Silliest/Funniest sex you've had

What is everyone's silliest and/or funniest sex stories?

A recent one for me: I was laying around in bed at my apartment, just waking up and only wearing my pj bottoms, when my boyfriend came in and laid next to me. After a while he was playing around with my pants (They're the bottoms that have really wide legs and the draw string waist.) and he rips off his pants very suddenly and crawls on top of me INTO my pants with me! We both fit! So we're both laughing about both fitting into my pj bottoms and one thing led to the next, as such things happen, and we were fucking in my pj bottoms... I just found it incredibly amusing! After a while he had pulled out briefly then was all of a sudden he was like "oops" and came between my legs near my ass. The "oops" just made the whole thing even funnier for me.
We were both laughing so hard. Probably one of the silliest sex experiences I've had.

So I'd love to hear anyone else's silly sex stories!

Almalthia complains that I sometimes take too long. This is due to the fact that orgasm has never been particularly import to me, I like the actual intercourse better. That being said, about 80% of the time I have fairly precise control of my climax. I do plenty of Kegels and am into the tantric stuff, heh.

Anyway, I was feeling particularly randy one afternoon, and tried to intiate a lil lovin'. She wasn't really in the mood for a nice lovemaking session and jokingly told me "you've got 10 minutes, get to it."

I said, "You REALLY want me to finsih quickly?", she said "9 minutes."

I grinned and said "8 and a half minutes longer than I need".

Lubed up, six quick thrusts later, I climaxed. I said "alright, there ya go." and started getting dressed.

With a look of disbelief, she said, "no you didn't." Then checked... "OH MY GOD YOU DID!!"

I simply shrugged "you said make it fast."

She then laughed for about 15 straight minutes. We did it right later that day.

I fucked a clown once.

I was dating a guy last year and during sex we would move around alot. I mean, ALOT. We were trying to be quiet because we were staying at his parents house, and we ended up falling off of the bed. Needless to say his parents woke up, but by the time they found us we were dressed and pretending like we were playing video games. It was so funny.

Silliest: I was lying down, getting head and I was about to cum - so I sad the manditory statement, "i'm going to cum". So she kept going - and at the last second pulled off. If my hand wasn't right over my eye - I would have nailed myself in the eye. Luckily it was only on my hand and on the side of my face...
If I didn't start laughing - I perhaps would have cried, lol.
Funnest: Was visiting a friend who was staying at this hotel and we'd had a couple drinks and we were outside smoking when we kinda looked at each other - and just said, what the hell, let's do it. So, we went in the courtyard area of the hotel - everyone's room surrounding us - and just did it right there. I suppose it was funny, as much as it was fun.

This was back with my ex a few years ago. This was back in high school & we were getting the freak on in her family's TV room down in the basement. We were spooning with our tops on but pants off under the blankets. Things were getting pretty hot & heavy when all of the sudden we here steps just a few feet away from the door & BAM the door opens & in walks in her father. His eyes instantly go wide & him & I instantly make eye contact. Of course the moment that happened her & I separated instantly trying to play innocent. He knew what was going on & I knew he knew with the way he looked at me. He turned his head & saw the news was on & started talking to me about how horrible the things are on the news. Awkward chit chat about the news with me & then said he was going upstairs & left. My ex was modified but I just rolled over laughing. How many dad's walk in on his little girl getting pounded & try to cover up catching them by talking about the news with the bf lol, not many.

Another time he made a comment to me, one of the best things ever. “Boys will be boys.”.

Probably getting caught by the cops, giving a guy a blowjob in my car. Wasn't funny when it happened, but I laugh my ass off about it now.

When I was 16, I made the mistake of having sex with my boyfriend at my parents house in the middle of the day. This was not a mistake because my parents would have been pissed (They knew- I had already demanded to be taken to the OBGYN for birthcontrol) but becuase my sister (God rest her soul) who was somewhat mentally disabled (seriously, not a joke) walked into my bedroom and talked to us for a full 3 minutes, while we screamed at her to go away. She just continued talking like we weren't completely naked, and when she was done, she told me she loved me, tried to kiss my boyfriend, and left.

Obviously I was livid at the time. But thinking back on it now, it's fucking halarious.

ha ha ha that is so hilarious!

Today i went to the mall with my fiance. at one point we both felt we needed to go to the restroom. apparantly it was "stand in line to pee at the mall day" and we didn't know about it. There was a line for each restroom so long i couldn't believe and neither of us could hold it that long. Then we spotted one of those "family" rest rooms. as one mother and her toddler son exited, we ran in and locked the door.

Something about that family bathroom just made us laugh so hard. maybe it was the tiny baby toilet sitting next to the adult size one. Maybe it was that we had to pee so bad we both peed in front of each other for the first time. maybe it was the tiny kiddy sink... i don't know. but we just couldn't stop laughing. Then we joked about how everyone out there is either really pissed that we got to pee ahead of them all without waiting in line, or they're talking about how we're probably fucking in there... so we figure, lets make both true. it wasn't a romantic situation at all, we just thought it was so funny so we both dropped our pants, she bent over and just LAUGHED with her head very near to the ground (not recommended, you could lose your balance and fall) while i just thrusted from behind as i myself laughed almost uncontrollably.

We cleaned ourselves up, and exited laughing all the way out, past the line of people all staring at us trying to figure out what the hell we were laughing at...

It was funny to us... maybe you had to be there...

What like a robotic arm? Enhanced brain matrix implant?

Hot.

Once, when I was in band camp..

I actually DID cum in my own eye. It was hilarious, terrifying, and it burned worse than I could believe. For a moment I was concerned that I had finaly discovered the means by which masturbation actually can cause blindness.

woops, mortified*

That would have been both horrible and hilarious.

Hilorribleous, so to say.

this thread must not be allowed to die. it's just the thing to bring back great memories and grins. had alot of amusing experiences becuase sex should be and is funny sometimes. okay amusing story time. i was at the ex's apartment which she shared with three roomates, all the bedrooms being on the same floor. we were on her bed which had a headboard with built in shelving and she was riding me while holding the head of the bed. we were both getting pretty roudy and loud and she started rocking the bed. suddening we hear a crack and i get hit in the head with a picture frame from the shelves before the entire head of the bed falls on me and i slide into the wall headfirst as the bed tilts. we both scream and start laughing hysterically while i say oww over and over again. one of her roomates yells down the hall for her to be gentle and not break me and we both almost pissed ourselves laughing. i had a gash in my head from the frame and spinters in my chest from the shelving but it was one of the best nights i've ever had. just one of those random amusing memories you love having.

When me and the boyfriend were quite drunk one night and tried to have sex against his bedroom wall (him lifting me up, my legs around him) aannd we fell over. I'm not heavy but we were very unsteady at that stage.
I couldn't stop laughing.
Thankfully, I don't think there was anyone else in the house at the time.

Her: *boink boink boink*

Me: *boink boink boink*

Her: *glances at PS2*

Me: "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

Her: "What game should we play?"

Me: "Gotta be Kingdom Hearts."

Her: "Fire it up!"

Sadly, we didn't get the extra points for not having to dismount while getting Kingdom Hearts started during sex.

The only time I can remember feeling really silly/laughing really hard during sex was once when I was really drunk and he was really drunk, and I don't remember exactly which overly-ambitious position (or position-switching maneuver) we were trying, but I fell off his bed. And I landed on a big bottle of Tide, hard enough to break the fuckin' thing open, apparently (we didn't discover this until the morning, when we found ourselves wondering why the room smelled so fresh and clean and what that blue liquid all over the floor was--and why my hip was all tender and sore)--but it didn't hurt at all at the time. We did have to pause the sex for a minute or two so I could stop laughing, though, because I thought that shit was just massively funny at the time.

I was being orally serviced by my high school girlfriend on her parents couch. The door directly to the left of the couch was the door to the garage. No one else was home and we figured we'd hear the garage door open and get dressed in time.

Well, it didn't exactly happen that way....

Without warning, the door opened. Her dad (who was a customs agent with a gun) walks in and I had just enough time to put a throw pillow on my lap. He sat and chatted with us for a half an hour before going to change out of his uniform...all the while my pants were wide open and I was hanging out.

I jumped up, zipped up, and got the hell out of there. I don't know if he knew or not because he never let on and she never said anything. It was terrifying at the moment, but is really funny now.

K -

Here's my lifetime sex story... so far. I worked at a hotel front desk a few years back with a shitload of girls. Well, one night I was working the late night shift as a favor to another person when one of the other girls (who worked in a different department) came in and said she had some late night work to do (for some holliday thing we were doing). Anyways, we were the only two people working that night so she sort of sat in the back office as she did her work and I just sat out in the front as we chatted back and forth. Then out of the blue she asked me if I ever thought about fucking her. That was the first time I had ever been around a girl who was so upfront about it, though I could tell she was extremely nervous and before I could finish getting a word out she was like "of course not, that was stupid, just playing". Don't know what really came over me but I just shut the back door picked her up and threw her down on our Managers desk. We went at it for at least an hour and a half and had to stop occasionally for me to help a wandering guest arrive at the hotel in the middle of the night (nice hotel by the way, lol). That had to have been one of the best sexual experiences I have ever had! From then on we both couldn't help but snicker and laugh everytime we saw or boss working at his desk.

Ahh good times.

JP

Haha, this has happened to me often. For some reason when my ex would be getting me off she always would forget to cup the tip so I didn't shoot it in my own face. Luckily never got hit in the face but I had to do some wild Matrix Bullet-time shit to miss the ballistic load. Yeah, no offense to her but she suuuuuuuuuuuckkkkkkked at all sex related situations. Guess thats part of the reason why we didn't last, not because she wasnt good, she just didn't want to learn.

JP

That's HOT

my former boyfriend didnt tell me the halloween party we were going to was costume. he put enough alcohol in me to convince me it was a good idea to take off all my clothes except underwear and go as a lingerie model. he was dressed as a leprechaun (green shorts, shirt, hat, red wig and beard) and insisted in talking in an appalling irish accent. our friend who was throwing the party had set up a skate ramp in his garden so dylan was showing off a few tricks, but is absurdly accident prone and fell on his face, cutting his forehead. i took him to the bathroom and was mopping the blood off his face when he suddenly pulled me onto his lap and started undoing my bra. we were both so drunk we couldn't stop laughing at the situation and he spoke with a bad accent the entire time. who else can say they've done it with a bloody leprechaun on a bathroom floor?