morality question

If things arent clearly stated and talked about before hand (and I assume youve been wtih her a good while, since youre living together) then Id say play on the safe side-everything is cheating.

my affair and I have that right now,. neither of us desire an open relationship, or anything akin to that,

However, that isnt your case.

id say its cheating, since she doesnt care what your opinion is, and does it despite your protests.

Seems pretty simple to me so I'll break it down as such:

She has desire you will not fulfill
She goes out and has it fulfilled and then tells you that's the way it is
You do not like this because you feel cheated on
This new view of hers has destroyed your sex life because you can no longer have one with her
You approach her with proposal that would provide you with pleasure
She shuts down your proposal some how insinuating it is wrong while hers is "different"
You remain unhappy


That pretty much sums it up right? She has every right to be satisfied in the ways she wants. She went wrong by going about it in the way she did. You have every right to be happy and satisfied in the ways you want. This is not going to happen with her.

Prognosis: Leave unhealthy relationship.

Not buying the " I would have moved out" schtink.
If a person really wants out they go regardless of dime one. I have had a girl where I gave myself that excuse and I could have left, and another where I literally didn't have five bucks and moved out the day we broke up,where there is a will there is a way. Sounds like you just wish the situation didn't exsist and you already have the true answers. Now it is a matter of listening to yourself.

If the two of you aren't even sexually interested in each other anymore, then it's probably best to dissolve the romantic part of your relationship with her before your or her feelings get seriously hurt. Since you say you still enjoy her company and the two of you can hang out still without this incident affecting your interactions, then you could still maintain a friendship with her.

Al is right time to end it... the spark is gone... she's killed your trust... and doesn't want to earn it back.

Yeah , that's pretty much how I felt about it , that she killed my trust in her . Thank you all for your opinions . I've talked to my friends about it , but you know how friends are . They will tell you what you want to hear , or what they want to to further a agenda of their own .
But , all my friends told me the same thing too . Guess it's not just a case of telling me what I want to hear , huh ?