Females’ Value on Virginity

Forgive me if this has been done but I did try to search & didn't see anything. If there was & I missed & you feel like I should be flamed for it just bugger off please.

I told my roommate, who just turned twenty, that if he doesn't get laid soon he needs to get a call girl & get it done with. That got me thinking; I took no value on mine & no male I've ever known has either but all females I've known have. Why do you think that is? I swear more than half of the SGs have some comment around the likes of "if I could take it back from that bastard..." or "undeserving guy" or "horrible male" ect ect of the virginity question.

My two cents are (1) the hymen is usually broken & it is a coming of age act & (2) society has just pounded it into the heads that it is special for girls & guys not so much.

I just was curious for some opinions of the ladies.

The hymen breaking during sex thing is actually not always true. In fact, as far I know, it's not even usually true. Many, if not most, girls break their hymens on tampons or something like that. Also, not everyone has an impermeable hymen to begin with. There are a lot of ways that hymens get broken that aren't sex.

That said, I would say that the reason why many females have so much baggage attached to "losing" our virginity is because there's been a lot of shame and judgment and baggage attached to female sexuality overall.

Also, I've definitely known guys for whom the first time was special and important. The first guy I slept with was one of them.

I would agree with all of this and also add that I think one of the reasons why there is so much baggage is the risk of pregnancy and society's attitude towards young and/or unmarried pregnant women.

Hi, Samuraipupy, I'm mamet. I'm very pleased to meet you.

Now you know someone.

You know, if someone says their first time was bad, maybe it was just that. Bad sex, bad choice of guy, no idea how this thing works, guy too eager, hurting her and getting off in 2 seconds. It happens, and probably isn't all that rare. Not to mention worse possibilities.

Oh, yeah! The baby thing. Duh.

When I was younger I just wanted to "get rid" of mine. I had no idea that virginity had a value or should be special. I was extremely uninformed (or misinformed) when it came to sex and had to learn everything the hard way. I wish I could do it all over again with even a fraction of the knowledge that I have now.

Yeah, perhaps on a subconscious level ladies know that even the first time they sleep with someone it could causes them to have a baby, so may be more selective about who they lose their virginity to. But...many of my friends were certainly not selective!

1). That's really fucked-up of you to tell someone that you call your "friend" that he is somehow abnormal for not "getting laid" yet, and that he should go get a hooker. Boy I know I'd really prefer meaningless ejaculation and a case of herpes to a the physical consumation of an intimate connection with another human being.

2). Not all, or even most, men de-value their first or subsequent sexual experiences. It's just that men in line with your theory are more vocal about their sexual exploits, and view them in a quantitative fashion rather than qualitative.

3). Subrosa, Necia, and Olaf I think are all correct in their assessment of why women seem reluctant to lose their virginity. But would you have things go to the opposite end of the spectrum? Have people fuck and lose their virginty at a certain age, even if they weren't physically, not to mention emotionally ready for it?

I am co-opting this post. It is now my post. I said this about me.

Me too.

Not disputing what you are saying. I just wanted to dispel a myth and point out that most sex workers have a vast knowledge of sexually transmitted diseases and know what signs/symptoms to look for on a client's genitals to avoid having intercourse with someone who potentially might have a STD. Most sex workers also use condoms religiously. Getting herpes from a hooker is probably not very likely.

Okay, continue the discussion

It's unfortunate. I think when you're a virgin (by "you" I mean "I", cause I can only speak for myself) having sex for a guy is an extreme right of passage thing. It's a cliche but it really is true. There's a lot of pressure on guys to lose their virginity by a certain age.

I didn't lose my virginity until later than a lot of my friends and it became a weird feeling of pressure. Plus, I just didn't know what it was like to not be a virgin. You don't realize that your first time is something that should be special. But at the same time, its not that big of a deal. I think I stressed over it more than I should have.

Consequently, I freaked out and ended up losing my virginity to a hooker in Tiijuana (no, not really)

1. i thought of my virginity as something i wanted to share with a man that i loved....someone with who i was in a commited relationship with. this is exactly what happened.
it was with the man i eventually married, it was the first time for both of us and it was wonderful.


2. the wonderful man i am engaged to now (yes i am divorced) shared his viriginity with me. it meant a lot to him. i am glad he didn't just lose it to some call girl to get it over with, and so is he.

Why did you say this to him? I mean, his virginity is none of your business, and just because you did not place any value on your first sexual experience does not mean he should feel/do the same as you.

Huh. I was pretty careful with my virginity. It was a big deal to me, while I had it.

+1

Some people never lose their virginity.

Shakers and people like that
(I guess I'm talking to myself at this point)

I should just go to bed

Unless you had a 20-something virgin roommate like I did who whined about it constantly, was bitter when you had girls over, and acted like he might shoot up a McDonalds someday if he didn't get laid. Now can you see where the "Dude. Get a hooker." suggestion comes from?

No, cause hookers are dirty and dangerous. If he was at the point of shooting up a McDonald's over his virginity, he probably needed counseling.

Personally, I never considered virginity to be a thing which I 'had.' It was more of a thing which I lacked, which is to say that it was simply a state of ignorance with regard to sex. I lost it (or rather gained my first carnal knowledge) at the ripe and legal age of 18 with a woman I had met earlyer that same day. It was excellent and many repeats were enjoyed. Perhapse the shear quality of my first sex is why I am so comfortable with having moved past virginity, and why I consider it better to have moved on.

That said, I am a man. As you know, we have no emotions and don't value anything besides physical gratification.

hear, hear

you do know that there are sex workers that are members of this site, correct?

You do know that prostitution is illegal, right?