Threesomes gone wrong

That may have been your.... experience.... but it hasn't been... mine.

Thanks for sharing the cautionary tale. I don't think all men will fail to follow that rule though. Another man may realize that he feels ready to revisit the rules and discuss it with his partner instead of just doing it.

I don't have any threesome stories though. I've just never happen to have them single (admittedly I have been rarely single), and only been in an open relationship a short while.

When I was in college three female friends handcuffed me to my bed. I'm not sure where the hell it was headed but my roommate knocked on the door when he found it locked after about 30 seconds of over the clothes fondling and all three of them fled. With me still handcuffed. Absolutely nothing about it made any sense, especially since except for one of them, about a year later, none of them were anything at all more than platonic friends, before or since. I've asked what the hell they were up to, but I never got a straight answer.

I lost my virginity in a threesome. True story. Had never met the guy and haven't seen him or talked to him since. Weeeeiiird! I don't talk to the chick anymore either cuz she's a stuck-up bitch. Oh well. I've also had sort of threesomes with my husband. I don't let him have sex with the other girl because I know that would end badly but everything else is ok....and I have that one rule as well. No touchy when Aydan isn't there! He's kept his end of the bargain pretty well so far.

Not to pick on you, but I think that rule is kind of bullshit. Like, I understand why a guy would agree to that rule and I understand why someone would think that's a good idea, but it's not exactly fair. You're having sex with the girl, so why shouldn't the guy get to?

Moreover, to me it makes it seem like girl-on-girl sex is somehow less intimate and not as much "sex" than boy-on-girl sex. I understand the penetration/std issue, but it seems to me that in general those concerns tend to be post hoc rationalizations.

In my opinion, if a man can trust his partner enough to let her have sex with someone else, the woman should afford him the same leeway.

I'm kind of easily talked into things, and one night I found myself drunk and in an MFM threesome. After about 5 minutes, I decided it wasn't fun anymore, then pretended to pass out and rolled off, then under the bed. I'm pretty sure they were still going when I actually passed out about 5 minutes afterward. I woke up in bed(alone) in the morning, and I'm fairly sure I did not climb in there myself.

This makes for a hilarious visual.

in my head i read this as if William Shatner was saying it.

I have had two experiences with threesomes. In my experience, the better of the two was when there was no restrictions. The first one i had was with my ex-wife, which was a bad idea because our relationship wasn't exactly rock solid to begin with. She had set an enormous amount of rules into place, and in the end of our relationship she used the threesome against me, as if she didn't agree to it and i forced it on her.

The second one was completely spontaneous. It happened with two female friends spur of the moment. No rules to abide by. I don't even know how it happened. Well, alcohol helped, but thankfully i don't drink and was cold sober for the duration of the event. We had been platonic friends for a long, long time, i was just considered "the friend". I still talk to them to this day, it never affected our friendships, i never had expectations of it happening again. I actually went to the one girl's wedding, which pretty much ended the possibility of it happening again. But it was a very pleasant experience over all.

So i am 50/50 on them, they are totally dependent on the people involved in the situation.

I'm have to agree with subrosa. It's trying to have it both ways, and it's pretty unfair. You're saying the other person can't be trusted, but you still get to have the fun you're afraid of them having? If you're a jealous person, maybe you should just not have threesomes. It seems like begging for trouble. Not you personally obviously.

Edited to add that I suppose some guys could be okay with something like that, but I can't see how. I'd take it as a slap in the face.

God, I love reading about people's poor life choices. It's delicious.

Show off.

While I understand the assumption that it's unfair to have that ground rule, her having sex with the girl just isn't the same as him doing it- if the tables were turned and her boyfriend was asking to have a threesome with another guy, but told her he was uncomfortable with watching her have full-on penetrative sex with him and preferred that she watch the two of them together and keep play between their third light, and she agreed- I doubt these same cries of "how unfair!" would be popping up.

The jealousy issues involved in watching your partner having sex with someone who shares your gender are generally different than watching your partner having sex with someone who doesn't, and sometimes you make compromises in order to make sure everyone walks away feeling comfortable and happy with the situation.. .

Try it when you're in a relationship with someone who isn't insecure, jealous, and controlling.

Your experience will be MUCH better. Promise.

I was going to go through this point by point, but then i realised I don't care enough about other people's sex lives to bother keeping up with this thread. However, I disagree with what you said. The number of penises involved doesn't make a difference.

Had two experiences with a then girlfriend and a good guy friend. Both times went well, we only had the rule of playing all with each other, when all in the same room.

Haven't had any others then that, so for me it's been a positive and fun experience.

Personally i think it comes down to who's involved, and how strong all are personally.

Also depends on if two are in a relationship, or if all are just friends.

/shrugs/

More to the point, if you're in a relationship, it can work, but only if said relationship is strong.

If you're not, and you're invited by a couple to join in, as a general rule, don't get involved with either party unless they are single.

I completely agree with Subrosa. And Talby’s comments piss me off.

I dated a bisexual girl not too long ago. She dug hot girls. Cool, I dig hot girls too. I let her do whatever she wanted. She loved it. Yet if I ever even said another girl was hot, she’d get homicidal. In her mind, I was her boyfriend and only allowed to think about doing anything with her. But since she was bisexual, it was totally fine for her to mess around with other girls whenever she wanted. I fear she's not the only person who thinks like this. Fucking bullshit.

You are making the argument that girl-on-girl sex isn't the same as boy-on-girl sex. On that point, I disagree wholeheartedly. Alternately, the argument that it would be the same if the guy was free to have "full-on sex" with another guy is similarly unavailing for two reasons:

1) If the guy is not bisexual, that's a completely false offer. "Oh, but honey, it's fair for me to have sex with both genders that I enjoy having sex with because in exchange you get to have sex with me and any member of a gender you're completely uninterested in you'd like!" Well gee. Thanks.

2) Even if the guy does swing that way, it still puts non-heterosexual sex on a plane below heterosexual sex.

Now, to address Onie's point, I totally understand why both men and women would make this types of arrangement for themselves. Every relationship has to come up with a base level of comfort, and if that leads you to this agreement and it works for you, then that's great. I just hear about these types of arrangements relatively often and I don't think people often think about the assumptions that these arrangements are usually based on.

It wasn't the threesome that was the issue it was your boyfriend was a cheater. If you enjoyed continue to have them but find a SO that you can trust and is faithful.

And you never will.

Ok- I shouldn't have over generalized- you guys have all have a point- and I don't contend that my experience is anywhere near universal- but I'm not placing any type of sex below any other type (I actually typed "assuming the guy is the bi one in the relationship" but deleted it, thinking the comparison would be given) I'm just talking about how jealousy shakes out when a straight guy dates a bi girl

Despite pissing him off, Hor's comment kinda illustrates what I said- she was allowed to "mess around with" other girls, and the implication was that constituted complete freedom for her, but she gave him none, because she didn't want him to be with any girl besides her. I'd say that this is b/c jealousy issues can be very different when your looking at your partner being with someone who shares your gender and someone who does not. For instance- what would the reaction have been if she had wanted to mess around with another guy?

I understand that my personal experience is not universal, but I've seen enough times where a straight guy dates a girl who is bi and "lets her" play with other girls on the condition that he can too (yet she isn't "allowed" to see other guys as well) to know that (at least in my experience) there can be different feelings of jealousy based on gender- guys get jealous at the prospect of thinking of their girlfriend sleeping with another dude, yet don't feel that way when thinking of her being with another girl. I can understand that a girl might feel the same way towards her boyfriend. .