NEWS: Tool Fans: You Need to Chill

MUSIC: Tool Fans: You Need to Chill

Tool singer Maynard James Keenan has found a way to avoid mass murders and riots amongst his band's rabid fanbase. He simply told them to "relax."

Unsurprisingly, Tool's 15-date minitour has taken no time to sell out, and evidently fans have been expressing disappointment on Tool messageboards (sorry, I am not shelling out $40 to join the army, maybe some of you are members?). To quell the hysteria, Maynard posted the following statement to the Tool homepage:

So do not fuck with scalpers or Maynard will have more people to make impotent. If you are lucky, you have tickets to one of the shows, if not, there is always the upcoming tour at the end of the summer. Tool's latest record, 10,000 Days, spawned a single called "Vicarious" which debuted in the top 5 of every major US rock radio chart this week.

Man, pissing off Maynard would be like pissing off Jesus, or Henry Rollins.

Actually, it's probably worse.

Maynard...

I never realized how wussy of a name that is.

But who am I to talk? My name's Christoph.

Tool's rad.

what about diseases for shitty bands which are still around 10 years after everyone thought they broke up?

look around. its still the 90's in a lot of places.

I got tix, as I have been blessed by the heavens above. I'm a Toolarmy member, and they were even more pissed because there were no presales. It was really absurd how bad the fans get fucked by scalpers and others, though.

hahaha yeah is the album called 10,000 days because thats how long it took to put out a new freakin cd?

dont do a cover that says " i cant understand what makes a man hate another man help me understand" and wish some awful virus on someone (plus we all know its blasphemy to cover depeche mode)... well unless there is a difference between Tool Maynard and APC Maynard... but just like the differences between APC and Tool... its probably very minimal if anything

=-> Alecks

I seriously didn't know that the first song from the new CD was new. I thought it was just a song off their last CD I'd missed or forgotten.

When I read the headline I thought this would be about how painfully mediocre the new record is. Oh well, I guess scalpers do suck more... but not by much.

I must admit I was hoping that it would be about the album going around actually being a hoax and that the real, kickass version is the one coming out on May 2nd.

Like Beirut. Or Rockford, IL (which, surprisingly enough, some German travel magazine thinks is "trendy". Here comes the Eurotrash!)

its funny how this band from the 90s sold out in a few mins everywhere in mins. And the album everyone seems to hate is in the top five just about everywhere. They must really suck. Ohh, and have you seen any ads for it besides the single? Maybe online. Everyone else seems to put there face all over everything they can think of just to sell one CD. But i forget. They are just a shitty band from the 90s right?

Oh god, if only that were true. A ton of people would be pissed at the band for pulling a ridiculous joke like that, but in the end we'd wind up with a good record and that would be all that mattered.

I've got a fresh new idea for message boards!

If you don't like the topic, don't click on it. If you don't like the subject of the article, you can stop reading it and move on to something else.

Then you don't have to look as though you have nothing better to do than bitch and complain!

It's amazing!! Try it!

You rock!

where was the hysteria, exactly? All I got from this was that there were people annoyed about not being able to get tickets.

This is Déjà vu!

no shit.

Isnt' scalping illegal? It seems like it would be fairly easy to fuck a lot of scalpers right back.

+1

I mostly read this story because of the title. Cracked me right up.

I'd really like to know how the scalpers on eBay do it. I was online before 10am with 2 computers, and had absolutely no chance of getting tickets throught Ticketmaster. eBay had sellers with listings like "orch. section, row & seat announced after 10am" - selling tickets before they even had possession of them (oh, for $500+ apiece). Obviously breaking the 2 ticket limit too. How is it done?

Not whining, just have a legit question for anyone who knows.

[Edited on Apr 28, 2006 5:09PM]

Can't get my image to work, and my dumb ole quote don't mean much without it. Does flickr hate SG?

[Edited on Apr 28, 2006 9:53PM]

So because something sells a lot that makes it good?

It's only wrong if you get caught.