Best Complaints

Enough of this ego-boosting "best compliments" crap. What's the best complaint anyone has expressed to or concerning you?

"Seriously, dude, you look like shit. Next time I see you wearing green corduroy pants and an orange Hawaiian shit, I swear I'm going to kick your ass."

HAH! I think my best complaint came from my mom recently. I was picking my nose in a store. She looked over at me and said "I swear, sometimes I am embarrassed to go out in public with you."

I've been told more than once that I am tactless, and for a variety of reasons.

Ha! When I was a kid, my friend's mom caught me with the finger up the nose and, with a wry smile, said "digging for treasure?"

"We can't take you anywhere" is a pretty popular one for me.

or

"Sometimes if I didn't know you better, I would swear you were gay."

Oh, I almost forgot THE BEST COMPLAINT EVER:

Straight out of the mouth of my friend Tim...you ready? *drum roll*

"Tiffany, if I didn't know you, I would hate you."

"You make me feel like a horrible parent.''

Yes! I've totally gotten that one, as has my brother. My mom is awesome.

So far, nothing too bad I think.

"The Mother Superior told me that if I ever left the convent my kids would be a curse on me from God."

That one was always a classic.

From my mother regarding my piercings... "They don't bother me... I'm not the one that has to walk around looking like an idiot.

I my mom.

"You're your father's fault. Not mine."

i feel like you're just using me for sex... like that's all you want me for...

"But... but your hair doesn't even look like it's a natural color!" (My mother, being terribly observant of the fact that I'd dyed my hair purple when I was 20)

"When are you going to grow up and start wearing real clothes and shoes? 25 is far too old for the "all-black, combat boots or Converse" look." (again, my mom)

"Why Shal... You're WEIRD!" (said in all honest surprise by my grandmother when she saw my multiple gauged ear piercings with different numbers of piercings in each ear)

"So I suppose you're going to start dating girls now" (my dad, when I cut my almost-waist-length hair to short-and-spiky when I was 18)



[Edited on Oct 04, 2004 by Shalome]

"I'm don't love you. I just love your penis." or something like that

She definately meant it as a complaint or an insult, but it was easily one of the greatest things anyone has ever said to me.

My last girlfriend right after our breakup:

"You need to be more careful with that boyish charm of yours...that's some dangerous stuff."

Kind of a compliment wrapped in a complaint.

Your not wearing THAT are you?

You have such a pretty face now if you'd only loose some weight.

"I love you, but I'm not in love with you."

It's a mild statement, but kicks your ass so hard all the same.

I've heard that too many times

and my last ex said this gem,

"If you were somebody else you might be a nice guy"


I had no idea what she meant.

"I would be crazy to think of you as Fort Knox."

I'm much more amused than insulted in any capacity.

My Ex had the balls to deliver a much more painful version of that same sentiment:

"I just don't love you as much as you seem to love me"

Back when I first got my hand tatted my mother says (in a depressed exhausted voice) "You got your hand tattooed, well thats disappointing".....(Mind you this was like a month after I had it done and have seen her like a half a dozen times since I had it done)

It was all in her look and tone that did it for me.


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