Dating is immeasurably frustrating. It’s not like the dating pool is huge to begin with – sure, there are lots of people out there, but we all have our tastes, our proclivities, our peculiarities. Sometimes we fall in lust with someone totally unavailable; sometimes the opposite happens; sometimes we like someone enough to date them and only find out after we’ve given away our hearts that they are fake poser liar cheating assholes. Ahem. Sorry, it’s not like I’m speaking from personal experience…
So imagine dating; imagine how difficult, how awkward, how soul-killing it is. Now, throw being a vegan into the mix. I’ve been on a few dates with people who chose to be totally offensive and disrespectful of my eating preferences. That, my friends, is a dealbreaker – so the next time you’re on a date with a vegan, don’t make any of those tacky jokes, and don’t try to feed your restricted-diet potential lover a bite of your steak at dinner – it’s just rude.
But wait, it gets better. Some vegans choose not to sleep with meat-eaters altogether. Some vegans go so far as to only sleep with other vegans. It’s a phenomenon called “vegansexuality” – and I think it’d be more common among vegans if it weren’t so damn hard to find other eligible, attractive vegans. But despite the extra effort involved – a vegan-only dating diet can be worth it in more ways than one. See, when your diet is poor – and this includes not only meat, but soda, alcohol, cigarettes – it affects your health, which in turn – pay attention! – affects the way you smell and taste. (Sometimes, it also affects your asshole factor. See above.)
[Pictured: Uva in Veggie Picnic]
(It’s fresh, it’s fruity, it’s vegan, and it tastes better.)
Have you ever heard that “vegans taste better”? It turns out that a diet high in fruits and vegetables, and low in acidic meat and animal products, promotes bodily secretions that are milder in taste. Simply put, vegans do generally taste better. We also have more sensitive palates, as a result of eating so many delicately flavored vegetables – so we will smell and taste things stronger than omnivores. If you want the science, I don’t have it. I just have my personal experience and that of many other people who have talked about it on the internet. (Taste is subjective anyway.)
It’s not just your vaginal secretions or semen than are affected. Your sweat and your saliva will smell different if you vary your diet, too. And it’s not just about taste; certainly, many vegans are put off by the thought of drinking the bodily secretions of a meat eater, but it also has to do with compatibility. To many vegans, their lifestyle choice is like a religion. It’s very, very important to them, and they can’t imagine wanting to share their life with someone whose values are so radically different.
Have you scored a date with a vegan? Even if they’re not vegansexual, you might do well to follow these tips:
Be open to their dietary choices. Ask, but don’t make fun, don’t prod, and don’t be an ass about it.
Do not suggest that they eat something non-vegan. Don’t cook non-vegan food for them. Don’t try to “tempt them” with food that they’ve chosen not to eat. It’s difficult to say no to someone you really like, even if they are rudely asking you to cross your own moral boundaries.
Maybe decide not to eat meat in front of them, especially not on the first date. Show that you can go a meal without it, and it’ll reveal your respect for them as a person.
Don’t kiss them with meat mouth, or with cheese or egg mouth either. That’s gross. In fact, why are you kissing with food in your mouth at all?
If you know you’re about to get down, drink lots of water and sweet fruits. Pineapple juice is a good idea too.
This is why I don't date vegans.. they don't tend to travel well. When I was walking across Spain I saw some vegans / vegetarians reject the most heartfelt hospitality because it didn't fit with their lifestyle. That didn't sit well with me.
Otherwise though, I have no problems and think it's disrespectful to try to trick people into or try to convince them otherwise. The more vegans there are the more bacon there is for me and my future bacon-loving dates.
I don't have issues with dating vegans in principle, but you know that there's going to be some food-based conflict farther down the line. Mal's recipes are pretty tasty though.
I can't say I agree with everything in this post... the undertone kind of put me off, as a meat eater, but I can definitely agree that I smell better when I don't eat meat. I rarely have more than a couple pepperonis on my pizza or a piece of bacon here and there, but last weekend, for some reason, everywhere I went I ate cheeseburgers and brisket and just junk. A couple of days later my hands smelled very unpleasant. I washed them a few times before I realized it was because I ate josie grossy food all weekend (this has happened before) and my skin was radiating a stench. Vom.
If I were vegan and a person tried to tempt me into eating meat or trick me... deal breaker, for sure.
Lemonkid said:
This is why I don't date vegans.. they don't tend to travel well. When I was walking across Spain I saw some vegans / vegetarians reject the most heartfelt hospitality because it didn't fit with their lifestyle. That didn't sit well with me.
Otherwise though, I have no problems and think it's disrespectful to try to trick people into or try to convince them otherwise. The more vegans there are the more bacon there is for me and my future bacon-loving dates.
I don't have issues with dating vegans in principle, but you know that there's going to be some food-based conflict farther down the line. Mal's recipes are pretty tasty though.
*bunkers down for shitstorm*
Sorry, the "lifestyle" bit rubbed me the wrong way here. While I felt more confident about being vegan the more I learned about how animals raised for food are kept, I became vegan because I simply couldn't physically tolerate animal products anymore. They literally make me sick.
Even if someone became vegan on strictly moral grounds and decided to suspend that moral conviction for a while, that person can't just go eat an omelet because they're on vacation -- they will vomit that ethnic specialty all over that quaint Catalan restaurant, and you.
I travel quite frequently, to a whole host of not-veggie-friendly places, and I always manage to find something I can eat. My hosts and waiters usually understand "Meat and dairy make me ill. Can I get something else?" and no one is offended because I've framed it as a health issue (and it's not untrue).
You have the right to choose what you eat, and I won't give you shit about it so long as you don't give me shit about what I eat. That's my philosophy, anyway, and so far it has worked for five years of marriage to an avowed carnivore. But saying you won't date vegans for the reasons you wrote above is ignorant and judgmental.
But it's not ignorant or judgmental to say that non-vegans smell and taste bad? This whole article made tons of personal judgments (and there's nothing wrong with that--these vegan articles have been better than most of the Newswire posts).
Lemonkid is just saying he doesn't want to date a vegan because his lifestyle would come into too much conflict with a vegan's lifestyle. I don't see the problem with that.
I also don't think that many vegetable are "more delicately flavored" than, say, a queso fresco. Or that eating just vegetables means your palate is better. That is just silly. The vast majority of the most refined palates in the world belong to chefs who eat animal products.
PointBlank said:
But it's not ignorant or judgmental to say that non-vegans smell and taste bad, providing only anecdotal evidence to support your arguments? This whole article made tons of personal judgments (and there's nothing wrong with that--these vegan articles have been better than most of the Newswire posts).
Amended. Everything in this article is subjective, from the preferred taste of bodily secretions to acceptable table manners. I'm sure there are vegans who can appreciate a good "try my steak" joke (not saying that it's always appropriate to offer your vegan date a bit of meat, but some people may find themselves unable to resist the urge to crack a joke about it).
Also, in the same article where you pled for carnivores to be respectful of vegans, you consistently insinuated that meat-eaters are rude, stinky people with filthy secretions. Sticking the argument that some people take their diet extremely seriously, to the point where they will reject potential partners because of their diets (regardless of any other redeeming qualities), in the middle of that doesn't help.
And if people are at the point where they're treating their diet like a religion, they may have larger problems than meat mouth.
I'm not giving anyone shit about what they eat. I'm not sure what the problem with the world lifestyle is - eating meat is as much of a lifestyle as being vegan is. It's the way you're setting up your life, there's no judgment attached there.
There's certain experiences I want to share with people I date, and that includes food. I prefer to be able to share these culinary experiences whether in be Berthillon ice cream in Paris or a cheese and honey dish in Spain.. I'd want someone I was dating to share in those experiences with me.
If a vegan doesn't want to date me because I might make eggs benedict at home from time to time, that's fine. If a rock climber doesn't want to date me because they really want to be with someone who can share the experience of rock climbing with them, that's fine too. Unless you're eating vegan due to pre-existing allergies / health problems, you've made a choice to eat vegan. That's cool.
That said if you're equally against the concept of "vegansexuality" and people who eat meat only dating other people who eat meat because you think choosing a partner based on culinary preferences is whack, that makes more sense.
For the record I don't like ethnic specialties vomited all over me at quaint Catalan restaurants, or anywhere else for that matter.
I know so many veggie/vegan straight women who date or have married omnivores. I imagine that finding a decent vegan guy is actually pretty freaking tough simply because, anecdotally, it's more common for women than men to be vegetarian or vegan.
For the record I think Malloreigh is great and I don't think anything she wrote was offensive in the slightest.
I've heard enough anecdotal evidence of different tasting semen based on diet (I've yet to participate in any double blind scientific semen samping studies) that I believe it's true, although whether the taste is 'better' is entirely subjective.
As for the palate, well that doesn't really make much sense to me at all, and is something I'd question. I don't think your tastebuds increase in sensitivity by removing meat/dairy from your diet.
In terms of cuisine, a sophisticated palate, born of experience, trumps a sensitive palate (inborn). A sophisticated palate comes from experience and tasting a wide variety of foods. One could argue that someone raised as a vegan from birth would have a less sophisticated palate than a non-vegan by simple virtue that they've eaten a smaller variety of foods, are familiar with a smaller variety of tastes. This isn't to say that their level of taste might not be excellent with the foods they're familiar with.
Some quotes from an article in the Wine Spectator, re: palate sensitivity:
Taste sensitivity is an inborn characteristic. According to scientists, roughly 25 percent of people are considered to be "non-tasters," who don't have sensitive taste buds. About 25 percent are "super-tasters," and the remaining 50 percent are considered "normal" tasters.
Being a super-taster doesn't guarantee having a "good" palate in the sense of being able to detect nuances in wine. Au contraire—the super-tasters are so sensitive that wine (and coffee and broccoli and many other flavors) can be painful to them. And those who do have good palates still have points at which they are more or less vulnerable to varying levels of brett, bitterness or residual sugar.
What typically separates the great tasters is that they do indeed have very sensitive palates, but they also have excellent taste memories, exposure to a wide range of wines, and years of experience, along with an ability to concentrate and to focus on a wine's inherent character. They are also consistent in their likes and dislikes of certain styles of wine.
For the record I think Malloreigh is great and I don't think anything she wrote was offensive in the slightest.
I will agree with you that she's great, and I'll agree with PointBlank that this article is still better than what's commonly posted via the Newswire. That doesn't mean that I have to agree with her on every single point.
I've heard enough anecdotal evidence of different tasting semen based on diet (I've yet to participate in any double blind scientific semen samping studies) that I believe it's true, although whether the taste is 'better' is entirely subjective.
But it's still only that: anecdotal. There is no scientific consensus that vegan diets ameliorate the taste of bodily fluids. If there is, it should have been included. One cannot say that "vegans do generally taste better" without sharing actual evidence without earning some criticism. Likewise, someone cannot argue that people that consume meat have more stamina without facing scrutiny.
Speaking of which, this article completely ignores the degree of meat consumption. Either you're a meat eater or you're a vegan. What about vegetarians, people who only eat fish or poultry, or people who subsist solely on fast food and TV dinners (Preservatarians)?
I've also found that the taste of people's secretions vary independently of diet. Some people just taste better than others.
Malloriegh said:
I’ve been on a few dates with people who chose to be totally offensive and disrespectful of my eating preferences. That, my friends, is a dealbreaker – so the next time you’re on a date with a vegan, don’t make any of those tacky jokes, and don’t try to feed your restricted-diet potential lover a bite of your steak at dinner – it’s just rude.
There was this one time I was out to a friendly dinner in San Francisco with an out-of-town SG that I didn't know very well and a couple of other friends. We all met at a thai restaurant, and the aforementioned SG (who was an entirely pleasant and friendly person overall) made more than one judgmental comment about being reluctant to sit on the same side of the table as me because I'd ordered a dish that contained chicken.
Malloriegh said:
I’ve been on a few dates with people who chose to be totally offensive and disrespectful of my eating preferences. That, my friends, is a dealbreaker – so the next time you’re on a date with a vegan, don’t make any of those tacky jokes, and don’t try to feed your restricted-diet potential lover a bite of your steak at dinner – it’s just rude.
There was this one time I was out to a friendly dinner in San Francisco with an out-of-town SG that I didn't know very well and a couple of other friends. We all met at a thai restaurant, and the aforementioned SG (who was an entirely pleasant and friendly person overall) made more than one judgmental comment about being reluctant to sit on the same side of the table as me because I'd ordered a dish that contained chicken.
Since we're all just anecdotally provin' everything around here, In my experience meat eaters tend to make cutting jokes or remarks about vegans/vegetarians when they eat together because they feel threatened or they feel like they're being judged. That doesn't excuse that behavior, mind you. I'm just saying that tends to be at the root of why I'd imagine most meat eaters would lash out at someone for their dietary choices that don't affect them personally at all.
Indeed. Another note of experience to consider: meat smells *bad* to many of us after we've been veggie for long enough... I can't count how many times I've felt honestly nauseated by smell of someone else's meaty meal and had a hard time eating next to them because of it, but kept it to myself because I didn't want to get labeled as the Problematic/Snotty Vegan.
I don't know her personally so I can't say one way or the other about her, but it *just might* have been an honest discomfort and not personally judgmental (Unless, of course, she did something like turned to you and said "You're a filthy meat eater and I don't want to be near you, yourself", which again not knowing her I admit is a possibility).
Subrosa said:
Since we're all just anecdotally provin' everything around here, In my experience meat eaters tend to make cutting jokes or remarks about vegans/vegetarians when they eat together because they feel threatened or they feel like they're being judged. That doesn't excuse that behavior, mind you. I'm just saying that tends to be at the root of why I'd imagine most meat eaters would lash out at someone for their dietary choices that don't affect them personally at all.
It seems like maybe it's mutual insecurity. On the couple of occasions I've dined with non-omnivores, what I was reminded of most was dealing with churchgoers back when I was still dealing with rejecting the religion I'd grown up in. Several times for each case, I don't think I was imagining the disapproving judgment coming from the other party. Little clues, like when they say "that's disgusting". But as Malloreigh related, I'm sure that most non-omnivores have had to deal with us meat-eaters shoving our diets in their faces. So there's ample reason for both 'sides' to be wary of being mocked or judged by the other. People often go on the offensive when they feel threatened.
So, personally, I don't tend to hang out with non-omnivores, whether they're just vegetarians or vegans or whatever. I don't, y'know, run away screaming when someone mentions they don't eat meat, but it does put a mark in the "Not For Me" column. It just seems easier for everyone (potentially) involved.
Lemonkid said:
There's certain experiences I want to share with people I date, and that includes food. I prefer to be able to share these culinary experiences whether in be Berthillon ice cream in Paris or a cheese and honey dish in Spain.. I'd want someone I was dating to share in those experiences with me.
For the record, I love travel, and being vegan, I've found that searching for vegan food in other countries means going to some pretty strange, out-of-the-way places that I wouldn't have thought to look for otherwise. So it actually makes me a better traveler.
Yes, there are some experiences I miss out on. But there are some experiences that your average traveling omnivore misses out on too.
Lemonkid said:
There's certain experiences I want to share with people I date, and that includes food. I prefer to be able to share these culinary experiences whether in be Berthillon ice cream in Paris or a cheese and honey dish in Spain.. I'd want someone I was dating to share in those experiences with me.
For the record, I love travel, and being vegan, I've found that searching for vegan food in other countries means going to some pretty strange, out-of-the-way places that I wouldn't have thought to look for otherwise. So it actually makes me a better traveler.
Yes, there are some experiences I miss out on. But there are some experiences that your average traveling omnivore misses out on too.
Evercunt said:
I know so many veggie/vegan straight women who date or have married omnivores. I imagine that finding a decent vegan guy is actually pretty freaking tough simply because, anecdotally, it's more common for women than men to be vegetarian or vegan.
I know you were refering to anecdotally finding guys who are veggie and vegan but...
I know about an equal amount in both genders. My boyfriend is veggie. My old boss who is also a straight male is veggie. My new boss is veggie- he's gay and taken by another male veggie.. For me I have never seen a huge difference between gender and diet. But it could be a number of factors in me finding it common and you imagining it not as common. Location, education, ethics, even how much money they have to buy food. I dunno. It's interesting though.
For me veganism isn't limited to gender as much, I find it harder to find vegan guys who are also into cooking healthy vegan options, I know too many junk food fanatics
(I feel like i wish i could insert that 'more you know" graphic)
On the other end of the spectrum, some meat-eaters are so for dietary reasons. Myself, for example, have a very high metabolism and an allergy to soy. I'm pretty much carnivore because that's the practical option for me.
That said, I don't go for evangelical much of anything. I respect others' decision to do or not do something. I may ask why, but it's just curiosity about which of a plethora of reasons you chose: not prodding. This isn't limited just to dietary choice.
MrCrisp said:
Also, in the same article where you pled for carnivores to be respectful of vegans, you consistently insinuated that meat-eaters are rude, stinky people with filthy secretions. Sticking the argument that some people take their diet extremely seriously, to the point where they will reject potential partners because of their diets (regardless of any other redeeming qualities), in the middle of that doesn't help.
And if people are at the point where they're treating their diet like a religion, they may have larger problems than meat mouth.
Womp womp womp... looks like someone got a little bit defensive. I don't think I implied anything about ALL meat eaters, but I have been on multiple dates with meat eaters and have seen the spectrum. I've also slept with a few and I've seen THAT spectrum, too. I definitely disclaimed that this was my personal experience.
Also, veganism isn't just a diet. It's not just about health. It's a lifestyle - a life philosophy. Doesn't sound like a far cry from a religion to me.
Malloriegh said:
I’ve been on a few dates with people who chose to be totally offensive and disrespectful of my eating preferences. That, my friends, is a dealbreaker – so the next time you’re on a date with a vegan, don’t make any of those tacky jokes, and don’t try to feed your restricted-diet potential lover a bite of your steak at dinner – it’s just rude.
There was this one time I was out to a friendly dinner in San Francisco with an out-of-town SG that I didn't know very well and a couple of other friends. We all met at a thai restaurant, and the aforementioned SG (who was an entirely pleasant and friendly person overall) made more than one judgmental comment about being reluctant to sit on the same side of the table as me because I'd ordered a dish that contained chicken.
Sorry dude. I've been called a jerk before. A few years have helped me tone it down.
Malloreigh
SUICIDEGIRL
British Columbia, Canada
SEP 30, 2010 07:01 AM