Your honest opinions

Do you belive that the people that care most about you help you all that they can or do the people that try to hurt you the ones that care the most about you?

The road to hell is paved with good intentions. The people I care about the most end up inadvertantly hurting me. Not through any conscious effort on their part. But our species is a particularly selfish one.

i think if you are asking that question, you need to forget about that person and get on with it. go get laid and, get some revenge, something.

If you mean intend to hurt the most I would say no. Obviously people who are trying to hurt you don't care about you that much. Don't confuse how much you care about them with now much they care about you.

But I also think that things that wouldn't even hurt a little coming from other people can cut very deeply coming from someone who loves you. You just have to think about what their intent was. If it wasn't intentional try to get past it.

I think the problem is usually that the people who care about us the most tend to be the ones we care about the most, too. That means they are the only ones who are in any real position to cause us pain. Not that that helps any when you are hurting. I know that feeling. It really depends whether they meant to hurt you or not.

I believe that I often find myself dragging the people I care about behind me on a proverbial leash, trying to unseat them from their lethargic ennui. They are a collective pain in the ass, and Love luvs them dearly.

Sometimes you have to hurt people to help them and sometimes giving people everything they want hurts them most. I suppose its more about intent.

If someone deliberatly sets out specifically to hurt me with no reason other than their own pleasure then I wouldn't think they had my best intentions at heart.

If someone makes me feel a bit small and stupid by pointing a few things out about my behaviour...but they were doing it out of care to help me grow...then even though it'd hurt me I would know that they'd have my best interests at heart.

If someone makes me feel good by telling me everything I want to hear...even if they were doing it out of love for me....then I could end up worse off than if they'd been brutally honest.

[Edited on Jul 16, 2005 by Witness01]

Let me rephrase this...

Do you belive that the people that care most about you help you all that they can or do the people that try to maliciously hurt you the ones that care the most about you?

The first. I still think you may be confusing people you care about with people who care about you. People who care about you shoudn't act maliciously towards you. People who intentionally hurt those they claim to care about, espcially when they do it often or all the time, are liars. They don't care about you.

Well, if we are talking pure dictionary meaning:

v. cared, car·ing, cares
v. intr.

To be concerned or interested

the meaning of "to provide assistance" comes after that first one. So, to say that people who knowingly want to cause harm or mean ill will dont "care" is wrong. If we are taking the first meaning of "to care" then the only opposite is "to be ambivolent".


So back to the first question: It depends on the person and the relationship. There may be someone you care about in fond terms on a very basic level (say, if they were drowning, you'd throw over a life preserver) while at the same time there is someone else you care about in harmful terms in a very very strong way (say, if they were drowning, youd not only refuse to throw over that life preserver, you'd take the time to circle your boat around them just to watch them go down)

And the same is true in reverse. There are people you fondly care for deeply while there are people you hatefully care for in a small way.

depends on how much I'm payin 'em.

The ones that care the most about you are the ones that give you blowjobs. It's scientifically proven.

The people you love the most are the people who hurt you the most because they're the ones you leave yourself vulnerable to?

And what kinda roadwork are bad intentions responsible for?

[Edited on Jul 17, 2005 by robosagogo]

I love the threads where it seems like someone is asking for vindication of their existing opinion rather than advice.

E.G. "Do you think it's my job to do the dishes after I come from home work, even though my wife's been home all day, or should it be her job?"

The person already knows the answer to the question in their mind, they're just looking for back-up.

Maybe I'm reading too much into it, though.

i've never understood "tough love" or being mean to make good things happen.. i get people show how they feel in difrent way's, but you should concider the person your doing it two.

I would say that the prior is true more often than the latter in most cases; however, negative experiences can be life-changing ones. They can make you be a much better person, but they can also can cause a lot of trauma and sometimes serious health problems, too.

It would help if you would provide some examples in both cases. Then, these cases can be weighed in terms of pros and cons with respect to your particular life.

Thanks for rephrasing the question. The first attempt was really confusing. It would help to express it in more than one sentence.

*Edited for grammar*

[Edited on Jul 17, 2005 by Holden_Caulfield]

I used to have guy friends who did tough love because real love was just too gay for them. Then we put on our speedos and ran through the sprinklers while holding hands.

I read what you said twice.................i still need clarification.
Do i think the people thati love that hurt me do it on purpose? Hurt me the worst?

The question originally was not well thought out...

here goes. Would someone that truely loves you hurt you by maliciously calling you names and using your past against you and pick fights with you for no reason. Or is are the people that truely care about you the ones that are with you though any situation and support you all the way, not judging you for any mistakes that you have done, and mostly understanding of the majority of your decisions?

This is really more of what I am trying to say. It's not so relevent anymore since the person that this was aimed at really dosen't give a shit anyways. But thanks for your help people.

if by "care about" or "truly love", you mean "are violently obsessed with" or "are psychotic and/or socially disfunctional and know no other way of expressing emotion", then i can see where that hurting could equal caring/love/etc. ... but you gotta ask yourself if that's the kind of attention you want.

Who is the other person involved? (I'm assuming that you complement the party involved. If not, please provide everyone involved.) Do you trust all of the party involved?

This is really a tactic of both friends and enemies. Both can be deployed by either party to help or hinder you.

Usually, though, a good person will attempt the tough love method only after exhausting the loving and supportive method.

*Edited for punctuation*

[Edited on Jul 18, 2005 by Holden_Caulfield]

Obviously this person means you harm and/or ill will. Ditch their fuckin' ass and go on with your life.