Things your parents told you that turned out not t

I'd grow hair on my palms.

They said I would go blind. ha!

That a degree would help me get a good job.

My mom told me I would be quite the catch for some lucky lady.

Eating onions and/or sauerkraut would put hair on my chest. I still don't eat either.

College bullshit, anything that began with "ladies should always", three of the worst words put together in a sentence.
Oh yes, and if I continued to smoke I would be short. Which I am not.

"be yourself and girls will love you"

"give her a chance"

"don't write people off before meeting them"

and yeah, they told me that a degree would help me get a job (they probably didn't realize computer animation degrees don't get you jobs).

and, they said to "dream big"

[Edited on Jan 15, 2006 by KMFCM]

Haha, that just reminded me, one time I was at a family thankgiving party and I was eating watermellon. This dude told me if I ate the little tiny seeds, a watermellon would grow inside me.. it scared me for such a long time.. i wanted to go to the docters.

my parents told me weird stuff.. like if I stared at the cover of childs play for too long they would come to life... Or you can't see santa because he's so fat, or if i dont clean up I will die... haha i'd die anyways I see through the scheme

That people would try to drug me at concerts by slipping something in my drink... I've been waiting a long time for this to happen.

That you only need good credit to buy a house or car (as if that's not inevitable and important anyway).

That smoking pot and drinking would turn me into a loser...oh wait, did you say not true...I can't fucking remember

That I was special.

My dad left when I was five and so I can only remember the words of my late mother. She was very cool and I can't think of any lies.

But, one of my aunts told me that ear wigs are so called because they crawl into your ear and eat into your brain! I still hate ear wigs to this day

That I was a better kisser than dad was. What bullshit that turned out to be!!

Everyone hates ear wigs. They serve no purpose. They are just distilled evil.

that if i don't believe in god i'll go to hell...

...at least i think this is not true...

There used to be a comercial for some Time / Life books about the paranormal. The comercial had some woman who shape shifted into a cat or something.

My mom told me she could do that too.

When I asked about the walkways over the freeway, they said they were for Pedestrians. My Dad said a Pedestrian is someone who chooses to walk instead of drive a car.

For the longest time I thought being a Pedestrian was like being in some religion where you couldn't drive a car.

are you sure she can't? have you ever seen her and a cat in the same room at the same time?

Yes

Because she's dead


.
.
.
.
.
.
.

(sorry, the "my mom's dead" line will never get old)

But, actually, my mom used to tell me all sorts of things just to freak me out.