NEWS: Bus Driver Sues Michael Jordan for Ruining His Life

He says, "Enough is enough. I can't take it anymore." Heckard has filed a civil suit against Jordan and his longtime sponsors Nike, asking for $382 million for 15 years of harassment - but even he admits his chances of winning anything are slim.

He adds, "It's not about the money. A man has to have principles to stand on."

PointBlank said:
This suit is ridiculous and frivolous nonsense.
















Clearly, it should be a criminal and not a civil case. Jordan should be locked up.

MschfMayhemSoap said:
man should sue his own parents..... i mean HELL they MADE him that way...

BE LIKE MIKE?
by Randy Cassingham

Lots of people look like celebrities. Some turn their looks into a career, making personal appearances at parties and events. Some enjoy the spillover of fame. Some are annoyed. And some are really, really irritated.

Allen Ray Heckard, 51, is one of the latter. The Portland, Oregon, man says he looks a lot like former basketball star Michael Jordan, even though he's 3 inches shorter, 25 pounds lighter, and 8 years older. But, like Jordan, he shaves his head and wears a pierced earring on the left side.

"Don't get me wrong, it's definitely a positive thing," Heckard said in an interview. "Because Michael, like I say, is one of the best ballplayers that I've known to play the game. But then again, that's Michael and I'm me."

Right: Michael is an incredible athlete -- an Olympic gold medal winner -- who makes huge money lending his name to endorse products like Nike shoes. And Heckard is an ex-con (from a drug conviction), an airport shuttle driver and auto detailer. Jordan played for the Chicago Bulls; Heckard lives in Oregon. Still, Heckard says, it's "distressing" to be confused with Jordan, so he has filed a lawsuit.

Apparently, Heckard didn't find any lawyers who would take his case seriously, so he filed his typo-laden suit "pro se" -- on his own, without a lawyer -- in Oregon's Circuit Court for the County of Washington. The suit names Michael Jordan and Phil Knight, the co-founder of Nike, as defendants.

So what in the world could be the basis for such a lawsuit? "I... bring this suit... on the ground of defamation by subjecting heckard to harassment of disconfort of unplesant feelings, and permanent injury by denying heckard the right to live a normal life," his suit reads -- verbatim, including misspellings and the lack of capitalization of his own name. "Heckard base his legal claim on the fact that Michael Jordan high profile life style with the contributed of Phil H. Knight help has infected an injury upon his life style that, according to every reasonable probability, will continue throughout the remainder of his life."

Heckard complains that whenever he goes out in public, "people are continally on a daily base harassing him of looking like Michael Jordan. Thses unpleasant feeling from the public has trouble heckard nerves and denied him the right to a peace of mind for at least 15-years or more."

So what does the Nike founder have to do with this? "Since Phil H. Knight signed Michael Jordan to a lucrative endorsement contract, give him his own television commercial and shoe, blow him up larger than life, now people are continually harassing heckard of looking like Michael Jordan on a daily base."

That, he says, "has cause heckard to suffer pain and stress, mentally, and emotionally due to the harassment from the public of harassing him of looking like Michael Jordan."

Well gee, what would fix that terrible problem that so many other enjoy or even profit from? Money, of course, and lots of it: "Heckard request the Court to grant compensatory damage against Michael Jordan in the amount of $52,000,000.00 dollars for defamation and permanent injury" -- plus "Punitive damage for emotional pain and suffering in the amount of 364,000,000.00" (presumably dollars). That's right: $52 million for actual damages plus $364 million in punitive damages, or $416 million. From Jordan alone. He asks the same from Knight, for a grand total of $832 million.

"We don't believe the suit to have merit and will move to dismiss it," said a Nike spokeswoman. Yeah, the suit is obviously stupid.

Yeah, it'll obviously be thrown out. But yeah, Jordan and Knight have to hire lawyers to GET it thrown out. What a pathetic waste of time, money, and court attention.

PhLaXuS said:
Lots of people look like celebrities. That's genetics. It's going to happen. If you're so insecure or hate your life so much that it bothers you, deal with it. My name's Luke and damn near EVERY SINGLE PERSON I've met for my entire life has the obligatory "I'm your father..." moment. Should I sue them because George Lucas has more money than me? Maybe because He Brought This Upon Meeeee! FUCK NO! I could use the money, but I'm not that petty. This is yet another inane rambing from some dumbfuck trying to get a piece of the pie. He didn't earn it. He doesn't deserve it. He's trying to 'legally steal' the money from Michael Jordan. End of fucking story. Whenever I hear such things, there's usually someone around who's not from the States who's surprised at the new depths of fucktardishness that we've fallen to here. We're so obsessed with money. It's our god and we want more.