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low_culture

low_culture

New York, NY
April 2006

JUN 10, 2006 11:43 AM

According to Egotastic, perhaps better known to my close peers and socia-climbing acquaintances as my absolute favoritest website ever, "In Touch magazine has declared that Scarlett Johansson has the best breasts in Hollywood."

Now, I don't read In Touch, but it's news like this that really starts me thinking I should rephrase that clause: I don't read In Touch...yet! If the publication has content like this – reader polls assessing various celebrities and their worthwhile attributes – it's something I really ought to look into.

The way I see it, these celebrities enter into a social contract with us when they become famous, and we're subsequently entitled to gauge them as the objects of worthwhile amusement that they then become. So, here we go: I'm getting in touch with my object-worship tendencies!

Here's my tribute to you, the readers:

Vestril

Vestril

Coronado, CA
February 2003

JUN 10, 2006 11:47 AM

I don't see how they can make the call when they still haven't been fully bared. More in depth examination seems called for.

sixbysix

sixbysix

United Kingdom
December 2004

JUN 10, 2006 11:52 AM

Indeed. I hear she has no nipples.

Still fucking gorgeous, though.

Cigarette

Cigarette

Cleveland, OH
April 2004

JUN 10, 2006 11:55 AM

sixbysix said:
Indeed. I hear she has no nipples.

Still fucking gorgeous, though.



That's what they say about O. She lost 'em in 'Nam.

TheG

TheG

Somerville, MA
February 2004

JUN 10, 2006 11:59 AM

Sweet god, just show them already!

RunsWithSkizzers

RunsWithSkizzers

Apo, AE
March 2006

JUN 10, 2006 12:20 PM

God I wish I had breasts like that...

I'm such a peice of shit.

I want ice cream.

blixabargeld

blixabargeld

Germany
February 2005

JUN 10, 2006 12:39 PM

did anybody think her lips suddenly got fatter in "match point?" it distracted me for most of the movie. then again, i really like seeing things that aren't there.

Roaring_Tulips

roaring_tulips

Jacksonville, FL
April 2006

JUN 10, 2006 02:32 PM

Actually, her lips seemed impossibly fat in "Lost In Translation" to me, but she was quoted as being all for plastic surgery.

Dignan

Dignan

Fargo, ND
OLD SKOOL

JUN 10, 2006 03:40 PM

when will someone start the 24/hr a day johansen breast channel?

glennnnnnnn

glennnnnnnn

Australia
January 2006

JUN 10, 2006 09:37 PM

Dignan said:
when will someone start the 24/hr a day johansen breast channel?


I'll do it this arvy. wink

thestral

thestral

Manassas, VA
August 2005

JUN 12, 2006 09:04 AM

Hurray for boobies and objectification? YES! HURRAY!

Subrosa

Subrosa

San Francisco, CA
July 2004

JUN 12, 2006 09:23 AM

Dibs.

SmellsLikeSciFi

SmellsLikeSciFi

Houston, TX
April 2004

JUN 12, 2006 03:44 PM

Two words...and they're phonetic.

wull, yeah

xani

xani

Charlottesville, VA
May 2006

JUN 12, 2006 05:29 PM

wtf is this? its not very pretty to see member pick at beautiful girls. some of your readers are a 38c also... hmmm... "to the readers"? i dunno if i should be flattered or punch you in the guts. shallow men.

Cigarette

Cigarette

Cleveland, OH
April 2004

JUN 12, 2006 05:35 PM

whatonearth said:
wtf is this? its not very pretty to see member pick at beautiful girls. some of your readers are a 38c also... hmmm... "to the readers"? i dunno if i should be flattered or punch you in the guts. shallow men.



what?

xani

xani

Charlottesville, VA
May 2006

JUN 12, 2006 05:42 PM

i have mixed feelings towards blatant objectification... better then that.
anger and joy... that was a silly post. i feel shame... um...

i liked Girl with a Pearl Earring... she did a great adaptation of the book.

toothpickmoe

toothpickmoe

Los Angeles, CA
May 2004

JUN 12, 2006 06:02 PM

Subrosa said:
Dibs.



Margot_Dent

Margot_Dent

Los Angeles, CA
February 2004

JUN 12, 2006 06:12 PM

whatonearth said:
i have mixed feelings towards blatant objectification... better then that.
anger and joy... that was a silly post. i feel shame... um...

i liked Girl with a Pearl Earring... she did a great adaptation of the book.



you're on a porn site.

xani

xani

Charlottesville, VA
May 2006

JUN 12, 2006 06:20 PM

im also submissive and quite gullibile obviously.
whatever, i just felt bad for her

guyincognito

GuyIncognito

Minneapolis, MN
September 2004

JUN 12, 2006 06:29 PM

RunsWithSkizzers said:
God I wish I had breasts like that...

I'm such a peice of shit.

I want ice cream.



there, there. :: pats runwithskizzers head ::

ice cream for all all the good little boys and girls...

thestral

thestral

Manassas, VA
August 2005

JUN 13, 2006 05:26 AM

Margot_Dent said:

whatonearth said:
i have mixed feelings towards blatant objectification... better then that.
anger and joy... that was a silly post. i feel shame... um...

i liked Girl with a Pearl Earring... she did a great adaptation of the book.



you're on a porn site.



You fail to see the difference between seeing entire naked girls and seeing extreme close-ups of just one part of their body along with the rating of "best b00bies 3v4r!"?

Anton

Anton

Australia
September 2003

JUN 13, 2006 06:15 AM

whatonearth said:
wtf is this? its not very pretty to see member pick at beautiful girls. some of your readers are a 38c also... hmmm... "to the readers"? i dunno if i should be flattered or punch you in the guts. shallow men.


Wow, about a third of the way into that message and I knew it was you. Good on you for developing such a distinctive writing style.

In other news, In Style clearly knows what's what.

JessykaAddams

JessykaAddams

Australia
April 2006

JUN 13, 2006 08:14 PM

I love my boobs. Scarlett Johannsen aint nothin' wink

formerviking

formerviking

Denver, PA
May 2006

JUN 13, 2006 08:18 PM

JessykaAddams said:
I love my boobs. Scarlett Johannsen aint nothin' wink



I for one demand visual proof .

JessykaAddams

JessykaAddams

Australia
April 2006

JUN 13, 2006 08:19 PM

Damned lighting in net cafes....poor quality cameraphone...watch this space.

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