NEWS: Crazed Dolphins, Powdered Noses, Prenups, and Water Guns: Celeb Scrapple for Friday, June 9th

CELEB: Crazed Dolphins, Powdered Noses, Prenups, and Water Guns: Celeb Scrapple for Friday, June 9th

LOHAN REALLY INTO "POWDERING" HER NOSE

Lindsay Lohan blew any chance she had of appearing on the cover of Vogue when she pissed off the editor, notorious bi-atch Anna Wintour. Lohan was seated at Wintour’s table during the CFDA awards this week, and unnerved Wintour by getting up to whiz a few times too many.

I invite you to make your best “powder her nose…with cocaine!” joke.




Lagerfeld and Lohan

JESSICA ALBA SEDUCES DOLPHINS

Jessica Alba gave a recent dissertation on the art of seducing of dolphins. The actress had a run in with the “horny little bitches” while filming the television series “Flipper.”

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HEATH LEDGER CRIES, SELLS HOME

The depths of Heath Ledger’s emotion astounded even the harshest critics. The actor’s father admitted his son cried like a little girl after being squirted with water guns by photographers at the Australian premiere of his film Brokeback Mountain.

While Ledger’s story broke our hearts, please remember why the photographers pulled the water gun stunt—they were angry at Ledger for repeatedly spitting at them during the actor’s “bad boy” phase.

Ledger eventually sold his Australian home, relocating to Brooklyn, NY with his girlfriend Michelle Williams, and their young daughter, Matilda.




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KATIE CASHES IN

Since popping out baby Suri a few weeks ago, Katie Holmes forged ahead with plans for her sham-marriage to Tom Cruise. The two have hammered out details for a prenuptial agreement which would entitle Holmes $3 million for every year she’s forced to endure Cruise’s crazy ass.

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I tell people dolphins are assholes and people look at me all weird. Thank you Jessica Alba,, for bringing the truth to life, and for having a dynamite ass.

That's some pretty sweet Scrapple right there, Dude.

Oh, meow! Who knew celebrity gossip could be so fun?

No surprise on the Tomkat prenup.

The man has to PAY a woman to stay married to him.

[Edited on Jun 09, 2006 11:52AM]

I'm not sure which is better--Jessica Alba's ass, or the weird look on Holmes' face.

What the fuck am I thinking--Alba.

She had to powder her nose.......with cocaine!!!

Maybe she had a UTI.

A UTI.......of cocaine!!!

Or the runs.

Exactly how long has Lagerfeld been dead now?

"Hey, Karl Lagerfeld, please ask Lindsay Lohan to stop doing cocaine!"

"Hey, Hamburglar, please ask Wimpy to stop eating hamburgers!"

"Hey, OJ, please ask Robert Blake to stop killing wives!"

"Hey, Uwe Boll, please tell Michael Bay to stop making bad movies!"

[Edited on Jun 09, 2006 by PointBlank]

i think any mammal would have the same problem with "alba in the pool"

That dolphin costume was worth every penny.

Too bad Jessica Alba never read Dolphin Sex dot org! (R.I.P.) That's how the rest of the world learned about the dastardly scourge of horny dolphins. Education, folks!

.....Shudder.....

Heath Ledger is a little prissy wuss. I can't believe he was crying because all the boys were squiting him and making fun. Its just not far, poor little rich bastard.

Somebody tell Karl Lagerfeld that Billy Idol wants his glove back.

Male dolphins will also kidnap female dolphins and basically rape them. Sick fucks. Now excuse my while I put powder in my nose.

Best. Celeb-Scrapple-Newswire-Comment-Thread. Ever.

Christ. Why are dolphins such fucking rapist assholes? What is their fucking problem?

Well, dolphins do it like every two minutes...but it only lasts about 10 seconds. So, those she complained about might have been the entire deal for the dolphin.

Kim Ledger reckons that that story about Heath crying over the phone is bullshit.

To put Heath's life back in Australia (Perth specifically) into context you need to realise the majority of us here pull the everloving piss out of him whenever he's spotted. It's kind of a tradition we have with celebrities. "Tall poppy syndrome".

About two years ago at work I told Kim he should disinherit Heath for making "Sin Eater". He took it as a joke and it was all good. I think Heath has just lost track of his "ordinary guy" factor. Kind of like Russel Crowe, just before he vanished up his own arse.