NEWS: OJ Simpson Sex Tape?

CELEB: OJ Simpson Sex Tape?

With all the atrocities committed throughout American history, it’s hard to imagine another in our very own lifetime. But guess what…another smear on America’s image; celebrity sex tape broker David Hans Schmidt released a sex tape featuring OJ Simpson banging two broads. I know you’re shocked that an honorable citizen like OJ would ever film himself in such a compromising position, but it appears to be true.

The twenty-five minutes of scorching video shows Simpson, his ex-girlfriend Christie Prody, and a prostitute engaging in very enthralling conversations.

Simpson’s attorney Yale Galanter stated his client appears in the video, but only in the clothed portions, and the dude banging Simpson’s ex and the hooker, "is an imposter."

Schmidt claimed he obtained the tape from an “off-shore sex tape provider.” He offered the nasty vid for $19.95 from www.badoj.com, but buyer beware: OJ may profit from the sale. In 2001, the Globe reported OJ’s plan to make a video, with his earnings deposited into an offshore bank so he wouldn’t lose them to the estates of Ron Goldman and Nichole Brown Simpson.

Where's Johnnie Cochrane when you need him?

And I thought sex tapes hit rock-bottom after the Fred Durst debacle.

there wasn't much funnier or creepy than that sex tape.

It wasn't me! I was out trying to find the real fucker!

And Johnnie Cochrane died of a brain tumor last year...

OJ Simpson: "I didn't believe in sex addicts until my last few girlfriends, now I'm a sexaholic!”

Christie: “I am too.”

OJ Simpson: “If I'm not sexually active, I become destructive."

Christie: “I mean, we’re totally happy together, but sometimes it’s like, I like threesomes!”

Prostitute: “Let’s fuck!”



This might be the most hilarious exchange of words ever in the history of mankind.

I smell a scam here. Like that whole "Juiced" tape that was announced a while back, I can't believe that Simpson won't get anything out of it. It'll just be funneled through the Caymans for him.

Don't spend one cent on anything with this fucker's name on it. I fully endorse piracy in this particular example.

Mister Cochrane, he dead.

They're saying he used a stunt cock?

(insert wildly inappropriate "If it doesn't fit, you must acquit" joke here)

'DOH!

Beaten to the punch by one post.

[Edited on Jun 04, 2006 by Subrosa]

And he's not really touching those womens' breasts! That's all... special effects!

Snuff film...?

Thank you for not including a picture with this one.

What I thought exactly!

_DictionaryGirl_ said:

Subrosa said:

CocoabutteR said:

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

-TM

uhmm, wrong on so many levels

im not interested unless the girls are using a strap-on on that murderer. man those women are taking their lives into the juice's hands. look what destructive behavior he had when nichole was tired of fucking him. someone buy these freaks a clue. (z)

i figured there would be a pun about how he's giving them "the juice"

So he went up to a hotel room with his girlfriend and a hooker, had drinks, unzipped his pants, and then ... didn't have sex with either of them?

Yeah, I buy that.

“off-shore sex tape provider.”

Now there's a promising career opportunity for today's youth. Sailing the high seas, peddling blurry videos of drunk and naked minor celebrities...

I wonder what qualifications you need to break into that glamorous profession. His parents must be so proud.

[Edited on Jun 05, 2006 5:00PM]

Yes, but does he kill them at the end?