NEWS: Steven Seagal's Thundering Coming Out Party

CELEB: Steven Seagal's Thundering Coming Out Party

Just when you thought Steven Seagal couldn’t get any freakin’ worse, he does what all second rate actors do: start a band (thusly inviting bashing comments from correspondents like yours truly). I’m going to tell you the name of Stevie's band in an earnest attempt to protect you from the horrific sounding musical monstrosities of this modern day Pillsbury Dough Boy.

Drum roll, please...And the winner (read: loser) is: THUNDERBOX!

That's right, THUNDERBOX is their name (and the likes of Helen Keller is the audience they're sure to gain). Just take a good look at Steven’s legendary guitar face. I seriously don’t know if he is playing music or taking in the Texas dirt star from drummer Simon Cowl (not pictured). Whether Steven has a newfound career or just a hankering for strumming a guitar in front of a crowd of paraplegic shemales beats me, but no matter what, I urge you never, EVER—under any circumstances—to purchase a THUNDERBOX ticket or album. What’s left of your manhood depends on it.



(Hat Tip: Defamer)

Oh my god...

Best music EVER

yeah, i knew that segal had a band, but i hadn't seen pics of him playing. haha.

Hes obviously the

of Japan.

wow. just........wow.

I recall him on some award show once introducing a lie performance by somebody like Eric Clapton or Eddie Van Halen. He strayed from the teleprompted script to mention that he is himself "an accomplished guitarist." He wasn't joking. I think he thought somebody would run up and beg him to play the guitar he probably had sitting just offstage.

one of his songs is called 'Talk to my Ass'

I went to the UCLA Reggae festival twice, and one of the bands would always invite him up on stage to do a song with them while wearing a dashiki. It was pretty comical.

Why is he dressed like Prince?

steven segal fuckin kicks ass. im suprised you have the balls to write what you wrote. thats messed up. i bet you werent in new orleans after katrina, in a sheriffs uniform, NO REASON. anyway, i wouldnt fuck with the guy. he can break peoples arms with his doggie-paddle style.

dear god people! he's got a song named Talk to my Ass!!!

"gardens"? is that some bar or something?

Well Steven Segal was an annoying shitty actor who made annoying shitty movies.
Since I see a patern starting to develope from those last two statements, I'll happily avoid his band and music.

Wow. Well, I went to the site and listened to the samples. His music was better than I thought it would be, but that's not saying much 'cause I thought it would suck bigtime. I wouldn't buy this particular CD though. It seems over produced to me, and the background vocals are just too much. If you like blues, please check out the samples before buying this. It doesn't hold up to good blues in my mind.

psht! mayeb you should star in your own movie. you can call it 'hard to please'.

He looks like he's constipated in a couple of them.

I here he's gonna tour with Bruce Willis and Don Johnson.

He is certainly th ejowliest action star I've ever seen.

Hasselhoff...??

[Edited on Jun 01, 2006 by beaky]

oh my god, all my dreams have come true!

Saw him the other day, in Portland.

Saw, not listened to.

He and his posse were getting out of a couple of tour buses... and it looked like he was carrying a spare posse under his jacket.

The man isn't particularly svelte, nowadays.

The end has come folks...

Read it and weep.

Two pairs of legs? Two pairs of hands? Two pairs of eyes?

WTFuckingF?

Well, he actually swallowed Jean Claude VanDamme whole, but couldn't kill his martial spirit.

So now they share one body. Fortunately, there's plenty of room.

The man is a genie ass.