Miami Heat star Shaquille ONeal has spent his spare lately time busting perps. The seven-foot-tall basketball center became a certified U.S. marshal, assisting in over thirty child porn arrests.
"I do not have to run after the people or tackle them. They always surrender peacefully," Shaq recently told Webster Hall's Baird Jones. "And I'm never afraid. When I arrive, they are really already under arrest." Shaq says he's not in it for the glory. "I am not a hero . . . My father was my hero growing up. He was an Army drill sergeant and an FBI agent."
In other Shaq news, he and wife Shaunie welcomed a new daughter earlier this month. The latest, Me'arah Sanaa O'Neal, increased the clan-count to four children. Good job with the arrests, and congrats on coming up with a new, fucked up baby name.
PARIS BOYCOTTS HER OWN PREMIERE
In a fit of irony, Paris Hilton snubbed her own movie premiere because of nudity in the film. Although Hilton starred in her very own porno, One Night In Paris, Hilton boycotted the Cannes Film Festivals showing of her new flick, National Lampoons Pledge This, because the filmmakers added nudity to the final cut of the film.
She says, "I'm angry that they edited the final cut without my permission. I took the part on the assurance I wouldn't do any nudity. I wanted to do something where I'd be taken seriously, and they added a load of scenes with naked girls. I was so angry I snubbed my own premiere."
No word yet if her co-star Simon Rex, the ex-MTV VJ and part-time gay porn star, made it to the premiere.
MILLA IS READY TO GET OLD
Perennial hot chick Milla Jovovich recently claimed to be fine with turning 30 years old this year. Milla explained she already experienced an age-induced freak out when she turned 22, because she thought her life was almost over.
She explains, "I went through my crisis at 22. I remember when I was 16 how I looked at 30-year-olds, like, 'Your life is so over.' Suddenly I'm the girl I used to make fun of. On the other hand, I was insecure, angry and confused with the world at 22. Not I don't feel any pressure to be the hot young thing. I can relax and be myself. It's been awesome."
She says, "I'm angry that they edited the final cut without my permission. I took the part on the assurance I wouldn't do any nudity. I wanted to do something where I'd be taken seriously, and they added a load of scenes with naked girls. I was so angry I snubbed my own premiere."
and she decided that NATIONAL LAMPOON'S PLEDGE THIS was a good vehicle for her dramatic debut?!?
She says, "I'm angry that they edited the final cut without my permission. I took the part on the assurance I wouldn't do any nudity. I wanted to do something where I'd be taken seriously, and they added a load of scenes with naked girls. I was so angry I snubbed my own premiere."
and she decided that NATIONAL LAMPOON'S PLEDGE THIS was a good vehicle for her dramatic debut?!?
err...ok.
no, national lampoon's pleadge this is her FURTHERING her dramatic career, haha, she decided that HOUSE OF WAX was a good vehicle...and if her dramatic career is any vehicle, it is def. an edsel..
The only vehicle to further her career should be a macktruck smacking her in her ugly horse-like face. And by further, I mean spreading further. along the road. at high speed.
Bitter that no-talent fucks get money?
Very.
Maraxia said:
The only vehicle to further her career should be a macktruck smacking her in her ugly horse-like face. And by further, I mean spreading further. along the road. at high speed.
Bitter that no-talent fucks get money?
Very.
i've got my money on that she just fucking forgot that the premiere was even happening and whipped up this excuse when it was presented to her in the morning. or afternoon. when does she wake up?
She says, "I'm angry that they edited the final cut without my permission. I took the part on the assurance I wouldn't do any nudity. I wanted to do something where I'd be taken seriously, and they added a load of scenes with naked girls. I was so angry I snubbed my own premiere."
and she decided that NATIONAL LAMPOON'S PLEDGE THIS was a good vehicle for her dramatic debut?!?
err...ok.
Moreover, NATIONAL LAMPOON'S PLEDGE THIS was debuting at Cannes?!
I dont understand... Paris is mad that they did a final cut adding nudity in. She took the part saying she would do nudity... and she didnt. They added in some other women being naked. So ummmm what the fuck is the big deal.
I totally respect Shaq. I saw him one time on Conan (or somesuch) and the host asked him why he had turned down a multimillion dollar endorsment deal with Wheaties, and Shaq just shrugged and said, completey honestly it seemed, "I don't like Wheaties". Now that is a class act my friends.
She says, "I'm angry that they edited the final cut without my permission. I took the part on the assurance I wouldn't do any nudity. I wanted to do something where I'd be taken seriously, and they added a load of scenes with naked girls. I was so angry I snubbed my own premiere."
and she decided that NATIONAL LAMPOON'S PLEDGE THIS was a good vehicle for her dramatic debut?!?
err...ok.
Moreover, NATIONAL LAMPOON'S PLEDGE THIS was debuting at Cannes?!
It was bumped into the screening schedule after the Cannes film committee didn't receive the final cut of "Porky's 4" in time.
She says, "I'm angry that they edited the final cut without my permission. I took the part on the assurance I wouldn't do any nudity. I wanted to do something where I'd be taken seriously, and they added a load of scenes with naked girls. I was so angry I snubbed my own premiere."
and she decided that NATIONAL LAMPOON'S PLEDGE THIS was a good vehicle for her dramatic debut?!?
Alyk
Boston, MA
February 2005
MAY 31, 2006 07:36 AM