NEWS: Fashion Suicide (May 28): Some People Really Know How to Have a Good Time

CULTURE: Fashion Suicide (May 27): Some People Really Know How to Have a Good Time

Is there anything more uplifting, more inspiring, more filled with pure promise and possibility than the start of a long, holiday weekend? Surely not for the urbane urbanites pictured below. Can't you just see them brimming with excitement and joy? A jaunt upstate, or out to the Hamptons, or maybe just three whole, luxurious days lolling about in the park! You don't see their absolute elation? No? Okay, well, neither do I, but surely they're smiling on the inside.


Animals As Accessories

I'm fascinated by the whole "animals as accessories" trend that has swept the nation in the wake of Paris Hilton's awful rise to fame. I admit that I'm growing tired of the whole Chihuahua, Lhasa Apso, Rat Terrier look, and much prefer a shoulder-perched parrot or an actual boa constrictor boa, so the first thing that caught my eye about this guy's outfit was how he was unapologetically going against the grain of contemporary "animals as accessories" fashion. Rather than carry his bulldog in a tote bag, he attaches it to a thick, shiny chain, which amplifies his masculinity and doubles as bling. His shirt is pretty cool, too: he actually sewed the skull on himself. Incidentally, I'm pretty sure the dog turned its back and refused to have its face photographed for one or all of the following three reasons:

1. Because he is Amish.
2. Because he is on the lam.
3. Because he didn't want to risk accidentally looking the woman below in the eye and inadvertantly pissing her off.


Namibia Is For Pansies

Meet Angelina Jolie's bitter, bastard half-sister. Every aspect of her outfit is symbolic: even her shoes are green with envy. This self-appointed Freedom Fighter has a message for us all, and it can be read and understood by analyzing her outfit. There are her heavily mirrored aviator sunglasses, to hide her eyes (red and puffy from crying for the fate of humankind) and more importantly to reflect back at the world its absurd preoccupation with trivialities...like the private life of her half-sister! There's the black that she's sheathed in, because yes, she's mourning for all of our lost souls. There are the birds on her bag: blood red because they are doves of peace that have been mercilessly shot out of the sky. And finally, tying it all together, the pièce de résistance: her Palestinian Support Scarf, which actually just confuses me. I never know what, exactly, to make of those. That doesn't take away, however, from the fact that this shit-kickin' chick is smokin' hot and doing it her way. And God Bless America for that.

reagan i love you

Angelina Jolie's bitter, bastard half-sister's bag is from H&M and probably made in a sweatshop. She's a hypocrit of the worst kind. Bwahaha.

Your street photos are better than mine and I hate you for it

oh come on.
its funny.


[Edited on May 27, 2006 9:02PM]