BRANDON DAVIS IS TOTALLY SORRY

Brandon Davis released an official apology for his recent fire crotch statements. Apparently, the crazy lady who followed him around demanding that he take a shower laid some guilt on the ultra-greasy Davis for criticizing Lindsay Lohans vagina. Davis previously insisted Lohan has freckles coming out of her vagina and her clitoris is 7 feet long."

"My behavior on May 16 was inexcusable," Davis says in a statement that sounds like he had some help in writing. "What started out as a joke got completely carried away and I am horrified at the words that came out of my mouth. I consider Lindsay a friend and I hope she accepts my sincere apology for my reprehensible actions last week."

Congratulations to Davis for getting a publicist with some sense. Cross your fingers and hope for an apology from Davis partner-in-crime, Paris Hilton.

Sweaty Brandon and ex-girlfriend Mischa Barton.

~Alyk

WOW, TERI HATCHER IS ONE HELL OF A BITCH

Actress Teri Hatcher's character on "Desperate Housewives" is always going out of her way to seem sweet and mostly well-meaning, but apparently in real life Hatcher has fallen short of the mark. Soon after getting her curent role, Hatcher left her long-time manager, Eli Seldon. The classless part is that Seldon had been diagnosed with breast cancer.

One source says Hatcher "left Eli because she told her, 'You can't focus on me right now during this important time in my life,' " but another source said: "I think it has more to do with Teri didn't want to be reminded of how she used to be nobody."

Either way, that's kind of not just a little shitty.

~lilyk

KATE MOSS FREAKS OUT, DOES KARATE

Kate Moss handed out yet another ass-kicking this week (her previous victim: ex-boyfriend Pete Doherty) when she put down some karate moves on a photographer in London. Were not sure what the photog did to offend, perhaps he attempted to steal her stash, but Miss Moss was not in the mood.

She suddenly deviated from her head-down, walk directly to destination routine whilst being followed by a paparazzo, and appeared to adopt a kung fu-style kick.

It didn't connect with the photographer but, once safely inside her mate's front garden, she turned round and gave him a stern telling-off - complete with finger wag.

Photo Location

~Alyk

MC_Dove

Cincinnati, OH

November 2004

MAY 27, 2006 10:07 AM

brandon, why are you so fucking sweaty? maybe moving that implant-laden face while you're running your mouth is far more work than one would think.

LokisChild

USA

March 2005

MAY 27, 2006 10:09 AM

kate moss needs to cut down a little on the coke and eat a damn sammich.

CaptainTact

Philadelphia, PA

January 2004

MAY 27, 2006 10:23 AM

I think that Kate Moss story is hilarious and awesome.

projectnova

San Francisco, CA

July 2002

MAY 27, 2006 11:32 AM

has this site turned into entertainment tonight? what's up with all f the celeb stories? seriously, who cares?

BixbyGrendel

Saskatoon, SK

August 2005

MAY 27, 2006 11:39 AM

This whole article just proves it. Celebrities just keep getting uglier and uglier.

CheshireCat

Los Angeles, CA

January 2004

MAY 27, 2006 11:58 AM

what a fucking loser......seriously if your going to throw shit out of your mouth then stand by it and dont be a pussy.What he said showed the level of his intellect but to backtrack about it is just spineless......and if I were Kate I would kick any fucking photagrapher getting in my face without my permission...

FrankMask

Saint Paul, MN

June 2003

MAY 27, 2006 12:06 PM

Dude! Anti-Paparazzi Kung-Fu! Awesome!