NEWS: Fashion Suicide (May 23): The Rain-Soaked Streets of New York

CULTURE: Fashion Suicide (May 23): The Rain-Soaked Streets of New York

This vacationer from Atlanta brought her southern roots with her by sporting tons of watermelon about her frame, including (unseen in this photo) her watermelon Paul Frank socks (The weather, of course, along with my own deep sense of class, prevented me from making a "Hotlanta" crack).





When strolling about the city, I usually find myself shaking my head in pity at lost little girls who don't know how to wear stripes...but that's not the case for this lovely lady. She understands that stripes should go up and down, and not side to side, to make you look slimmer.

She also seemed to inherently understand that this Urban Outfitters shirt was made for hussies, strumpets, and trollops, so I give her props on integrating the wife beater...It's kind of like she's role-playing both sides of a lowbrow marital dispute, and I think you'll agree that she pulls it off nicely.



This aspiring pre-school teacher is pouting because little children keep screaming and running away from her, and she can't figure out why. She offers them gum, and really just wants to read them Lemony Snicket books, but one look at her scary clown bag and it's all over.



I walked right past this chick at first, but then reversed my steps after noticing her bag made of bedsheets. I'm a bag lady, you see, and I love that she can wear an outfit that everyone around her is wearing, but change the whole ensemble with one little detail. Talk about turning lemons into lemonade, by the way--she wet the bed as a little girl, effectively ruining her favorite set of sheets, but instead of tossing them out or handing them over to Goodwill, her grandma got creative and sewed this little number up.

Okay, that's a lie, and a weird one at that. She actually gave me the URL of the girl who makes these bags for a relatively cheap price, but it doesn't seem to be working anymore. Bummer...I need to put a Treo on my expense account so I can check these sorts of links in real time.



I came across this lass walking down 14th street with her boyfriend. They were both wearing bandito bandanas around their necks, and, miraculously, both pulling it off. (I know when someone pulls this off, because I don't laugh and say things like 'Howdy, pardner! You got a hitch in yer giddyup? Mind if a snap a fo...toh....?')

Instead of stacking her extra shit into a trash bag and walking around like a bum (as I would have done), she came prepared with a cute zebra print bag that clashed with her outfit just perfectly.

It's like bringing a touch of Africa to a She Wants Revenge show, and somehow, inexplicably, it just works.