NEWS: Lindsay Lohan Has a "Fire Crotch"

CELEB: Lindsay Lohan AKA "Fire Crotch"

Sweaty trustafarian/hanger-on Brandon Davis gave the paparazzi a major money shot this week. Photographers followed Davis and the Hilton sisters around Hollywood as Davis unleashed a nasty torrent of euphemisms regarding Lindsay Lohan and her vagina. I have no idea how Davis would know that Lohan’s vag “smells like diarrhea,” but he states this and other graphic details with great confidence.

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Along with being a Hilton sister lap dog, Davis’ impressive resume includes being the ex-boyfriend of Mischa Barton, and the grandson of billionaire oil tycoon Marvin Davis.

i dunno if this says more about lindsey or more about mr. what's-his-name, but it's funnier than hell.

well at 7 feet it shouldn't be hard to get her off at least.

I don't even like Lindsay Lohan and I'm insulted by this. When is it right to go around telling reporters horribly graphic insults about someone else's privates? I don't care if she's fucked half of America and she's desperately trying to be someone she's not. That doesn't make it right.

Huh... She must've turned him down or something. What a tool.

I can't get the needed plugin to install in FireFox... I wanted to see how arrogant this guy was.

This guy is a fucking moron. How is this news? Atypical neuvoriche douchebag and he and Skeletor...I mean Paris Hilton make the perfect combo of idiocy.

Or

Obviously he has rabies.

In other news.

Lindsey Lohan has not slept with the half of America that I am in.

Additionally, I'm more than willing to take a look at her genitals and report back to the world in an honest fashion. I can be totally non-biased in my assesment, since I know very little about her and really have no opinion. However, I do like freckles.

do you click on the celeb articles specifically to ask this question? you seem like a masochist to me.

This guy is the same guy who said he wouldn't hang out with Paris Hilton because she was a racist.

Thats pretty much the reason why I don't hang out with Paris Hilton either...

What does that even mean to have a vagina like an orange tree? Does she eminate tasty pulpy drinkable treats that are Florida-orchard-fresh or something? Is she on tap? Can we bottle her for mass consumption?







(Because if we can, I call dibs on the patent.)

Yup, he's real stand up kind of guy.

I cannot wait for fame or infamy so that I can talk shit about people I do not like in front of the camera;at least Lohan is a good actress and not a hanger on trust fun kid. I have nothing against Paris Hilton , I mean she is hot and I would do her but what exactly does she do that has any significance beyond her wealth status....?? I bet she is fun to party with if your in her loop but really she has no particular talent which makes her stick out beyond that;which may make her the perfekt sex symbol of the Bush zeitgeist era.

No I come here to hear your wit and witicism......

I'm afraid that the Wit and Witticism Division is located on floor 11, at the Redundant Department of Redundancy Bureau. Take a right turn off the elevator and then go right.

I don't know who Mischa Barton is.

Curse you! Curse you to hell or The O.C whichever is closer....


MISCHA BARTON

Celebs? These are celeberities? Welcome home Satan.

he's a jew? ugh. what an embarassment to the tribe.

But please no, not to The O.C.!

Hilarious!!! You win!

Absolutely nothing. She's a mean, spoiled, talentless hack and is about as close as anyone can get to being completely worthless.