NEWS: Jordan Kidnapping Plot!

CELEB: Jordan Kidnapping Plot!

Jordan, a big-titted broad from the U.K., famous for freely displaying the aforementioned basketball-sized tits and sharing her homemade sex tapes, faced a crisis recently when police discovered a plot to kidnap her two children.

Jordan, along with her trashy backup-dancer husband Peter Andre, reportedly took immediate precautions, such as installing a home security system and hiring a bodyguard.

This is an unfortunate situation, but I think the puzzling part of this story is, does Jordan actually have two million dollars, and if so, how in the world did she earn it?




Jordan and Harvey

I never knew that aside from all of her other accomplishments Jordan was also the mother of the world's biggest baby.

She loves to play the media all the time like Lord and Lady Beckham , but its still abit shocking that somebody would want to do this.

Seriously. If you hadn't captioned that image, I'd have thought it was a picture of Jordan and the father.

Edit: How in God's name is that kid only three-years-old?

[Edited on May 16, 2006 3:16PM]

Obviously this wasn't a well-planned kidnapping plot. I mean, seriously, where the hell were they going to hide that kid.

I actually don't mean to make fun of the child, as he has some serious and unfortunate medical problems. I also remember reading that doctors were worried that he would die if his weight issues weren't resolved. I hope that Price has been seriously heeding those concerns.

[Edited on May 16, 2006 4:33PM]

he's probably still feeding off those repugnant tits...

Yes she does. She apparently worth £10 million ($20 million)

Thank god it wasn't Jordan Knight!

jesus christ, is the father a manatee?

ya'll know the old adage, big boobs, big kids... right?

The baby's father

Dwight Yorke

Jesus...I have two fairly average-sized kids, and those were some nasty diapers. I can't even begin to imagine what a moosie like that would drop.

*Huzzes around the room*

Jordan shuns the spotlight - there's no way this was a publicity stunt.

I thought that this was going to be about Michael Jordan.



[Edited on May 16, 2006 by Dizzy]

"He was found to be blind, having a condition known as septo-optic dysplasia, meaning that his optic nerve hadn't developed correctly." (from Wikipedia)

Jordan's kid is Teflon.

Unfortunately, Jordan is the lynchpin upon which peace in the Middle East is hinged.

she reckons she is going to be the worlds richest woman by the time she is 30. god knows how, i think everyone who wants to see her boobies now has.

liz hurleys baby was huge it was half the size of her aged like 3 months or something.

Jordan

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

FM, This is really funny.

My 'witty' switch must be in the off position today. I can't think of anything glib to add.

I love Jordan.

why do you like to hurt me?

That kid is fucking huge.

seriously though, he's not a well child.

She has much more than 2 million pounds. Believe it or not, she's actually a very shrewd businesswoman and knows how to play this country's media like her own personal violin. Also, her oldest son, Harvey is disabled, which is why he looks like he does.