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lilyk

lilyk

I'm lost
December 2004

MAY 03, 2006 09:41 AM

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes seem to make everything as large as possible with great fanfare, so now that the kidÂ’s been extracted, letÂ’s steamroll towards the wedded bliss! Well, right after they hammer out an ironclad pre-nup. Honestly, it is the first thing they have done that makes any sense.

The agreement has taken months to craft going back and forth between both parties. Regardless of a marriage occurring, Holmes and the baby will receive a $15 million trust. If she should marry Cruise and then divorce later, she will receive another $25 million. No word on the payout if Holmes should add any additional future Scientologists of America to their brood.

Now that the financial details are out of the way, the couple is rumored to have a July wedding date in mind, giving time for Holmes to shed all that baby weight. Good thing towards the end of the pregnancy she seems to shed all pregnancy signs , excepting the increasingly suspect beach ball shaped baby bump. Cruise is even financing a Scientology-approved Buff Brides regime so that Holmes can be “the most beautiful bride ever.”

HolmesÂ’ family has been vocal about their distrust of the relationship, the pregnancy, the religionÂ…pretty much the entire damn thing. Finally a source tells us that they are feeling somewhat better now that the finances are sorted. Thankfully HolmesÂ’ father, Martin, is a divorce attorney, a position which really came in handy during the pre-nupÂ’s creation.

"Katie's family have always been very sceptical about their romance. They were shocked that Katie got pregnant so quickly and didn't like the way she had turned her back on Catholicism for Scientology.

"But now this deal has been sorted out they are at least relieved that Katie and her baby will be financially secure for life, even if she doesn't marry Tom."





Photo Location

ShaggyVixe

ShaggyVixe

New Orleans, LA
November 2005

MAY 03, 2006 01:21 PM

She looks doped outta her fucking mind in that pic don'tcha think?

zoton

zoton

Kuwait
November 2005

MAY 03, 2006 01:44 PM

Sanity at last.

Eiron

Eiron

Buffalo, NY
May 2006

MAY 03, 2006 01:53 PM

The picture above is 300-times funnier if you can picture Tom Cruise saying, "I'll moidalize ya!"

Also:



Not that this is tremendously relevant, but I'd be remiss to not post this.

TheFly

TheFly

Eagle Springs, NC
November 2003

MAY 03, 2006 02:19 PM

You know, I could live the rest of my life on $1,000,000... and that's probably with the taxes taken out frown

So much for my wish that Katie would break the Scientologist bastard.

Hell, the $15 and $25 million is probably just what he'll make off of M:I 3

Menelvagor

Menelvagor

Columbus, OH
March 2004

MAY 03, 2006 02:21 PM

It's like being a witness to a slo-mo train wreck. The wheels are juuuuuuuust starting to come off of the rails...

hadees

hadees

Austin, TX
December 2003

MAY 03, 2006 02:25 PM

lilyk said:
"But now this deal has been sorted out they are at least relieved that Katie and her baby will be financially secure for life, even if she doesn't marry Tom."




She didn't make any money off her acting jobs?!?

[Edited on May 03, 2006 by hadees]

theknives

theknives

United Kingdom
February 2006

MAY 03, 2006 02:26 PM

Kate Holmes......Tom Cruise thought she should change it as Katie sounded too childlike. whatever

[Edited on May 03, 2006 by Claire0801]

Lufy

Lufy

Ithaca, NY
May 2004

MAY 03, 2006 02:46 PM

Is it me, or is the face Katie making the same one that "Bitter Beer Face" guy made to sell all that crappy beer?

rdpixie

rdpixie

United Kingdom
January 2006

MAY 03, 2006 02:48 PM

Claire0801 said:
Kate Holmes......Tom Cruise thought she should change it as Katie sounded too childlike. whatever

[Edited on May 03, 2006 by Claire0801]



Seriously? Thats ridiculous!

But shes not gonna do to badly financially outta all this!

lilyk

lilyk

I'm lost
December 2004

MAY 03, 2006 02:57 PM

TheFly said:
You know, I could live the rest of my life on $1,000,000... and that's probably with the taxes taken out frown

So much for my wish that Katie would break the Scientologist bastard.

Hell, the $15 and $25 million is probably just what he'll make off of M:I 3


Not only does he make his original salary, he makes points back from his share as a producer. It is estimated he will make more than $75 million from this project by the end of the year, depending on movie ticket sales, it could potentially be more.

Leanimal

Leanimal

Gainesville, FL
February 2005

MAY 03, 2006 03:02 PM

prenup - good for them! That's about the only nice thing I can say, so I will leave it at that. wink

hoogle

hoogle

Poughkeepsie, NY
April 2005

MAY 03, 2006 03:15 PM

you know, my man would be damn proud for me to have extra fat after having a baby. i could stay like that for the rest of my life and he'd think it was cool. who the hell does tom cruise think he is anyway? look at her in that picture. she doesn't look the least bit fat. holy shit. tom cruise is a fucking douchebag.

[Edited on May 03, 2006 6:16PM]

TheFly

TheFly

Eagle Springs, NC
November 2003

MAY 03, 2006 03:27 PM

hoogle said:
who the hell does tom cruise think he is anyway?



Uh, he's Tom Cruise. I have a feeling that soon even Scientology will be beneath him... soon he will begin to worship at the altar of Tom Cruise.

Or worse, the pathetic Hollywood Scientologists will finally accept Tom Cruise as their personal savior.


You know, folks, we can adversely affect ol' Tommers. Let's not go see his movies, let's not buy the magazines with his face on it or watch his practiced interviews. Let's pretend we don't see Tom Cruise and maybe he'll go away!!

[Edited on May 03, 2006 6:28PM]

Paul9000

Paul9000

Monterey, CA
November 2004

MAY 03, 2006 03:52 PM

Appears Tom fists awful hard.

LiquidYogi

LiquidYogi

Claremont, CA
September 2003

MAY 03, 2006 03:52 PM

at least Katie is gonna get paid for this fake marriage. Hell I'd do it for that much.

Cash

Cash

USA
OLD SKOOL

MAY 03, 2006 04:01 PM

TheFly said:
Let's not go see his movies, let's not buy the magazines with his face on it or watch his practiced interviews. Let's pretend we don't see Tom Cruise and maybe he'll go away!!



Yeah...the thing is...I already do that.
wink

Telltale

Telltale

USA
May 2004

MAY 03, 2006 04:40 PM



That is the funniest undoctored image I have ever seen.

Nokturn

Nokturn

United Kingdom
April 2006

MAY 03, 2006 05:31 PM

This one is also quite funny

Hooraydiation

Hooraydiation

Boston, MA
October 2005

MAY 03, 2006 05:42 PM

Creating your daughter's pre-nup is the new walking her down the aisle.

Newsfop

Newsfop

I'm lost
March 2006

MAY 04, 2006 04:47 AM

It's like watching a solar eclipse. It's damaging to the eyes, but dammit if it isn't interesting and unusual.

Jamwise

Jamwise

Australia
April 2006

MAY 04, 2006 05:00 AM

I still cant believe Tom Cruise is fucking Joey Potter. I refuse to.

Max16Characters

Max16Characters

Korea, Republic Of
March 2003

MAY 04, 2006 05:31 AM

When did Tom Cruise become a parody? You know the one i'm talking about--Ben Stiller's parody of Tom Cruise on SNL Celebrity Jeopardy. In retrospect, that's completely fucking spot-on!

Nokturn

Nokturn

United Kingdom
April 2006

MAY 04, 2006 12:12 PM


Chaolin saidL
I still cant believe Tom Cruise is fucking Joey Potter. I refuse to.


Does Scientology allow that kind of delinquent behaviour?
I always thought the foetus was created artificially during an abduction by face huggers from the planet Zolt, as recommended by Scientologist ministers skull

talisman

talisman

Minneapolis, MN
November 2004

MAY 04, 2006 12:53 PM

ha! good one, Lufy tongue

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