NEWS: Tom and KatieÂ’s Assload of a Pre-Nup

CELEB: Tom and Katie’s Assload of a Pre-Nup

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes seem to make everything as large as possible with great fanfare, so now that the kidÂ’s been extracted, letÂ’s steamroll towards the wedded bliss! Well, right after they hammer out an ironclad pre-nup. Honestly, it is the first thing they have done that makes any sense.

The agreement has taken months to craft going back and forth between both parties. Regardless of a marriage occurring, Holmes and the baby will receive a $15 million trust. If she should marry Cruise and then divorce later, she will receive another $25 million. No word on the payout if Holmes should add any additional future Scientologists of America to their brood.

Now that the financial details are out of the way, the couple is rumored to have a July wedding date in mind, giving time for Holmes to shed all that baby weight. Good thing towards the end of the pregnancy she seems to shed all pregnancy signs , excepting the increasingly suspect beach ball shaped baby bump. Cruise is even financing a Scientology-approved Buff Brides regime so that Holmes can be “the most beautiful bride ever.”

HolmesÂ’ family has been vocal about their distrust of the relationship, the pregnancy, the religionÂ…pretty much the entire damn thing. Finally a source tells us that they are feeling somewhat better now that the finances are sorted. Thankfully HolmesÂ’ father, Martin, is a divorce attorney, a position which really came in handy during the pre-nupÂ’s creation.

Photo Location

She looks doped outta her fucking mind in that pic don'tcha think?

Sanity at last.

The picture above is 300-times funnier if you can picture Tom Cruise saying, "I'll moidalize ya!"

Also:



Not that this is tremendously relevant, but I'd be remiss to not post this.

You know, I could live the rest of my life on $1,000,000... and that's probably with the taxes taken out

So much for my wish that Katie would break the Scientologist bastard.

Hell, the $15 and $25 million is probably just what he'll make off of M:I 3

It's like being a witness to a slo-mo train wreck. The wheels are juuuuuuuust starting to come off of the rails...

She didn't make any money off her acting jobs?!?

[Edited on May 03, 2006 by hadees]

Kate Holmes......Tom Cruise thought she should change it as Katie sounded too childlike.

[Edited on May 03, 2006 by Claire0801]

Is it me, or is the face Katie making the same one that "Bitter Beer Face" guy made to sell all that crappy beer?

Seriously? Thats ridiculous!

But shes not gonna do to badly financially outta all this!

Not only does he make his original salary, he makes points back from his share as a producer. It is estimated he will make more than $75 million from this project by the end of the year, depending on movie ticket sales, it could potentially be more.

prenup - good for them! That's about the only nice thing I can say, so I will leave it at that.

you know, my man would be damn proud for me to have extra fat after having a baby. i could stay like that for the rest of my life and he'd think it was cool. who the hell does tom cruise think he is anyway? look at her in that picture. she doesn't look the least bit fat. holy shit. tom cruise is a fucking douchebag.

[Edited on May 03, 2006 6:16PM]

Uh, he's Tom Cruise. I have a feeling that soon even Scientology will be beneath him... soon he will begin to worship at the altar of Tom Cruise.

Or worse, the pathetic Hollywood Scientologists will finally accept Tom Cruise as their personal savior.


You know, folks, we can adversely affect ol' Tommers. Let's not go see his movies, let's not buy the magazines with his face on it or watch his practiced interviews. Let's pretend we don't see Tom Cruise and maybe he'll go away!!

[Edited on May 03, 2006 6:28PM]

Appears Tom fists awful hard.

at least Katie is gonna get paid for this fake marriage. Hell I'd do it for that much.

Yeah...the thing is...I already do that.

That is the funniest undoctored image I have ever seen.

This one is also quite funny

Creating your daughter's pre-nup is the new walking her down the aisle.

It's like watching a solar eclipse. It's damaging to the eyes, but dammit if it isn't interesting and unusual.

I still cant believe Tom Cruise is fucking Joey Potter. I refuse to.

When did Tom Cruise become a parody? You know the one i'm talking about--Ben Stiller's parody of Tom Cruise on SNL Celebrity Jeopardy. In retrospect, that's completely fucking spot-on!

Does Scientology allow that kind of delinquent behaviour?
I always thought the foetus was created artificially during an abduction by face huggers from the planet Zolt, as recommended by Scientologist ministers

ha! good one, Lufy