NEWS: Paris Hilton Nearly Kills Herself

CELEB: Paris Hilton Nearly Kills Herself

Our snarkiest dreams nearly came true recently when a drunk Paris Hilton almost killed herself in a pool party accident.

The socialite threw a birthday party in honor of her Greek shipping heir boyfriend, Stavros Niarchos. While partying, a shit-faced Paris jumped into the pool after one of her genius friends dropped an outdoor lamp into the water.

In a typical Paris Hilton, anything-for-attention scheme, she then treated partygoers to a pole dance.

Man...she can't do anything right......ALMOST??? sheesh

Can you guys just stop posting stories about this woman. Please?

GOD DAMN IT! >_<

No.

damn it. so close.

i think she should try skydiving next. you know that whole "if first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you" thing....

When is she doing a gang-bang video?

Is that crazy Corey Feldman in that picture?

Doesn't that make you feel just disgusting inside? I mean drooling over every action of some socialite?

Way to propetuate one of most disgusting aspects of our culture.

A+ journalism.

shut the fuck up.

Oh. My. God. Just stop fucking reading it and whining about it. I'm sure you have better things to do. Christ.

Propetuate isn't a word.

Actually, writing every single word of celeb stories brings me sheer joy, so thank you for that. I am sure if you asked alyk she would stand by the Paris stories she has covered as well.

We don't drool over this sort of thing, but it is what we are paid to write about, so when we see a story we will cover it. If you find celebrity-based journalism to be so disgusting, I invite you to be mature about it and either not read it, or discuss it in the News group here on the site, not to complain about it in the threads.

I also give alyk's story and A+. I'm so glad we agree.

EDIT: Also, notice that I did not write this story (although I write a fair share on Paris). Very good reading skills. A+ comprehension.

[Edited on Apr 23, 2006 by lilyk]

Having sex with Tom Sizemore for drug money makes me feel disgusting inside, discussing Paris Hilton in a public forum does not.



A+ method of forcing me to post photos of Tom Sizemore.

[Edited on Apr 23, 2006 by Alyk]

Darwin weeps.

Death, no. I was hoping for one of those zany accidents you see in the movies where the electricity, pool chemicals and alcohol in her system would interact in such a way as to make her and her little dog switch bodies. That would be awesome.

I hope Paris HIlton lives as long as she desires.

nope. it's because she became famous for all the wrong reasons and sunsequently used her fame for nothing.

It's also because anybody else given the same opertunities as her would have done 10 times what she has at every level.

I like MU's song about her.

i thought that did happen! she acts that way on purpose!?! i always just assumed a brain transplant with a giant rat had occurred.

I for one can't wait til she actually does bring out a "stupid spoiled whore video playset" so we have people to mock in future generations. Let's face it, she's going to end up killing herself in some amusing way.. and when she's gone, I would love to see her clones all die in stupid ways too. Face it, it'll pass the time of day

So, she wasn't injured in any way? Just acted like a doofus while she was drunk?

I've seen worse at every party I've been to in the last year.