NEWS: Tom, Please Choke on KatieÂ’s Binky Already

CELEB: Tom, Please Choke on Katie’s Binky Already

In yet another effort to make all of us heathens grasp this whole “silent birth” thing, Tom Cruise is appearing on ABC’s “Primetime” tonight with Diane Sawyer. Cruise is apparently going to dispel all the rumors swirling around himself, his religion, basically whatever Sawyer isn’t too chicken to ask him.

Of particular interest, of course, is the traditional Scientologist birth.

Personally, I deem it birthing for the batshit insane, but you know... If Sawyer can sort out Scientology for me, someone give her a medal or a vitamin or something, because this Cruise/Holmes/Scientology media onslaught is giving me a teensy weensy headache and I know I am not the only one.

Is it me, or does she look scared? O crap, I canÂ’t judge. I donÂ’t know the history of fearÂ….but I bet TomÂ’s newborn might!



Photo Location

Hey, would everybody stop paying attention to this guy so he'll go away?

[Edited on Apr 14, 2006 5:18PM]

.....did that make sense to any body?

Thanks. I had no idea this was going to be on. I am compelled to check it out.

PS Diane Sawyer never seemed very bright to me. I don't have much faith that she's going to sort this out for us.

Tom Cruise used to be my hero.

What can't Cruise, you know, speak, you know, properly without adding, you know, every other, you know, word?

a friend pointed out to me that the babies of TomKat and Bradgelina are destined to fight it out in an end times like battle that will destroy all humans, if not all other species as well.
I pointed out, that there is an alternative prophesy that the baby of Saaarsgenhaaal will save us all...

word UP.

yes but I've had a long day and am very high.

if this is tomkats first then she'll be screaming like a banshee even with the epidural and he'll keel over from the fumes ....

I hope it gets televised.

Actually the whole thing seems kind of normal... they want the birth to be calm for the kid--makes sense to me; they understand that the mom doesn't have to follow fucking rules like "keep quiet" when she is having a kid--makes sense to me; he acknowledges that whatever drugs she needs to take she will--makes sense to me.

So what exactly did he say that was wrong in the quoted section?

Edit: I think Cruise is as crazy as anyone does, what I was suprised by in this was how level headed he seemed. Did someone re-hire his old publicist?

[Edited on Apr 14, 2006 3:18PM]

I was suprised by that too. although I think he's still looney tunes, and I find his apparent disregard for the sanctity of the english language grating, to put it mildly

Come on

Who gives a shit?

To be honest They do whatever they like.. their kid, their option

Dont get me wrong Mr Cruise is a Fruit-loop but would U like to be slated for giving birth according to ure religion.... really

Anyways i got more intresting things to do with my time then read the latest news on "The Cruises"(potenial for a new reality show)
Like watch the newly painted wall dry

my mom didn't have an epidural during any of her births?

how is that "bat shit insane", women had been doing it for hundreds of thousands of years?

what i think is "bat shit insane" is how much press this cult is getting. We are validating it's existence by paying attention to it. I'm actually really excited to watch the birth of a new religion. Hopefully one day it can go to bat with the big three. Maybe they'll build a wall around hollywood and start bombing compton.

[Edited on Apr 14, 2006 6:54PM]

Hilarious!

That very clearly explains why you read and then responded to this

Don't mock, I knew a guy who would put "n'stuff" at the beginning, middle and end of a sentence. I swear he once said to me, and I quote:

no, he wasn't kidding. That made sense to him.

But Tom Cruise makes no sense to anyone. Everyone, don't watch him, don't see his movies, stop making him believe his God or whatever likes him by granting him celebrity. If I marry and my wife has a child (I think too many would get mad if I say Me and my wife) has a child I don't give a fuck what my church, a celebrity or even her mother's said... we're gonna listen to the doctor, do what the doctor says is right and not tell him to shut the fuck up during the birth.

Everything everyone has been saying about a Scientologist birth is wrong? Cruise now sets us straight. Think now people... granted I've never been present at a birth, but who the fuck talks, says anything BESIDES the pain-filled mother?! Hell, no one talks, so each of us was born the Scientologist way.


I feel a new name will be added to Operation: Deathstrike

Obligitory LermaNet and Operation Clambake linkage.

This cult isn't getting enough press. I wish they would disappear from lack of attention, but the reality is that if no one were to pay attention, they would be even more free to pull all the evil, underhanded shit that they do.

THis kid is gonna be sooo fucked up its not even funny. Child services should take it away right after birth so they don't do any harm to it.

I lost all respect for Katie Holmes when I learned she was dating Tom Cruise. Then they got married and now having a kid.
Anyone willing to marry Tom Cruise has to be pretty fucked up in the head.
That puts Katie on the pcysho chick list.

I find it odd that Tom Cruise rallys against drugs, because drugs actually explain him better than anything else.

He rails loudest against the kind of drugs that would actually fix him, unfortunately.

I really like how the family is paying such careful attention to the experience of birthing the child, as if that's going to make the slightest difference in the child's life. That kid has been a tabloid cover, side-show, box office attraction since the moment of conception. The first thing it sees when it comes out of the womb will likely be a camera. Its whole life is going to be a soul crushing series of magazine covers, Entertainment Tonight spots, and really, really awkward moments between mom and dad after they inevitably become estranged.

I feel really, really bad for it.