NEWS: AXE Me, and Suddenly I'm the Coolest Middle Schooler You've Ever Seen (or Smelled)

CULTURE: Axe Me, and Suddenly I'm the Coolest Middle Schooler You've Ever Seen (or Smelled)

As always, we're here to report on redundant, self-fulfilling, and oh-so-obvious events transpiring in the Great American Cultural Landscape. Today's scoop? Kids are far too susceptible to advertising.

This is the primary lesson to be taken from an article that appeared in the Washington Post this past Monday. In "Teen Boys Picking Up on a Scent: Body Spray", we learn that middle schoolers have begun to perceive that wearing AXE Body Spray is as vital to their daytime wardrobe as is shaggy hair and Pumas. (Or, frankly, whatever it is that the kids are wearing nowadays...I'm a healthy 58 years old, and my kids grew up in the era of lunchboxes and overalls, so I'm not really one to talk about youth fashion. Anyways...)

Some vital nuggets about the power of AXE Body Spray according to these young boys, as clipped from the article:

Hmm, you know what? After re-reading those above quotes, I'm revising my thesis. Kids aren't simply far too susceptible to advertising, they're just...underpaid. $10? Let's give that kid a raise so he can buy something classy like, I don't know, Drakkar Noir.

(via Salon's Broadsheet)

I'm sure the marketing reps for Axe are fucking thrilled.

That stuff smells like ass.

I hate the smell of axe and I hate those stupid commercials. I'm just full of hate today aren't I?

first axe, then cigarrettes.

Ah now you're talking...memories of junior high...bad times.

Way too much Body Spray on top of pubescent "I don't know what deodorant is yet" B.O. is such a lovely pungent aroma.

I work with middle school age kids, and they are constantly buying this crap. I have to take it from them because they are not allowed to have any aerosol products in the program. So we have a locker filled with dozens of cans of the shite.

For some reason that Axe stuff seems to work. My Faince got some for christmas from a cheap relative and shortly after started working at the biggest gay club up here in Vancouver.

Being one of the only straight guys there he was always getting a little attention so I bought him a really nice colonge. One day he couldnt find it so he grabbed the Axe and sprayed it on, that night he got way more attention and lots of compliments on how nice he smelt.

He wore it from then on and used to get covered in phone numbers on the nights they worked topless *and lets jsut mention he is a skinny cute dork so not the usual type for girls up here* and ended up having a few "fun" nights with the ones that didn't mind he had a fiance who was as open as him. *So many girls thought he was jsut trying to cheat, guess when it's comming from a guy it harder to belive *

All that happend after he started wearing the Axe, nothing else was changed, and all I can say is even though he dosent think it smells that great either it does seem to work

[Edited on Apr 06, 2006 3:44PM]

I thought the axe commercials were over the top, but after hearing several androphiles rave about how good it smells, I tried some myself. I was promptly told be several women close to me that I smelled good and to keep wearing the stuff.

Maybe, just maybe, there exist people at the age of 12 who know what they're doing. I know, it's a radical hypothesis, but...

Wait... this stuff isn't cool? Neither is Drakkar?

Fuck! What am I going to wear there?

I'm an...



...man, myself.

Stupid 12 year old, getting all the eligible females.

Grumble.

it's all about wearing nothing at all. I'm sorry but if you need a scent to get someone to notice you, you're doing something wrong. natural B to the O.

If my natural funk musk isn't good enough for a woman, then to hell with her.

[Edited on Apr 06, 2006 by MrStitches]

I wear deodorant so I can smell nice, not so that people notice me. Not Axe though... I don't think they sell that over here.

well, there is one of those axe drenched douches sitting next to me in the library right now. I think he punctured the thing and dumped over himself. Yup, now I've got to leave. The AXE effect is making me throw up in my mouth.

OHHH.... Axe is Lynx in the UK and Europe... Now I know what you're on about!
I actually quite like the smell of a few types of Lynx.

My 16 year old cousin wears this shit religiously. Incidentally, he smells like armpit fat.

I love that the 12 year old is "pimpin' it for the laydeez"

my little brother wears this bullshit, and it smells like fucking hell.

it's all about this:



Ralph Lauren - Romance.

Lagerfeld, get in the mens dept. of Saks.

..then heroin

Haha I remember seeing that at the supermarket when I lived in Lisbon. I was like "What a stupid name!" So naturally I bought it. (The lady version, of course. Because I am a lady.)