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lilyk

lilyk

I'm lost
December 2004

APR 05, 2006 01:44 AM

Reports have been released that Jessica Simpson, 25, has signed on and will be starring in the movie adaptation of television’s “Baywatch.” She is supposedly being cast in Pamela Anderson’s former role as C.J. Parker.

“Jessica really caught the eye in The Dukes of Hazzard film last summer. She was the unanimous choice for the Baywatch role.”



So basically, this role called for an actress willing to be scantily clad, be blonde, and run in slow-motion? Studio executives seem to think it is a winning combination.

“Jessica has all the assets to make Pammi’s part her own.”



Apparently, Simpson agrees. In a recent interview, she commented on her physical assets.

"I have amazing boobs. They're just perfect."



Currently, Simpson is working on the movie Employee of the Month in New Mexico with Dane Cook. Producers are also looking to sign David Hasselhoff in his original role as Mitch Buchannon.



Photo Location

Cash

Cash

USA
OLD SKOOL

APR 05, 2006 05:08 AM

Dear Hollywood,

You suck. You couldn't come up with a semi-original idea if your vapid, pointless lives depended on it.

Let me guess...you're going to write in a role for Snoop Dogg...aren't you?

puke

bryney

bryney

Melbourne, FL
February 2006

APR 05, 2006 05:25 AM

I'm so sick of remakes.

thorr74

thorr74

Sylvan Lake, AB
December 2004

APR 05, 2006 06:49 AM

I thought you were talking about Marge Simpson frown

Skank_Zero

Skank_Zero

Chicago, IL
December 2005

APR 05, 2006 08:24 AM

thorr74 said:
I thought you were talking about Marge Simpson frown



That would make for a far more interesting film.

Mythicus

Mythicus

Lawnside, NJ
May 2004

APR 05, 2006 08:38 AM

Cash said:
Dear Hollywood,

You suck. You couldn't come up with a semi-original idea if your vapid, pointless lives depended on it.

Let me guess...you're going to write in a role for Snoop Dogg...aren't you?

puke



and they wonder why so many people aren't going to the movies these days.

lilyk

lilyk

I'm lost
December 2004

APR 05, 2006 09:10 AM

Cash said:
Dear Hollywood,

You suck. You couldn't come up with a semi-original idea if your vapid, pointless lives depended on it.

Let me guess...you're going to write in a role for Snoop Dogg...aren't you?

puke


cosigned

n8tvegrl

n8tvegrl

Bend, OR
February 2004

APR 05, 2006 09:24 AM

Didn't they learn anything from Dukes of Hazzard?

surreal

Anabel

Anabel

SUICIDEGIRL

New York, USA

APR 05, 2006 11:37 AM

Hey guess what guys?

I have amazing boobs.
They're just perfect.

Subrosa

Subrosa

San Francisco, CA
July 2004

APR 05, 2006 11:39 AM

Anabel said:
Hey guess what guys?

I have amazing boobs.
They're just perfect.


Testify.

Oren

Oren

United Kingdom
January 2006

APR 05, 2006 11:41 AM

n8tvegrl said:
Didn't they learn anything from Dukes of Hazzard?

surreal



That's exactly what I was thinking!

TheFly

TheFly

Eagle Springs, NC
November 2003

APR 05, 2006 12:27 PM

n8tvegrl said:
Didn't they learn anything from Dukes of Hazzard?

surreal



or Charlie's Angels

or the Chocolate Factory

or the supposed A-Team movie

or Night of the Living Dead

or Dawn of the Dead

or the numerous sequels to movies, good or bad, that didn't need them?

fpkk

fpkk

United Kingdom
June 2003

APR 05, 2006 12:30 PM

Hear that grinding sound?

That's David Hasselhoff turning in his grave.

Or recursing in his speedos.

Or humping the door to the casting call.

Whichever, it's not a pretty sight.

lilyk

lilyk

I'm lost
December 2004

APR 05, 2006 12:39 PM

Rafi said:
How will this film maintain the integrity and quality of the original Baywatch?


Red swimsuits, curvy lifeguards, Hasselhoff, and lots of running in slow-motion. Basically, you should be able to watch the entire thing and understand everything while the sound is muted.

lilyk

lilyk

I'm lost
December 2004

APR 05, 2006 12:57 PM

Rafi said:

lilyk said:

Rafi said:
How will this film maintain the integrity and quality of the original Baywatch?


Red swimsuits, curvy lifeguards, Hasselhoff, and lots of running in slow-motion. Basically, you should be able to watch the entire thing and understand everything while the sound is muted.



See, this is what worries me - seeing the movie in a movie theater will leave me with no means of muting the dialogue!


See, you worry about the dialogue, whereas all the other Baywatch fnas worry about the peep show aspects they would not have to deal with at home...

Subrosa

Subrosa

San Francisco, CA
July 2004

APR 05, 2006 01:10 PM

lilyk said:

Rafi said:

lilyk said:

Rafi said:
How will this film maintain the integrity and quality of the original Baywatch?


Red swimsuits, curvy lifeguards, Hasselhoff, and lots of running in slow-motion. Basically, you should be able to watch the entire thing and understand everything while the sound is muted.



See, this is what worries me - seeing the movie in a movie theater will leave me with no means of muting the dialogue!


See, you worry about the dialogue, whereas all the other Baywatch fnas worry about the peep show aspects they would not have to deal with at home...


Do they even MAKE bright red raincoats with yellow trim?

MissDuke

MissDuke

United Kingdom
February 2006

APR 05, 2006 02:23 PM

Im a huge dukes of hazzard fan, and she already ruined that!!! Now baywatch!!!

Why why why????!!!

Bring back pammy!

CocoabutteR

CocoabutteR

Brooklyn, NY
March 2006

APR 05, 2006 02:52 PM

MissDuke said:
Im a huge dukes of hazzard fan, and she already ruined that!!! Now baywatch!!!

Why why why????!!!

Bring back pammy!



No, keep Pammy at home.

As a matter of fact...everyone who has their foot in the water with this project should stay at home

n8tvegrl

n8tvegrl

Bend, OR
February 2004

APR 05, 2006 03:31 PM

TheFly said:

n8tvegrl said:
Didn't they learn anything from Dukes of Hazzard?

surreal



or Charlie's Angels

or the Chocolate Factory

or the supposed A-Team movie

or Night of the Living Dead

or Dawn of the Dead

or the numerous sequels to movies, good or bad, that didn't need them?



I mostly meant her acting.... but yeah, the whole making bad television into film is a pretty ridiculous thing to do.

Dizzy

Dizzy

Los Angeles, CA
January 2004

APR 05, 2006 03:32 PM

It's baywatch. All it needs is boobs. she's perfect for the role.

sixbysix

sixbysix

United Kingdom
December 2004

APR 05, 2006 03:43 PM

Straight



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