NEWS: Simpson in “Baywatch” Movie? Shocker.

CELEB: Simpson in “Baywatch” Movie? Shocker.

Reports have been released that Jessica Simpson, 25, has signed on and will be starring in the movie adaptation of television’s “Baywatch.” She is supposedly being cast in Pamela Anderson’s former role as C.J. Parker.

So basically, this role called for an actress willing to be scantily clad, be blonde, and run in slow-motion? Studio executives seem to think it is a winning combination.

Apparently, Simpson agrees. In a recent interview, she commented on her physical assets.

Currently, Simpson is working on the movie Employee of the Month in New Mexico with Dane Cook. Producers are also looking to sign David Hasselhoff in his original role as Mitch Buchannon.



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Dear Hollywood,

You suck. You couldn't come up with a semi-original idea if your vapid, pointless lives depended on it.

Let me guess...you're going to write in a role for Snoop Dogg...aren't you?

I'm so sick of remakes.

I thought you were talking about Marge Simpson

That would make for a far more interesting film.

and they wonder why so many people aren't going to the movies these days.

cosigned

Didn't they learn anything from Dukes of Hazzard?

Testify.

That's exactly what I was thinking!

or Charlie's Angels

or the Chocolate Factory

or the supposed A-Team movie

or Night of the Living Dead

or Dawn of the Dead

or the numerous sequels to movies, good or bad, that didn't need them?

Hear that grinding sound?

That's David Hasselhoff turning in his grave.

Or recursing in his speedos.

Or humping the door to the casting call.

Whichever, it's not a pretty sight.

Red swimsuits, curvy lifeguards, Hasselhoff, and lots of running in slow-motion. Basically, you should be able to watch the entire thing and understand everything while the sound is muted.

See, you worry about the dialogue, whereas all the other Baywatch fnas worry about the peep show aspects they would not have to deal with at home...

Do they even MAKE bright red raincoats with yellow trim?

Im a huge dukes of hazzard fan, and she already ruined that!!! Now baywatch!!!

Why why why????!!!

Bring back pammy!

No, keep Pammy at home.

As a matter of fact...everyone who has their foot in the water with this project should stay at home

I mostly meant her acting.... but yeah, the whole making bad television into film is a pretty ridiculous thing to do.

It's baywatch. All it needs is boobs. she's perfect for the role.

Straight



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