So this last weekend I was trying to use a copy of the Pensacola News Journal to start a fire behind the house of this one dude I dont like when this article caught my attention:

City Graffiti Caused Thousands in Damage

Much of the graffiti, nicknamed tagging, seems to be random and has been associated with a known subculture of punk rockers and Goth groups.

And I thought, Motherfucker, now I have to worry about the goths coming around and tagging shit up? I thought they were all at home being Wiccan. Shit. I have to be careful -- I got me a couple of VNV Nation and Bauhaus CDs around here somewhere, and the goths will get on those bad jams like stink on a clove. You know?

I went looking around online for more information, trying to see if garlic or sunshine or something would help keep em away, and I was floored by what I found: Gothic Couple in Suicide Pact. Suicide pact! On the same day! As the graffiti! But in Australia!

At first I was like, What a sensationalist bunch of bullshit. Theyre throwing goth in the headline simply to exploit the natural fear and hatred of square people toward anyone doing anything remotely cool or fun. What the hell makes this poor couple so goth anyway? The article doesnt even say except for that Satanic symbol crap, and that could be anything. But then, after a minute or two of mulling over all the details, I decided Id rather be safe than sorry and consequently became totally hysterical. Holy shit, someone hide me from the goths, I screamed, startling a nearby goldfish.

Looking around some more, I found this, happening right around the corner in New Zealand:

"I hated what I was doing but did it because Goth told me I had to. If I didn't do as I was told, I believed the threats he made would be carried out," he said. "That's why I didn't go to the police or to my family. I totally believed what was being said to me by Goth.

The defendant allegedly suggested that if they continued to submit to Goth's threats, they would eventually be left alone, but instead the text threats became more serious and included specific orders for spanking and more serious sexual offences.

OK, Ive read that damn thing like six times and Im honestly having a hard time following it, but Ive kind of been having a hard time with lots of things since some of the burning Pensacola News Journal fumes got up my nose, and anyway it seems possible that this Goth guy with all the spanking and such might be some kids imaginary friend or something. I decided to rule that out in the interests of safety (and because it's kind of neat to pretend there's an actual evil dude named Goth who harasses kids) and do some more research.

Since Im down here in Americas wang, I turned to my own backyard first and used the Pensacola News Journal newsroom contact page to reach out to the papers managing editor and local news staff and ask a few questions:

I noticed a recent Local News item on your site claiming a "known subculture" of goth and punk groups is associated with a wave of graffiti. Do you have staff members with enough of a familiarity with either goth or punk music or style to knowledgably identify members, items or graffiti associated with these cultures? And I'm curious about use of the phrase "known subculture." It would seem to imply people interested in goth or punk culture wish to remain anonymous. Does the Pensacola News Journal feel this is the case?

I mean, I wanted to make sure, you know? Id hate to paint an inaccurate picture of a group of people based simply on their appearance and foster some sort of public mistrust, just because of lazy journalism. But after a day or two, I had no answer. Still desperate for more information, I went to the Web site for the Pensacola Police Department, and used the public information there to ask a community officer and a department media contact some questions about the article:

It was with interest that I read a recent short story in the Pensacola News Journal detailing a recent wave of graffiti that the Journal associated with a "known subculture" of "punk rockers and "Goth groups." How does the Pensacola Police Department identify graffiti as being associated with goth or punk music or style? Does the Pensacola Police Department currently include participants in or experts on goth or punk culture? Have there been ongoing legal or nuisance problems with Pensacola-area people identifying themselves as participants in goth or punk culture? Are Pensacola-area people interested in goth or punk culture considered by the Pensacola Police Department to be especially given to any types of illegal activities, and, if so, what might these be?

The story's use of the phrase "known subculture" also raises an interesting question -- assuming this phrase originated with the Pensacola Police Department and not the Journal, is it meant to imply that those participating in goth or punk culture in your area generally wish to remain anonymous?

Finally, I'd appreciate any detailed descriptions or specific examples of this recent grafitti you might be able to provide.

I figured the department would be chock full of goth experts who could provide me with the information I needed to protect myself. I commenced to hiding while awaiting their reply, and passed the time staring suspiciously at my Death in June CDs, watching them closely lest they go all awry and start tagging the joint up. Then yesterday morning I received this:

I have forwarded your requests to the supervisors and officers attending to
this problem for possible responses to your questions.

Whew. I dont know about you, but I feel safer already.

LiquidYogi

Claremont, CA

September 2003

APR 04, 2006 11:04 PM

Too Long, don't care to read

Admiral_Pants

Austin, TX

May 2004

APR 04, 2006 11:09 PM

LiquidYogi said:
Too Long, don't care to read

The opening line caught my attention, and I thought it was a worthwhile read.

But only just.

benjiB

Richmond, VA

November 2004

APR 04, 2006 11:10 PM

I guarntee that this will make less sense in eight hours when I'm not high. For now, though, riveting.

Roethke

SUICIDEGIRL

California, USA

APR 04, 2006 11:14 PM

This story is both informative and interesting.

Thanks for bringing this issue to light.

pascipio

Irving, TX

July 2002

APR 04, 2006 11:38 PM

Damn!

i told youall that we were going to fast, to far. Andnow the world had discovered our evil plans!

You have ruined everything.

Oh, well, back to the internaitonal Catholic conspiracy.

Ska_Boss

Indianapolis, IN

October 2005

APR 04, 2006 11:45 PM

The other day, my friends and I wrote "DETH ROK" and "X-FORCE RULES" on various immobile objects. It was cool. But we're not Goths because Andrew Eldritch says they suck.

Pwndcake

Portland, OR

October 2004

APR 04, 2006 11:45 PM

Lies! Vicious and horrible lies. I never laid a finger on that boy!

I mean... what?

Motionboy

Vancouver, BC

January 2004

APR 05, 2006 12:19 AM

So this last weekend I was trying to use a copy of the Pensacola News Journal to start a fire behind the house of this one dude I dont like when this article caught my attention:

thanks for the laugh.

Vanessa

SUICIDEGIRL

USA

APR 05, 2006 01:32 AM

Desidia and I go out and tag buildings on our weekends.

Apparently our pasttime has been discovered and we must move on.

desidia

Reunion

September 2002

APR 05, 2006 01:51 AM

I guess I'll just have to huff the rest of my paint