Your looking-glass self

I'm a self loather so when I think of what others think of me it's excrutiating. I have to try not to do that or I'll get even more neurotic.

I'm convinced no one would show up at my funeral.

People see me a hyper-responsible and fearless. This is not true. I feel fear. I just throw myself into the fire anyway.

ill show up if theres an open bar

my innards are made of glass.

That's a fabulous idea, I'll remember that!

People see me a hyper-responsible and fearless. This is not true. I feel fear. I just throw myself into the fire anyway.

No, you wont.

I don't know what people think of me. I think they probably think I'm a little too obnoxious...but basically an ok guy.

I have no idea; I try not to think about that sort of thing in case I become over-analytical.

I think a lot of the people I know see me as pretty mellow, slow to excite and particularly sarcastic, which is okay, I am. I'm just not pleased when they think I'm unconcerned. Or in those instances when a girl I am interested in starts feeling those big brotherly, or safe male friend vibes from me. Kind of frustrating.

i reckon people see me as outgoing, a bit obnoxious, and loud, but i just act that way because, unless i'm with close friends in a small group, im terrified around people.
thats the most i can say without sounding all that negative.

i see you as hot.

People normally see me as a crazy girl. They see me as unstable and selfish and an attention whore.

I'm not really that way, though. Most of the time I'm calm and quiet and peaceful. No one really sees that "soft" side of me. That sensual side and all.



[Edited on Apr 04, 2006 by prettyhollows]

ditto

And your admirer isn't to shabby either. I say...we all go out for drinks.

uhm...cant.

Flux turned me onto this interesting self-awareness matrix:

Johari | Nohari

Meeeeeeeee Too!

This is one of those instances where my words being taken out of context serve to form a pleasant truism

People keep telling me
a) that I'm really nice and
b) that I'm hot
and both still shock me every time I hear them.

i honestly believe this...

i think people see me as stupid,ugly and annoying. it makes for a hard time in socializing

[Edited on Apr 04, 2006 by lovecreep]

I think that the looking-glass-self plays itself out a lot more than people would care to admit. The way in which Cooley argued this works is that you receive feedback (verbal, non-verbal, implicit, explicit, etc...) based upon your actions, appearance, demeanor, etc... and that the looking-glass-self is the internalization of that feedback (e.g. people tend to think I'm outgoing, kind, gilb so I must be outgoing, kind, glib ). What occurs next is an evaluation of that feedback, and if the individual sees the feedback as positive (which could involve a number of variables) it usually leads to a self-fulfilling-prophecy (people think I'm smart and society says it's good to be smart, so I'm going to act smart all of the time).

Personally (and regretably), I think this often plays out for me re: my political leanings. People tend to think I'm liberal/leftist/... and I personally see that as a positive, therefore a lot of the time I'm thinking before I speak, 'what would the liberal position be on this issue'.

I think it all has to do with us being basically social animals constantly searching for our place in the world.

[Edited on Apr 05, 2006 by MessyJessy]

I'll admit I haven't read Cooley, but I've read plenty of people who clearly draw from him. The problem with the looking glass self theory, IMO, is that it takes away agency from the subject- people tend to be very political and pragmatic about manipulating other's perceptions of themselves. The looking glass self is implied in the work of people like Erving Goffman, who seem to have given the theory some further development to address this sort of constructive activity that people engage in during social interactions.

I assume that people think I'm a nerd, and they're right. Ha! No looking-glass here, it's all window.

I generally try to fall below the radar of people I'm not really interested in knowing, and not make an impression...just in case I see them again. I only show people I know, or care to really know, myself. So, I guess that's what they see.

[Edited on Apr 05, 2006 by DrinkItUp]