NEWS: Giving Birth L. Ron Hubbard-Style

CELEB: Giving Birth L. Ron Hubbard-Style

Tom Cruise's very pregnant fiance Katie Holmes is due to give birth to their baby/alien transporter pod in the next few weeks, and she has reportedly decided on a "silent birth," in accordance with Scientology tradition.

So while Katie is giving birth, Tom gets to jump around on the sofa and scream "I love this woman!," but Katie has to keep her trap shut?

Well, if the child was conceived in abject, horrifying, and painful silence...

I can think of nothing that would make me go insane faster than being forced into absolute silence (without painkillers, I'm sure) during a prolonged moment of considerable pain.

As for the child going mad, I'd be more concerned about growing up around Tom fucking Cruise than being born in silence.

I swear, if L. Ron Hubbard weren't already dead, I'd pull a Pat Robertson and advocate his assassination.

Seriously. I wonder if his mother's non-silent birth is Cruise's excuse for his madness.

You don't know the history of my spermatazoa...I do.

I don't see how she could stay silent unless she has all the painkilling drugs available. My daughter had a 'natural' birth and I didn't particularly want to scream during the last part of labour, but I couldn't help it. It hurt like nothing else!

Pat is so hardcore, he'd call for an assassination even if the person was already dead.

*glib*

Stop being glib, MessyJessy.

Damn you, alyk.

[Edited on Mar 28, 2006 by mamet]

There is something very disturbing about the idea that a science fiction writer, especially one who makes a bet about starting a religion, presumes to know anything about childbirth, psychology, or sanity.

Stop reading my mind, Mamet.

But it's just a hormonal thing! You can use vitamins to help a woman through those things! Vitamins, not drugs! You don't know the history of pregnancy or pain, Lissom.... I DO.





[Edited on Mar 28, 2006 by _DictionaryGirl_]

Ah, I see where I went wrong now.

Where in the world is...Gliby McGliberson?

I hope I got this wrong but does it mean the woman should be silent during childbirth? are scientologists retarded?

yes...both mother and father have to be quiet...oh and yes

I hate people so much.
How can you be expected to be silent while pushing a melon out of a small...hole.

She may be silent, but somewhere James Van Der Beek will be screaming and crying uncontrollably.

Oh Tom Cruise, you so CRAZY!

this was my favorite part of the article:

are you fucking kidding me?

I don't find that disturbing at all. What I find disturbing is that people BELIEVE this shit, even though he made it as absurd as he possibly could have. But people still buy into it. Don't blame L. Ron. Blame the morons that buy into what he wrote, apparently, on a bet.