cricket confuses the fuck out of me

Seriously people, what the fuck are you on about?

" The greatest the world has seen"

Okay, so apparently that was some kind of good.

Only, what the fuck are you on about?

There was a thread about this a couple days ago.

I don't understand it either...but apparently-
during that game Australia ended up waaaay ahead in points (if it was football it would have been like....400-7)
They scored the most points EVER in a one day game (these games can continue for days)
THEN South Africa got "up to bat" and overtook Australia, beating their world record points and won the game (came from behind from 400-7 to winning)

It really is amazing

Ever played Uno?

Wikipedia explains it perfectly...see? Simple game really.

[Edited on Mar 19, 2006 by AceTracer]

"You sank my battleship!"

Do you get paid by Wikipedia or something?


[Edited on Mar 19, 2006 by crispy]

Quite the opposite. I donate $10 a month to Wikipedia; I feel it's that good.

Boy, that graphic cleared things right up. Dah.

Here is a "simple" explanation:

Got that? It's so easy, I don't understand what the problem is.

"Cricket?! You gotta know what a crumpet is to understand cricket."

Marry me.

In some of the higher dimensions they feel they can more or less please themselves, and have been playing a peculiar game called Brockian Ultra-Cricket for whatever their transdimensional equivalent of billions of years is.

The rules to the game of Brockian Ultra-cricket, as played in the higher dimensions are strange and inexplicable. A full set of the rules is so massively complicated that the only time they were all bound together to form a single volume, they underwent gravitational collapse and became a black hole.

A brief summary, however, is as follows:

Rule One:

Grow at least three extra legs. You won't need them, but it keeps the crowds amused.

Rule Two:

Find one good Brockian Ultra-Cricket player and clone him off a few times. This saves an enormous amount of tedious selection and training.

Rule Three:

Put your team and the opposing team in a large field and build a high wall round them.

The reason for this is that, though the game is a major spectator sport, the frustration experienced by the audience at not actually being able to see what's going on leads them to imagine that it's a lot more exciting than it actually is. A crowd that has just watched a rather humdrum game experiences far less life-affirmation than a crowd that believes it has just missed the most dramatic event in sporting history.

Rule Four:

Throw lots of assorted items of sporting equipment over the walls for the players. Anything will do - cricket bats, basecube bats, tennis guns, skis, anything you can get a good swing with.

Rule five:

The players should now lay about themselves for all they are worth with whatever they find to hand. Whenever a player scores a 'hit' on another player, he should immediately run away and apologize from a safe distance.

Apologies should be concise, sincere and, for maximum clarity and points, delivered through a megaphone.

Rule Six:

The winning team shall be the first team that wins.

I like Brockian Ultra-Cricket. It sounds like a good time.

I'm reading more about the game now, because although I was being sarcastic before I'm determined now to find out how the hell this game works. This is what I've been able to gather so far:

There's an oval field, and in the middle there's a patch of dirt...



On opposite sides of the dirt, 22 yards apart, there's these things called wickets...



Now, one player called a bowler, like a pitcher in baseball, "bowls" the ball to a player on the opposite wicket. Apparently "bowling" is not throwing, because throwing is illegal. I guess it's like softball. Anyway, you bowl the ball to the batsman, but what you're trying to do is hit the wicket. The guy with the bat is trying to stop you from hitting the wicket by batting the ball away.

You're out if:
-The bowler hits the wicket
-You use your feet to stop the ball from hitting the wicket
-You hit the ball, and it's caught
-You hit the ball, run to the opposite wicket, but someone catches the ball, throws it, and hits the wicket you're running to before you get there.

You score 1 run if:
-You hit the ball and make it to the opposite wicket without getting out.

You score 4 runs if:
-You hit the ball and it makes one bounce before going outside the boundary

You score 6 runs if:
-You hit the ball and it goes outside the boundary without bouncing (like a home run)

If you're out, someone replaces you, and you play until your entire team is out. Then the other team plays. I'm not sure why this takes up to 5 days, but apparently there's 50 "overs" in an inning, and there are two innings. So that's a lot of playing.

Could you maybe bump that up to $20, then I'd not feel so guilty about using it so much. Thanks in advance.

Dude, I should get $20 for figuring out how this game is played.

AceTracer's Cricket For Dummies is really quite good.

Like baseball, teams take turns batting and fielding. The fielding team is on the ground all at the same time; the batting team has two bastmen on the field (at each end of the "pitch" (the patch of dirt with the "wickets" at each end).

BOWLING goes in "overs", which is a sequence of six balls bowled by a bowler. After a bowler has bowled six balls, a new bowler starts bowling from the other end of the pitch to whoever is now standing at the opposite end from where he is bowling.

ONE DAY MATCHES are limited-over matches where the batting team has 50 overs (or all their batsmen, whichever is exhausted first) to make runs i.e. score points.

TEST MATCHES are unlimited-over matches where each teams gets to go in to bat twice, subject to a total constraint of five days, to score runs. Tactics are different for limited-over matches than for long matches.

Are we talking SG Cricket League? I'm in, with you as captain of our group's team, and that means you get tons of money flowing your way.

That'd be unfair, he's the only one who knows how to play.

The British did a much better job of inventing curling. Curling has beer. Also, "the hammer" is a much cooler sounding position than "the bowler".

For a second I though this thread was about SG Cricket.

That's actually why I clicked on this thread. And I ended up learning a new sport. Funny how life works.

There's also TWENTY TWENTY, a shorter version of the One Day Matches where overs are limited to Twenty per team.

No amount of graphs could help me get Cricket

Also, live coverage of India vs England, the third of a three match test series. Which England want to get a draw in.

Yep, fifteen days and we want a draw.