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3/14/06

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Beth_Gottfried

Beth_Gottfried

Cambridge, MA
March 2006

MAR 13, 2006 12:34 PM

The only thing that irks me more than pretty people assuming that they can and should act by virtue of their looks are actors thinking they can write just because, well, they have something they want to say. While there may be exceptions, former Home Alone actor Macaulay Culkin ain’t one of them. Exhibit A: the former child star’s new novel and self-described “most intimidating project,” his predominantly autobiographical account of his strained relationship with his father, entitled Junior.

Critics have been mercilessly (and perhaps justifiably) panning the book :

The book is essentially comprised of a couple hundred pages of semi-coherent diary entries coupled with a handful of scrawled drawings. The story, insofar as one exists, concerns a child star named Monkey-Monkey Boy and a guy, Junior, with no end of father issues. (People magazine readers will recognize autobiographical elements.)

Filled with jokes lacking wit, introspection devoid of insight, poetry made of nothing, this is a work frustratingly short on substance. Makes Ethan Hawke read like Philip Roth.



In an appearance on Good Morning America today, Culkin said of the book’s subject matter:

I felt like I had two fathers. I had my real father and the father in my head. I think a lot of it was coming to terms with my father in my head. … I feel like I am in a good place when it comes to that.



Hmmm…”Two fathers”? Anyone think Culkin might be still emotionally reeling from those infamous Michael Jackson sleepovers at Neverland?

To read an excerpt from Junior, click here.

Happyboy

Happyboy

Berkeley, CA
December 2004

MAR 13, 2006 12:50 PM

He admits he is not a writer and isn't very good at it, fine, he is being up front and human about the process however, at the same time, coupled with what I already know about the author, this sort of self-deprecation is annoying and makes me want to read the book that much less. Why would I want to read a book that in the intro the author tells me will most likely suck anyway?

PointBlank

PointBlank

New York, NY
November 2004

MAR 13, 2006 12:55 PM


Makes Ethan Hawke read like Philip Roth.


zzzzZZZING!

Rahodeb

Rahodeb

Los Angeles, CA
March 2006

MAR 13, 2006 01:00 PM

this is a huge pet peeve of mine.

Cigarette

Cigarette

Cleveland, OH
April 2004

MAR 13, 2006 01:05 PM

Yeah, man, there's nothing worse than someone trying different things. I hate that!

CheshireCat

CheshireCat

Los Angeles, CA
January 2004

MAR 13, 2006 01:07 PM

...I think he is giving up acting...or it has given him up. Just because you have looks does not mean you are an idiot;though his work may not be good he is doing something .....although it does bother me that a piece of crap piece o writing can get published just because you were a child star. alot of actors do other things and are good at them......even rock stars;nobody has really taken Jim Morrisons poetry seriously because time has not given it substance yet.

s5

s5

San Francisco, CA
OLD SKOOL

MAR 13, 2006 01:07 PM

Perhaps he would have been better off starting a blog. Celebrity autobiography = crap. Celebrity blogs = fun and exciting.

Cigarette

Cigarette

Cleveland, OH
April 2004

MAR 13, 2006 01:10 PM

CheshireCat said:
time has not given it substance yet.



Neither did Jim Morrison! ZING!

wink

13Jack

13Jack

USA
September 2004

MAR 13, 2006 01:13 PM

Wait until you read my book about easily irritated web columnists. I'm going to star in the movie too.

JoshXXX

JoshXXX

Northborough, MA
March 2004

MAR 13, 2006 01:35 PM

Clov said:
Yeah, man, there's nothing worse than someone trying different things. I hate that!



I don't think the problem is that he's trying something new. The problem is that he's trying something new, isn't good at it, and is getting a book deal right off the bat anyway. At least, that's my problem with it. Prasing him by actually publishing it without making him re-write it so it doesn't suck is only going to make him think that he's already on some professional level caliber. He'll keep writing on the same level and never improve because he thinks he's already good enough.

Cigarette

Cigarette

Cleveland, OH
April 2004

MAR 13, 2006 01:37 PM

JoshXXX said:

Clov said:
Yeah, man, there's nothing worse than someone trying different things. I hate that!



I don't think the problem is that he's trying something new. The problem is that he's trying something new, isn't good at it, and is getting a book deal right off the bat anyway. At least, that's my problem with it. Prasing him by actually publishing it without making him re-write it so it doesn't suck is only going to make him think that he's already on some professional level caliber. He'll keep writing on the same level and never improve because he thinks he's already good enough.


Well that's not his fault. If I were given the opportunity to play Clov on Broadway, I wouldn't not take it because I didn't think I was good enough.

kolacek

kolacek

San Francisco, CA
January 2004

MAR 13, 2006 01:57 PM

Well...if you ever want to know, lock stock and barrel, what sort of mush an <s>alleged molestation victim</s> ex-child star's brain can turn into, maybe this book will be a good measuring stick?

I dunno.

Personally, having dealt with some serious sickos as a child myself...I feel sorry for the guy.

[Edited on Mar 13, 2006 1:58PM]

Moonrabbit

Moonrabbit

Vancouver, BC
February 2005

MAR 13, 2006 04:18 PM

It's not like he's some high profile actor who's decided to use their fame and connections to buy themselves an obnoxious, in your face pop career.

When was the last time you heard anything about Macauly Culkin outside of the tabloids?

Writing a book, unlike pop music or acting is truely expressing yourself, which is something everybody has a right to do.

This book might not interest you or me. Why should it? Are you a die hard Macauly Culkin fan? Who is? Though, what 8 year old didn't like the first home alone movie when it came out?

Most of the people who will buy this book will be tabloid junkies.
But there are some people who might just relate to him and what he's written.
Some people do have bad relationships with their parents and are pretty fucked up because of it.

There's alot of things you can critique as mad grabs for cash. I don't think writing is one of them. Even if someone intended for a novel just to make money, you can't write a whole story and not have it mean something to you.

DrTchock

DrTchock

Montreal, QC
October 2005

MAR 13, 2006 04:28 PM

Maybe the drawings will be good. smile

ChestnutMonkey

ChestnutMonkey

I'm lost
April 2004

MAR 13, 2006 04:38 PM

Moonrabbit said:
Writing a book, unlike pop music or acting is truely expressing yourself, which is something everybody has a right to do.



Since when was pop music or acting definitely not a way of expressing yourself?

Whiks

Whiks

I'm lost
April 2005

MAR 13, 2006 05:03 PM

Now I kind of want to read it.

Capital

Capital

Providence, RI
February 2005

MAR 13, 2006 05:28 PM

JoshXXX said:

Clov said:
Yeah, man, there's nothing worse than someone trying different things. I hate that!



I don't think the problem is that he's trying something new. The problem is that he's trying something new, isn't good at it, and is getting a book deal right off the bat anyway. At least, that's my problem with it. Prasing him by actually publishing it without making him re-write it so it doesn't suck is only going to make him think that he's already on some professional level caliber. He'll keep writing on the same level and never improve because he thinks he's already good enough.



I don't think he has that preconception at all. In the intro he even says:


"See how I got myself off the hook? A real writer wouldn't have done that. I am not a writer. I am a fraud, and you can quote me on that. I can read the headlines now. "Young man uses connections to get book published." The reviews nearly write themselves. In fact, I wouldn't be very surprised if these last couple of sentences are the most quoted of any other. I'm a sham, a fraud, and a failure all at the same time. And this introduction proves it."


Not that he's immunized himself from all criticism of his writing by anticipating it, but if the complaint is that he's developed some inflated sense of himself as a good writer I think this passage shows that's not the case.

Moonrabbit

Moonrabbit

Vancouver, BC
February 2005

MAR 13, 2006 05:30 PM

ChestnutMonkey said:

Moonrabbit said:
Writing a book, unlike pop music or acting is truely expressing yourself, which is something everybody has a right to do.



Since when was pop music or acting definitely not a way of expressing yourself?




Not saying definitely.
Music in general is a form of expressing yourself.
I'd argue pop music that's pop music for being the sake of being what's popular isn't about anybody expressing themselves.

I know acting is a way of expressing yourself. Not trying to make it seem like a less legitimate form of expression. But it's definitely not one that just anybody can do.

I am taking a shot at pop music though. Good to know we're clear on that.

It's sad that in both cases people who are 'attractive' yet have no talent can get careers out of one or both.

You don't need talent to write. Internet fiction sites are a testiment to that. A story can be written horribly but if someone can relate to it then it's meaningful.

[Edited on Mar 13, 2006 8:32PM]

MsStabby

MsStabby

I'm lost
November 2005

MAR 13, 2006 06:48 PM

Beth_Gottfried said:

I think a lot of it was coming to terms with my father in my head. … I feel like I am in a good place when it comes to that.



Good for him. I'm still trying to come to terms with the voices in my head, one of which is my father.

Goob

Goob

Hatboro, PA
March 2004

MAR 13, 2006 10:23 PM

s5 said it first. All I could think was "this should have been a blog... and then he'd never have to go on abcNews and explain it and embarass himself like this."

frown

poor guy.

PatrickY

PatrickY

Vancouver, WA
December 2003

MAR 13, 2006 11:52 PM

Goob said:
s5 said it first. All I could think was "this should have been a blog... and then he'd never have to go on abcNews and explain it and embarass himself like this."

frown

poor guy.



Book stores are absolutely filled to bursting with garbage works written by talent-barren authors who would kill their own children for the chance to see their novel savaged by high profile critics.

Because that would mean exposure. And exposure of any sort is far, far, FAR better than what most authors end up getting: ignored.

Totally, eternally, crushingly... ignored.

He wrote a book, he got paid for it, and he'll have an audience, and those latter two things are rare indeed for an author.


You shouldn't feel bad for him. If anything, you should be happy for him for being so damned fortunate.