Haverchuck: Darwin Award Nominee

BillHaverchuck said:
So I took a stab at inadvertantly ending my life last night, and I would've been successful, if it weren't for those meddling kids (aka my friends). We went to a bar across the way from my friend's condo complex. I drank my face off. My friend lives on the Black River near Lake Erie, and there is a marina there with small docks in front of their residences. As we approached, my friend jokingly made a comment that the quickest way back to the house was across the docks. That was all I needed to hear, and I bolted down one of the docks and tried to jump across to another one. I didn't clear it.
Much to my surprise, I was suddenly upside down underwater. I surfaced quickly enough, but the water was very cold; it was frozen a few days previously, so was somewhere in the mid-30s. I reached for the dock and tried to pull myself up, and found out I was unable to. My friend called out to me, asking if I could make it up. I responded "no". He made the leap next, also ending up in the water but puling himself out quickly and helping me out.
I ended up sacrificing my hat and my eyeglasses ($400- fuck) to Poseidon. Not thinking that I wouldn't make, or thinking at all, really, I hadn't thought to remove any articles of clothing or anything.
Somehow my cell phone survived.
Anyway, we went in the house, he and I had hot showers, and I spent the remainder of the night vomiting river water and booze. They were also worried I was going to have hypothermia for some reason, and I ended up with a shitload of blankets on me.
Spent the whole morning throwing up too.
So that's how I took a shot at dying.