Haverchuck: Darwin Award Nominee

So I took a stab at inadvertantly ending my life last night, and I would've been successful, if it weren't for those meddling kids (aka my friends). We went to a bar across the way from my friend's condo complex. I drank my face off. My friend lives on the Black River near Lake Erie, and there is a marina there with small docks in front of their residences. As we approached, my friend jokingly made a comment that the quickest way back to the house was across the docks. That was all I needed to hear, and I bolted down one of the docks and tried to jump across to another one. I didn't clear it.
Much to my surprise, I was suddenly upside down underwater. I surfaced quickly enough, but the water was very cold; it was frozen a few days previously, so was somewhere in the mid-30s. I reached for the dock and tried to pull myself up, and found out I was unable to. My friend called out to me, asking if I could make it up. I responded "no". He made the leap next, also ending up in the water but puling himself out quickly and helping me out.
I ended up sacrificing my hat and my eyeglasses ($400- fuck) to Poseidon. Not thinking that I wouldn't make, or thinking at all, really, I hadn't thought to remove any articles of clothing or anything.
Somehow my cell phone survived.
Anyway, we went in the house, he and I had hot showers, and I spent the remainder of the night vomiting river water and booze. They were also worried I was going to have hypothermia for some reason, and I ended up with a shitload of blankets on me.
Spent the whole morning throwing up too.
So that's how I took a shot at dying.

Ahhh... booze... is there anything you can't make people do?

What where you dringing, Boondock Ale?

We showered separately.

Ouch!

Dude, Poseidon totally delegates smaller bodies of water (including rivers) to lower level functionaries. I think the person in charge of that particular zone goes by the name Steve...

~Trilo~

Ruined it. Right there.

[Edited on Mar 11, 2006 by unravled]

Dude, that's a gnarly fucking story I love it...

But I don't it's creative enough to qualify for a Darwin...

I dunno, maybe I should look into this!

Pussy. I did the same thing, but I swam across the entire lake into Canada to get out. Then I kicked the shit out of a moose just because I felt like it.

This sounds really familiar.

I'm very glad you're ok. And...that was fucking stupid.

Typical OSU fan right there.

im glad you didnt die!


(dumbass)

Mr Norris?

It was more "parody of the Guy On the Internet who one-ups everyone on what they've done, no matter how petty." But why not.

Yes, but it has phone cancer and will die in a matter of months. First the keys will stick, then the display will act up, then it won't turn on at all. If you don't have insurance, get it.

You should really listen to him. He knows people.

I know a guy who knows a guy who can take care of your little problem.

The Narrative of Arthur Haverchuck Pym of Nantucket.

whoops alcohol can make you wicked dumb ...

Dude, I hope your mother doesnt know.
I think i'll put my cup down right now

SCOREBOARD!

Hahaha... brilliant

It's true, the chick who does the creek near my school is way moody.

And if drunks qualified for the Darwin awards there would be one a day. Only special circumstances involving a case of beer and live power lines apply.