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seanvegas

seanvegas

Lincoln, NE
December 2004

FEB 23, 2006 08:21 PM

Fanglorious said:

RockRBoy said:
-If the quotes from reviews are all from that moron at Rolling Stone who gives every movie a good trailer quote.

-If the commercial has people standing outside a movie theatre saying how great the movie is and quoting lines.


Amen to the commercials.


If a movie has to many commercials or no commercials!

IKCSmiley

ikcsmiley

Asheville, NC
July 2003

FEB 23, 2006 11:52 PM

RockRBoy said:
-If the commercial has people standing outside a movie theatre saying how great the movie is and quoting lines.



"It was AWESOME!!!"

"Man, you watchin it and it was like BOOM! right there...."

"My husband and I loved it, didn't we?" "Oh yea, you gotta see it...I'm telling everyone about it"

"I love the part when he's like "Feel the steel, McNeel' hahaha"

"Danny was totally hot oh my god" "hehehehe" "He's dreamy!"

"Yo, you gotta check this movie out, dog - it's the rizzle dizzle..."

"THIS MOVIE ROCKS!"

puke

[Edited on Feb 24, 2006 by IKCSmiley]

IKCSmiley

ikcsmiley

Asheville, NC
July 2003

FEB 23, 2006 11:54 PM

When the best reviews they can find are from a radio station DJ in Big Rock, Idado.

[Edited on Feb 24, 2006 by IKCSmiley]

Strfry

Strfry

Cleveland, OH
September 2002

FEB 24, 2006 12:03 AM

Larry King "loved it!"

it will surely be a piece of shit.

Strfry

Strfry

Cleveland, OH
September 2002

FEB 24, 2006 12:04 AM

IKCSmiley said:
When the best reviews they can find are from a radio station DJ in Big Rock, Idado.

[Edited on Feb 24, 2006 by IKCSmiley]



at least it's a "name". i love it when i see:

"a wild thrill-ride" - Fox TV

malkav11

malkav11

Saint Paul, MN
July 2003

FEB 24, 2006 01:32 PM

I don't know that Tom Cruise automatically makes a movie bad. I will say he (and Keanu. And a few others) drags down any movie he's in, but all the same Minority Report was really, really good.

And there have been others.

If it's a horror movie that's not reviewed and I've never heard of it, that's *never* a good sign.
Actually, these days if it's a horror movie and it's not from Japan.

ckdexterhaven

ckdexterhaven

USA
December 2005

FEB 24, 2006 01:44 PM

Proof Positive: Directed By Michael Bay. Usually with Jerry Bruckheimer egging him on: "Fuck dialogue or plot, we need more explosions!"

LokisChild

LokisChild

USA
March 2005

FEB 24, 2006 02:43 PM

malkav11 said:
If it's a horror movie that's not reviewed and I've never heard of it, that's *never* a good sign.
Actually, these days if it's a horror movie and it's not from Japan.


ummm...i'm going to have to disagree with you on this one...most of the japanese horror films i've seen have been pretty horrible

and i'd like to add:
Christina Ricci in anything but Addams Family...cus Addams family kicked more ass than I can say....
EL SUICIDO LOCO

Thistle

Thistle

SUICIDEGIRL

California, USA

FEB 24, 2006 05:50 PM

mst3kfan said:

mst3kfan said:

Clov said:

MightyTick said:
Simply when it is a remake of an older film.
Especially Stepford Wives. It went from a decent horror flick to a stupid comedy. puke


Yeah. You know what sucked? Scarface.


Be careful, you might have every rap star who ever appeared on MTV Cribs on your ass. I'm with you about Scarface, though.


I couldn't stand Pacino's accent in that movie. I think it is really overrated, it's not even a top twenty five film of that era.

[Edited on Feb 23, 2006 by mst3kfan]



one of the major themes of the film is the exploration of ethnic stereotypes and the marginalization of cubans. pacino's accent is a parody of the stereotypical cuban accent. i think most people who like the film do not recognize the incredible subtext and the complexity of it. but it is still a brilliant film and certainly one of the best of a very good decade for film.

Keith

Keith

Oklahoma City, OK
August 2002

FEB 24, 2006 05:59 PM

I'm not sure if this has been mentioned, or even if I've already mentioned it, but you can ALWAYS tell whether a movie is going to suck by how prominently the names of the reviewer or news organization that gave it a favorable view is displayed in relation to the quote, and whether the reviewer is someone reputable everyone has heard from.

For example.

Good movie:
"THE NEW YORK TIMES says 'Best comedy of the year!'"

Bad Movie:
"'BEST COMEDY OF THE YEAR!' - [Then, in tiny letters:] WKNU-TV, Arkansas"

Swear to God. I've been telling people this for years, I don't know why it hasn't caught on.

[Edited on Feb 24, 2006 by Keith]

marketmyangst

marketmyangst

New York, NY
February 2006

FEB 24, 2006 06:01 PM

generally, if the trailer has narration, the movie will blow hard... good movies are strong enough to rely on their actual scenes interjected with some title cards.

also... if the narration essentially reads like a synopsis... it's a hint that the movie is overly simplistic.

marketmyangst

marketmyangst

New York, NY
February 2006

FEB 24, 2006 06:05 PM

RockRBoy said:
-If the quotes from reviews are all from that moron at Rolling Stone who gives every movie a good trailer quote.

-If the commercial has people standing outside a movie theatre saying how great the movie is and quoting lines.



not necessarily.
nanny mcphee did this, and so did harry potter, i believe.
don't get me wrong.. i think these movies blow, but they got very solid reviews.

Tangeu

Tangeu

Troy, MI
September 2003

FEB 24, 2006 06:12 PM

If the people involved are talked about more than the movie itself:

"From the Director of _____ and _______, starring academy award winner _____, and nominee _____. "

PsychicGoldfish

PsychicGoldfish

HOPEFUL

Orono, ME

FEB 24, 2006 06:16 PM

If it's introduced by "the voice" in the trailer. I don't know why, but the disembodied VOICE spells trouble.

SinisterMike

SinisterMike

Buffalo, NY
June 2004

FEB 24, 2006 06:24 PM

walkswithbears said:

mydogfarted said:
My first warning:
Director Uwe Bol - The man who brought us such cinematic turds as 'Alone in the Dark' and 'House of the Dead'.
puke puke puke puke


I'd watch any film that guy made, for serious. His films are masterpieces, even for all the wrong reasons. House Of The Dead is pure entertainment from start to finish, although if you're looking for classical cinema, then you're probably watching it for all the wrong reasons.

My nomination is pretty obvious.



Except the 'Burbs, naturally.



Tom Hanks? Are you fucking kidding?

fineartfuldodger

fineartfuldodger

Woodside, NY
November 2005

FEB 24, 2006 06:27 PM

Posh said:
oh, also, any movie that has paul walker cast as a lead.



Thank you.

fineartfuldodger

fineartfuldodger

Woodside, NY
November 2005

FEB 24, 2006 06:28 PM

Any movie that has some sort of slow-motion shot in the trailer. Because *that's the moment everything CHANGED!* puke

SinisterMike

SinisterMike

Buffalo, NY
June 2004

FEB 24, 2006 06:28 PM

Any rapstar turned actor with a lead credit
Any rapstar/martial arts actor movie
Any remake of the parent trap
Any Hugh Grant/ Julia Roberts movie

Keith

Keith

Oklahoma City, OK
August 2002

FEB 24, 2006 08:20 PM

If it's a comedy and they can't even find enough funny jokes or gags to fill the 60-second trailer.

Jeff_Fries

Jeff_Fries

Humptulips, WA
September 2003

FEB 24, 2006 08:30 PM

Cash said:

superstar_tony said:
If Martin Lawrence is involved with the movie. mad




If you're ripping off a Martin Lawrence movie.......


What...the...fuck?!


It's more complicated than that.

Strfry

Strfry

Cleveland, OH
September 2002

FEB 25, 2006 01:53 AM

fineartfuldodger said:

Posh said:
oh, also, any movie that has paul walker cast as a lead.



Thank you.



yeah... or Wings Hauser
puke

Strfry

Strfry

Cleveland, OH
September 2002

FEB 25, 2006 01:55 AM

Keith said:
If it's a comedy and they can't even find enough funny jokes or gags to fill the 60-second trailer.



or when you watch a movie, only to realize that every single half-way good part was in the trailer, lo.

FieldOfDepth

FieldOfDepth

Christmas Island
May 2004

FEB 25, 2006 02:06 AM

Stirfry said:

Keith said:
If it's a comedy and they can't even find enough funny jokes or gags to fill the 60-second trailer.



or when you watch a movie, only to realize that every single half-way good part was in the trailer, lo.


Or you find out that you didn't even need to watch the movie, the trailer explained it all.

Or even better, the trailer made it out to be a movie about a girl boxer and it turns out to be a manipulative piece of crap.

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