Fortune Cookies

It seems like every fortune cookie I've ever gotten has contained warnings. Like the one I got tonight:

"Consolidate rather than expand business projects in the near future."

What's it all mean? Am I marked for life? Do the Chinese hate me? Or is this part of some bigger design I'm not aware of yet?

Last week's fortune cookie said

"You look happy and proud."

What the fuck was that?

Usually the ones I get aren't even fortunes any more, they're just proverbs. I got one the other day and it didn't have any fortune at all, just nothing. So does that mean I'm going to die soon or what?

A girl I once dated ltaught me to always add the following words to the end of every fortune cookie I encountered:

IN BED.

You'd be surprised how many times it scans perfectly!

Cheers Nigel

A girl I once dated ltaught me to always add the following words to the end of every fortune cookie I encountered:

IN BED.

You'd be surprised how many times it scans perfectly!

Cheers Nigel

A girl I once dated ltaught me to always add the following words to the end of every fortune cookie I encountered:

IN BED.

You'd be surprised how many times it scans perfectly!

Cheers Nigel

You will encounter many new friends IN BED.

You will embark on an exciting new journey IN BED.

Help I'm being held prisoner in a fortune cookie factory IN BED.

Okay maybe not the last one.

You are the master of every situation (IN BED!).

Fortune cookies are the only reason I eat Chinese food.

Jenna

You will repeat yourself.

you are gay (or bi)

i got an empty fortune cookie one time and i was joking about it to the chinese guy as a left and he said that it was lucky. he said it means that you are in conrol of your destiny so you will decide your fate. i thought that was neato!

You will become aroused by a shampoo commercial.

i don't think the chinese hate you. fortune cookies were invented in america by an american.

I have a bad In Bed one I got last week.
Someone is speaking well of you..in bed.
Whoever this someone is sure as hell isn't sleeping in my bed, why are others speaking of me in bed?
My other two fortunes were:
You have a keen sense of humor and love a good time
and:
You have the ability to sense and know a higher truth.

yeah no kidding. Im like "what the fuck?"
I still have it somewhere on my fridge

I thought about this one for quite some time... I finaly decided to eat it.

[Edited on Jan 04, 2003 by harden]

I got a couple that had 5 or 6 fortunes in them does that mean I have schizophrenia?

I think its obvious!

"You look happy and proud in bed" means you have wood and are about to get laid.

Cheers Nigel

girl who fists self all day has too much slime on her hands

I want to make evil fortune cookies that say.

"He pokes holes in his condoms"

"You should think about taking out a life insurance policy"

"You will ingest a spider while you sleep tonight"

stuff like that. it'd be fun

What about:
"That wasn't chicken."

this is the one I got last night:

"A thrilling time is in your immediate future"

I hope so.