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Michelle Kwan: Who the fuck does she think she is?

anonymouse

anonymouse

Miami Beach, FL
OLD SKOOL

JAN 07, 2006 03:44 PM

Michelle Kwan needs to be punched in her constipated face. No, really.

First of all, this "groin" "injury" is bullshit. She just knows she'll get creamed because she can't compete with this new system. Also, she sucks. No, really. SHE SUCKS. So she's pretending she has an injury, and now she's petitioning for a free ticket to Torino? Fuck you, Kwan. Fuck you in the face.

FridgeMagnet

FridgeMagnet

Chicago, IL
November 2004

JAN 07, 2006 04:55 PM

How do you know if a figure skater sucks?

waldo

waldo

I'm lost
June 2004

JAN 07, 2006 05:37 PM

FridgeMagnet said:
How do you know if a figure skater sucks?



Come on, where's the punchline? wink

datsun

datsun

Richmond, CA
October 2004

JAN 07, 2006 05:47 PM

I thought that she will still have to perform in front of judges, and they may still deny her a slot if she does a crappy job after her injury heals.

actually, it was pretty funny - my local paper went on a whole rant about how after the Tonya Harding/Nancy Kerrigan incident, Kwan lost a slot to Kerrigan (who petitioned in the same way Kwan is now), and they said that she would essentially be screwing someone over the way she got screwed. not terribly sympathetic. however, Kwan has an impressive record, and is one of the most decorated women in the sport. she may very well still deserve the slot.

her record since 1992- (as most recently updated on the Michelle Kwan Fan Page

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

2005 Marshalls US Figure Skating Showcase--GOLD
2005 Marshalls US Figure Skating Challenge--GOLD
2005 World Figure Skating Championships--4th
2005 US Figure Skating Championships--GOLD

2004 Marshalls World Cup of Figure Skating--SILVER
2004 Campbell's International Figure Skating Classic--GOLD
2004 Marshalls World Skating Challenge--BRONZE
2004 World Figure Skating Championships--BRONZE
2004 US Figure Skating Championships--GOLD

2003 International Figure Skating Challenge--GOLD
2003 Campbell's International Figure Skating Classic--SILVER
2003 ABC Sports International Figure Skating Classic--GOLD
2003 World Figure Skating Championships--GOLD
2003 US Figure Skating Championships--GOLD

2002 Skate America--GOLD
2002 Campbell's International Figure Skating Classic--GOLD
2002 Great American Figure Skating Challenge (Team)--SILVER
2002 World Figure Skating Championships--SILVER
2002 Winter Olympics--BRONZE
2002 US Figure Skating Championships--GOLD
2002 ISU Grand Prix Finals--SILVER

2001 Hershey's Kisses Skating Challenge (Team)--GOLD
2001 Skate Canada--BRONZE
2001 Skate America--GOLD
2001 The Masters--SILVER
2001 Goodwill Games--SILVER
2001 Great American Figure Skating Challenge (Team)--GOLD
2001 World Figure Skating Championships--GOLD
2001 ISU Grand Prix Finals--SILVER
2001 US Figure Skating Championships--GOLD

2000 Hershey's Kisses Skating Challenge (Team)--GOLD
2000 Canadian Open--SILVER
2000 Skate Canada--SILVER
2000 Skate America--GOLD
2000 The Masters--GOLD
2000 Keri Lotion Figure Skating Classic (Team)--GOLD
2000 International Figure Skating Challenge (Team)--SILVER
2000 World Figure Skating Championships--GOLD
2000 US Figure Skating Championships--GOLD
2000 ISU Grand Prix Finals--SILVER
2000 Japan Open--GOLD

1999 Winter USFSA pro-am (USA vs. The World Figure Skating Classic) (Team)--GOLD
1999 Skate Canada--GOLD
1999 Skate America--GOLD
1999 The Masters--GOLD
1999 Keri Lotion Figure Skating Classic--
(Team Result)--SILVER/(Individual Result)--GOLD
1999 Hershey's Kisses Skating Challenge (Team)--SILVER
1999 World Figure Skating Championships--SILVER
1999 US Figure Skating Championships--GOLD
1999 Japan Open--GOLD

1998 World Professional Figure Skating Championship--GOLD
1998 The Masters--GOLD
1998 US Professional Figure Skating Classic--GOLD
1998 Keri Lotion Figure Skating Classic--GOLD
1998 Grand Slam--GOLD
1998 Goodwill Games--GOLD
1998 Ultimate Four--GOLD
1998 Hershey's Kisses Skating Challenge (Team)--SILVER
1998 World Figure Skating Championships--GOLD
1998 Winter Olympics--SILVER
1998 US Figure Skating Championships--GOLD

1997 Skate Canada--GOLD
1997 Skate America--GOLD
1997 Nice 'n Easy Figure Skating Classic (Team)--SILVER
1997 Hershey's Kisses Skating Challenge (Team)--GOLD
1997 World Figure Skating Championships--SILVER
1997 ISU Champions Series Finals--SILVER
1997 US Figure Skating Championships--SILVER
1997 Honda Prelude Cup--GOLD

1996 Cotton Incorporated Ultimate Four--GOLD
1996 US Figure Skating Postal Service Challenge (Team)--GOLD
1996 Trophee Lalique--GOLD
1996 Skate America--GOLD
1996 Continent's Cup--GOLD
1996 Hershey's Kisses Figure Skating Challenge(Team)--GOLD
1996 World Figure Skating Championships--GOLD
1996 ISU Champions Series Finals--GOLD
1996 Centennial On Ice--BRONZE
1996 US Figure Skating Championships--GOLD

1995 US Figure Skating Postal Service Challenge (Team)--GOLD
1995 Nations Cup--GOLD
1995 Skate Canada--GOLD
1995 Skate America--GOLD
1995 Metropolitan Open (Best Of The Best)--SILVER
1995 Tri-Cities Pro-Am--4th
1995 Hershey's Kisses International Challenge--GOLD
1995 Worlds--4th
1995 US Nationals--SILVER

1994 Thrifty Challenge--BRONZE
1994 Trophee De France--BRONZE
1994 Skate America--SILVER
1994 US Ladies' Outdoor Challenge--GOLD
1994 Goodwill Games--SILVER
1994 Hershey's Kisses U.S. Pro-Am FS Championship--SILVER
1994 Worlds--8th
1994 US Nationals--SILVER
1994 World Juniors--GOLD

1993 Skate America--7th
1993 Olympic Festival--GOLD
1993 Gardena Spring Trophy--GOLD
1993 US Nationals--6th
1993 Pacific Coast Sectional--GOLD
1993 Southwest Pacific Regional--GOLD

1992 US Nationals (Junior)--9th
1992 Pacific Coast Sectional (Junior)--BRONZE
1992 Southwest Pacific Regional (Junior)--GOLD

pmonkeyEsquire

pmonkeyEsquire

I'm lost
May 2004

JAN 07, 2006 05:51 PM

Ah. i don't follow gymnastics at all...

ChazStrummer

ChazStrummer

Cedartown, GA
OLD SKOOL

JAN 07, 2006 05:57 PM

pmonkeyEsquire said:
Ah. i don't follow gymnastics at all...


classic tongue

Cash

Cash

USA
OLD SKOOL

JAN 07, 2006 06:09 PM

FridgeMagnet said:
How do you know if a figure skater sucks?



When you can't tell if she's stroking or give you the ol' Camel Spin.

BatAttaK

BatAttaK

Reston, VA
OLD SKOOL

JAN 07, 2006 06:24 PM

datsun said:

her record since 1992- (as most recently updated on the Michelle Kwan Fan Page

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

2005 Marshalls US Figure Skating Showcase--GOLD
2005 Marshalls US Figure Skating Challenge--GOLD
2005 World Figure Skating Championships--4th
2005 US Figure Skating Championships--GOLD

2004 Marshalls World Cup of Figure Skating--SILVER
2004 Campbell's International Figure Skating Classic--GOLD
2004 Marshalls World Skating Challenge--BRONZE
2004 World Figure Skating Championships--BRONZE
2004 US Figure Skating Championships--GOLD

2003 International Figure Skating Challenge--GOLD
2003 Campbell's International Figure Skating Classic--SILVER
2003 ABC Sports International Figure Skating Classic--GOLD
2003 World Figure Skating Championships--GOLD
2003 US Figure Skating Championships--GOLD

2002 Skate America--GOLD
2002 Campbell's International Figure Skating Classic--GOLD
2002 Great American Figure Skating Challenge (Team)--SILVER
2002 World Figure Skating Championships--SILVER
2002 Winter Olympics--BRONZE
2002 US Figure Skating Championships--GOLD
2002 ISU Grand Prix Finals--SILVER

2001 Hershey's Kisses Skating Challenge (Team)--GOLD
2001 Skate Canada--BRONZE
2001 Skate America--GOLD
2001 The Masters--SILVER
2001 Goodwill Games--SILVER
2001 Great American Figure Skating Challenge (Team)--GOLD
2001 World Figure Skating Championships--GOLD
2001 ISU Grand Prix Finals--SILVER
2001 US Figure Skating Championships--GOLD

2000 Hershey's Kisses Skating Challenge (Team)--GOLD
2000 Canadian Open--SILVER
2000 Skate Canada--SILVER
2000 Skate America--GOLD
2000 The Masters--GOLD
2000 Keri Lotion Figure Skating Classic (Team)--GOLD
2000 International Figure Skating Challenge (Team)--SILVER
2000 World Figure Skating Championships--GOLD
2000 US Figure Skating Championships--GOLD
2000 ISU Grand Prix Finals--SILVER
2000 Japan Open--GOLD

1999 Winter USFSA pro-am (USA vs. The World Figure Skating Classic) (Team)--GOLD
1999 Skate Canada--GOLD
1999 Skate America--GOLD
1999 The Masters--GOLD
1999 Keri Lotion Figure Skating Classic--
(Team Result)--SILVER/(Individual Result)--GOLD
1999 Hershey's Kisses Skating Challenge (Team)--SILVER
1999 World Figure Skating Championships--SILVER
1999 US Figure Skating Championships--GOLD
1999 Japan Open--GOLD

1998 World Professional Figure Skating Championship--GOLD
1998 The Masters--GOLD
1998 US Professional Figure Skating Classic--GOLD
1998 Keri Lotion Figure Skating Classic--GOLD
1998 Grand Slam--GOLD
1998 Goodwill Games--GOLD
1998 Ultimate Four--GOLD
1998 Hershey's Kisses Skating Challenge (Team)--SILVER
1998 World Figure Skating Championships--GOLD
1998 Winter Olympics--SILVER
1998 US Figure Skating Championships--GOLD

1997 Skate Canada--GOLD
1997 Skate America--GOLD
1997 Nice 'n Easy Figure Skating Classic (Team)--SILVER
1997 Hershey's Kisses Skating Challenge (Team)--GOLD
1997 World Figure Skating Championships--SILVER
1997 ISU Champions Series Finals--SILVER
1997 US Figure Skating Championships--SILVER
1997 Honda Prelude Cup--GOLD

1996 Cotton Incorporated Ultimate Four--GOLD
1996 US Figure Skating Postal Service Challenge (Team)--GOLD
1996 Trophee Lalique--GOLD
1996 Skate America--GOLD
1996 Continent's Cup--GOLD
1996 Hershey's Kisses Figure Skating Challenge(Team)--GOLD
1996 World Figure Skating Championships--GOLD
1996 ISU Champions Series Finals--GOLD
1996 Centennial On Ice--BRONZE
1996 US Figure Skating Championships--GOLD

1995 US Figure Skating Postal Service Challenge (Team)--GOLD
1995 Nations Cup--GOLD
1995 Skate Canada--GOLD
1995 Skate America--GOLD
1995 Metropolitan Open (Best Of The Best)--SILVER
1995 Tri-Cities Pro-Am--4th
1995 Hershey's Kisses International Challenge--GOLD
1995 Worlds--4th
1995 US Nationals--SILVER

1994 Thrifty Challenge--BRONZE
1994 Trophee De France--BRONZE
1994 Skate America--SILVER
1994 US Ladies' Outdoor Challenge--GOLD
1994 Goodwill Games--SILVER
1994 Hershey's Kisses U.S. Pro-Am FS Championship--SILVER
1994 Worlds--8th
1994 US Nationals--SILVER
1994 World Juniors--GOLD

1993 Skate America--7th
1993 Olympic Festival--GOLD
1993 Gardena Spring Trophy--GOLD
1993 US Nationals--6th
1993 Pacific Coast Sectional--GOLD
1993 Southwest Pacific Regional--GOLD

1992 US Nationals (Junior)--9th
1992 Pacific Coast Sectional (Junior)--BRONZE
1992 Southwest Pacific Regional (Junior)--GOLD




pfffft! Not one single platinum or titanium. Gold is just soooo 1972.

anonymouse

anonymouse

Miami Beach, FL
OLD SKOOL

JAN 07, 2006 06:45 PM

She suuuuuuucks. No, really. Her positions suck, her speed sucks, her jumps suck -- she's been skating the same program since 1994. Ugh.

midnight8x

midnight8x

Leominster, MA
May 2005

JAN 07, 2006 07:01 PM

bleh.. figure skating.. not my cup of tea. I always wanted the girl skaters to get naked.

SirPsychoSexy

SirPsychoSexy

Ridgewood, NJ
January 2004

JAN 07, 2006 07:23 PM

BatAttaK said:

datsun said:

her record since 1992- (as most recently updated on the Michelle Kwan Fan Page

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

2005 Marshalls US Figure Skating Showcase--GOLD
2005 Marshalls US Figure Skating Challenge--GOLD
2005 World Figure Skating Championships--4th
2005 US Figure Skating Championships--GOLD

2004 Marshalls World Cup of Figure Skating--SILVER
2004 Campbell's International Figure Skating Classic--GOLD
2004 Marshalls World Skating Challenge--BRONZE
2004 World Figure Skating Championships--BRONZE
2004 US Figure Skating Championships--GOLD

2003 International Figure Skating Challenge--GOLD
2003 Campbell's International Figure Skating Classic--SILVER
2003 ABC Sports International Figure Skating Classic--GOLD
2003 World Figure Skating Championships--GOLD
2003 US Figure Skating Championships--GOLD

2002 Skate America--GOLD
2002 Campbell's International Figure Skating Classic--GOLD
2002 Great American Figure Skating Challenge (Team)--SILVER
2002 World Figure Skating Championships--SILVER
2002 Winter Olympics--BRONZE
2002 US Figure Skating Championships--GOLD
2002 ISU Grand Prix Finals--SILVER

2001 Hershey's Kisses Skating Challenge (Team)--GOLD
2001 Skate Canada--BRONZE
2001 Skate America--GOLD
2001 The Masters--SILVER
2001 Goodwill Games--SILVER
2001 Great American Figure Skating Challenge (Team)--GOLD
2001 World Figure Skating Championships--GOLD
2001 ISU Grand Prix Finals--SILVER
2001 US Figure Skating Championships--GOLD

2000 Hershey's Kisses Skating Challenge (Team)--GOLD
2000 Canadian Open--SILVER
2000 Skate Canada--SILVER
2000 Skate America--GOLD
2000 The Masters--GOLD
2000 Keri Lotion Figure Skating Classic (Team)--GOLD
2000 International Figure Skating Challenge (Team)--SILVER
2000 World Figure Skating Championships--GOLD
2000 US Figure Skating Championships--GOLD
2000 ISU Grand Prix Finals--SILVER
2000 Japan Open--GOLD

1999 Winter USFSA pro-am (USA vs. The World Figure Skating Classic) (Team)--GOLD
1999 Skate Canada--GOLD
1999 Skate America--GOLD
1999 The Masters--GOLD
1999 Keri Lotion Figure Skating Classic--
(Team Result)--SILVER/(Individual Result)--GOLD
1999 Hershey's Kisses Skating Challenge (Team)--SILVER
1999 World Figure Skating Championships--SILVER
1999 US Figure Skating Championships--GOLD
1999 Japan Open--GOLD

1998 World Professional Figure Skating Championship--GOLD
1998 The Masters--GOLD
1998 US Professional Figure Skating Classic--GOLD
1998 Keri Lotion Figure Skating Classic--GOLD
1998 Grand Slam--GOLD
1998 Goodwill Games--GOLD
1998 Ultimate Four--GOLD
1998 Hershey's Kisses Skating Challenge (Team)--SILVER
1998 World Figure Skating Championships--GOLD
1998 Winter Olympics--SILVER
1998 US Figure Skating Championships--GOLD

1997 Skate Canada--GOLD
1997 Skate America--GOLD
1997 Nice 'n Easy Figure Skating Classic (Team)--SILVER
1997 Hershey's Kisses Skating Challenge (Team)--GOLD
1997 World Figure Skating Championships--SILVER
1997 ISU Champions Series Finals--SILVER
1997 US Figure Skating Championships--SILVER
1997 Honda Prelude Cup--GOLD

1996 Cotton Incorporated Ultimate Four--GOLD
1996 US Figure Skating Postal Service Challenge (Team)--GOLD
1996 Trophee Lalique--GOLD
1996 Skate America--GOLD
1996 Continent's Cup--GOLD
1996 Hershey's Kisses Figure Skating Challenge(Team)--GOLD
1996 World Figure Skating Championships--GOLD
1996 ISU Champions Series Finals--GOLD
1996 Centennial On Ice--BRONZE
1996 US Figure Skating Championships--GOLD

1995 US Figure Skating Postal Service Challenge (Team)--GOLD
1995 Nations Cup--GOLD
1995 Skate Canada--GOLD
1995 Skate America--GOLD
1995 Metropolitan Open (Best Of The Best)--SILVER
1995 Tri-Cities Pro-Am--4th
1995 Hershey's Kisses International Challenge--GOLD
1995 Worlds--4th
1995 US Nationals--SILVER

1994 Thrifty Challenge--BRONZE
1994 Trophee De France--BRONZE
1994 Skate America--SILVER
1994 US Ladies' Outdoor Challenge--GOLD
1994 Goodwill Games--SILVER
1994 Hershey's Kisses U.S. Pro-Am FS Championship--SILVER
1994 Worlds--8th
1994 US Nationals--SILVER
1994 World Juniors--GOLD

1993 Skate America--7th
1993 Olympic Festival--GOLD
1993 Gardena Spring Trophy--GOLD
1993 US Nationals--6th
1993 Pacific Coast Sectional--GOLD
1993 Southwest Pacific Regional--GOLD

1992 US Nationals (Junior)--9th
1992 Pacific Coast Sectional (Junior)--BRONZE
1992 Southwest Pacific Regional (Junior)--GOLD




pfffft! Not one single platinum or titanium. Gold is just soooo 1972.


I have three tritium medals.

...
And heart cancer. frown

Quirky

Quirky

Birmingham, AL
October 2005

JAN 08, 2006 01:00 AM

Mithril metals are where it's at, biatch.

crispy

crispy

NEWSWIRE

Philadelphia, PA

JAN 08, 2006 01:07 AM

She's no Tonya Harding.

SomethingStupid

SomethingStupid

North Hollywood, CA
March 2004

JAN 08, 2006 01:27 AM

anonymouse said:
Michelle Kwan needs to be punched in her constipated face. No, really.

First of all, this "groin" "injury" is bullshit. She just knows she'll get creamed because she can't compete with this new system. Also, she sucks. No, really. SHE SUCKS. So she's pretending she has an injury, and now she's petitioning for a free ticket to Torino? Fuck you, Kwan. Fuck you in the face.


LOUD NOISES!!!!

Meridon

Meridon

I'm lost
September 2005

JAN 08, 2006 02:31 AM

Am I the only one who noticed that the link in the original post is to an article in French that appears to be about soccer in Spain?

SomethingStupid

SomethingStupid

North Hollywood, CA
March 2004

JAN 08, 2006 02:50 AM

Meridon said:
Am I the only one who noticed that the link in the original post is to an article in French that appears to be about soccer in Spain?


Well, yes. Because that's not what it does for me. It's Reuters, and for some reason, Reuters links just show up with the Reuters page and no article text. Though the Reuters page was in English. I was messing around trying to get the article to work, and for some reason an article about the temperature of Asia being lower showed up. Now it just flat-out doesn't work again, and I'm giving up because the amount of time I've spent working on this (two minutes?) is way disproportionate to my interest in it. But I'm sure the article exists and whatever the problem is has to do with the way Reuters links don't work on this site.

But yeah, I think you're the first person to bother clicking. I'm familiar with the story, so it seemed pointless.

[Edited on Jan 08, 2006 by TedKoppel]

anonymouse

anonymouse

Miami Beach, FL
OLD SKOOL

JAN 08, 2006 08:39 AM

Fucking Reuters.

Bastardo

Bastardo

Boston, MA
January 2005

JAN 08, 2006 08:42 AM

TedKoppel said:

anonymouse said:
Michelle Kwan needs to be punched in her constipated face. No, really.

First of all, this "groin" "injury" is bullshit. She just knows she'll get creamed because she can't compete with this new system. Also, she sucks. No, really. SHE SUCKS. So she's pretending she has an injury, and now she's petitioning for a free ticket to Torino? Fuck you, Kwan. Fuck you in the face.


LOUD NOISES!!!!


I DON"T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!