NEWS: You Still Can't Have Sex with Rivers Cuomo

Come on, guys. Maybe he's just tired of sex, you know?

I mean, he was spread so thin he didn't know who he was. He was beet red, so ashamed of what he'd said. Monday night he was makin' Jenn, Tuesday night he was makin' Lynne, and Wednesday night he was makin' my boyfriend's mother Catherine and that's just a big problem if I ever heard one.

What could he do?!

Seriously though, the man needs to get laid. I read an interview where he was discussing groupie hijinx on tour between Blue Album and Pinkerton, in which he said (and I quote) "'Threesomes' would be an understatement." Clearly there is a correlation. GET OUT THERE AND TAKE SOME FOR THE TEAM, RIVERS! YOU'LL THANK US WHEN YOUR NEXT RECORD ISN'T EMBARRASSING!

You forget that he thinks Pinkerton was embarrassing.

You forget that all this lack of sex has clouded his judgment.

He's been screaming about how terrible that album is for longer than he's been celibate. Also, farbeit from me to judge a person for being a crazy asshole, but he's really starting to get on my nerves for some reason. He's like a Gallagher brother minus the amusement.

This is true, but I just can't believe he's serious. I had a friend once who hated Pinkerton. She turned out to be kind of off-kilter.

Hold him down while I punch him. It'll be fun.

rivers, if you're listening, which you arnt because you're a celebate bastard and probably dont even masterbate(ant that's sad for you):

PINKERTON WAS THE FUNKING SHITZ, YO!

you think that was embarrasing, but you like holla back girl? pah! gah! *shudder*

like i said, i can find me a better, geek, one who will fuck my brains out and not bitch about it.

edited to add more dork.



[Edited on Apr 20, 2006 by Conant]

And Rivers Cuomo is not? This is what you're arguing?

No, I'm saying that anyone who thinks Pinkerton is lame is quite clearly suffering from severe emotional problems. Rivers Cuomo included.

But, maybe Rivers just thinks Pinkerton was lame because everyone else thought it was lame when it came out and it didn't rock everyone's world like the Blue album. He poured his soul out on Pinkerton, and everyone said "eh, not as good as the last album." Crushed the pour geeky bastard's heart. That would take a lot to get over. It took a lot of us a long time to realize how awesome Pinkerton is. So, maybe Rivers will come around too.

But yeah, emotional problems for sure.

[Edited on Apr 22, 2006 by Avalokitesvara]

See, but that doesn't work because everyone didn't think it was lame when it came out. It got lambasted by the press, yeah, but so did the blue album. And there's been more than enough time since then to come around, but he never did, and now the things he says about it are worse than anything anyone said. Remember, by the time the green album came out in 2001, Pinkerton was considered a classic. And the reason it's called the green album is because it was supposed to be a return to form. It's been five years since then and he still thinks its horrible and, apparently, that "Beverly Hills" is a good song.

[Edited on Apr 22, 2006 by TedKoppel]

Meh. I'd do him.