What do you tell people graduating College?

I was joking around with one of my friends a few weeks ago. She was talking how she's graduating this spring and doesn't want to, gonna miss her friends, gonna have to find a place to live etc etc. She then said something along the lines of; " <sigh>, what should I do?"
I said, "Get an ice pack ready and some advil cuz you're gonna be hit with the truth. All those people you *thought* were your friends? Most of em will disappear and be nursing their own bump from getting hit with their own truth. Hope your Parents still have your bed cuz you'll be moving back in with them, I also hope you have a check ready for them cuz they do want that money back you *borrowed*. Want to get a job in the field you graduated in with all the other 1 million kids across the country? Yeah, hope you have a relative working at that bio-tech corporation to get you in, that will sure as hell help pay off those loans for the next 10 years than working at Fridays could. Yeah what you should do is get reaquainted with your new best friend, its called Reality, and fast."







......I didn't get laid that night

I contracted a disease that turned me into a lobster once.

It wouldn't have been so bad except I was working ina seafood restaurant at the time.

That was a tricky few days I can tell you.

Post-academic cynicism sets in within twenty one days of completing a course. By graduation, all hope is lost.

Statistically provable fact.

(Okay, mostly bullshit but you know i'm right)

I tell them Say, Friend, what time is it? Because I don't have a watch.

real life is going to reach up and smack her. She isn't going know what happened

I say "Wear sunscreen."

I have no imagination.

Awesome! What a great way to cut down those of us who are in college! What the hell would you want your friends from college to do? Hold your hand and guide you in life? Get real. Some people actually do keep friends from college...

Keep that up buddy, and you'll be writing your own ticket!

Also, I went to college, graduated, got a job in the field I studied, within 1 week of gradumacating. So, as the French would say, stick it in your ear.

HA HA i'm so f-'n funnay.

I'd tell them they should have been this guy

Grad school baby! I don't have 12 years under my belt, but I'll have 8 by the time I'm done and 3 degrees to boot. And I will actually come out making money.

I tell 'em what my daddy told me: "Great, now go get me a beer before I have to smack you around in front of all of your god damn friends."

This stuff scares the hell out of me. Expecially the phrase "its not what you know, its who you know" I fully expect that within a year after I graduate I will be drinking rum in a ditch somewhere.

nah Tangeu, my rant to my friend was just "hardcore joking" it happens, but if you work hard in school and know what you want you'll do just fine. There's truth in what I said, but point is, it was a very harsh joke kinda like all the marriage jokes before you get married ya know?

but you see, I am quite average in a very specialized field (programming) that is continuing to outscorce and is highly clique-ish, and I have no friends on the inside. On the plus side I have always been a fan of rum. Seriously tho, my fears are not unwarrented but thats not going to stop me.

I work in the field I studied. But I also don't have any friends.

Other people are overrated.

I usually ask them if I spelled this word correctly.

*snap*snap*snap*snap*

Congratulations.