Career or happiness?

Hey, this is probably the wrong place to ask this question, but here goes...

I'm currently a news reporter for an evening paper. It's a career job which has good prospects, is exactly the thing I trained for for three years at university and everyone thinks is a v v cool thing to do.

The trouble is? I'm desperately unhappy.

I'm currently living five hours away from my family and an hour away from my friends and I'm so homesick you wouldn't believe. I'm also not making enough money to make ends meet.

Worst of all, I still make regular mistakes at work and I don't seem to get on with the rest of the staff. I struggle to find news stories and every day I dread going into work. I cry most days and when I go to sleep I can't dream about anything that isn't work related. This isn't just occasional either, 'cos I can only think of one day in the past three months where I haven't had these dreams.

I'm sorely tempted at the mo to jack in journalism altogether, and get a different job, perhaps in the library service. Trouble is, it would involve leaving something I trained for for years, and would also mean slightly less pay if I go for the job I'm thinking of doing. Then again, I could live near my friends and would possibly be a helluva lot less stressed each day!

So, career or happiness- what do I do?

If anyone has any advice on this matter, I'd be eternally grateful. Many thanx in advance

[Edited on Nov 28, 2005 by methadonepretty]

Life is too short to do something that makes you miserable. Sure you went to school for journalism, but so what? If you dread going to work, and don't enjoy it you aren't doing yourself or your employer any favors.

Find something that you do want to do (easier said than done, I know) and put together a plan of action to get into that job.


Good luck.

Let me get this straight: You're desperately unhappy with your job, you don't make enough money to make ends meet, you dread going to work...AND...admittedly...you're not very good at what you do?

Assuming this is all true...you actually have to ASK if you should quit? Honey...quit the fucking job. Quit now. Go clean out your office and tell them you won't be back. There is nothing worse than a job you hate...nothign worse than dreading each and every moment at work. I've been there...and I know what you;re going through.

I wanted to be a police officer my whole life. I studied it in college and got a degree in Criminal Justice. 5 years of college devoted to the study of law & police work. I got what I thought was my dream job: I got hired by the New York City Police Department. The biggest & best (arguably) police department in the world. You knwo what? I hated, nay, LOATHED it. I was miserable. I didn't belong there. I was on two types of medication...just to allow me to sleep & be able to keep my food down. I agonized over the decision for weeks.

Then...I quit. I resigned and never looked back. I don't regret it for a moment. I knew that very instant that I made the right decision...I immediately felt a weight off my shoulders.

It doesn't end there though. I had to crawl back to my parents' house. The prodigal son returned...out of money...out of prospects....flat broke & homeless.

I worked mind-numbing, dead-end jobs for the next 3 years just making ends meet. I was able to tough it out, get my own apartment, buy a truck...and after a lot of hard work & determination...I now have my dream job...the one I actualyl dream about going to.

I became a firefighter 6 months ago. I never thought abotu becoming one...the job found ME. I walk to work with a smile on my face. I look forward to going to work each day. I am truly happy.

You will find somethign that makes you happy. And happy goes a very, very long way. It may take some time...but keep on fighting and you'll make it.

But seriously....if you have the ability to go back to your family...quit that horrible job, swallow a little pride and move on.

From someone who really knows what you;re going through...I sincerely hope you find the happiness that I did.

Go! get out of there!

Spend some time with your friends and family whilst you begin to sort your life out again as it sounds like each day is becoming a living hell

Quit, Your still so young. There are so many better chances out there for you to experience. Do it asap. You will feel so releaved.

if journalism was what you wanted it would seem a shame to jack it in, but you clearly can't carry on as you are!
if you are so unhappy being away from family & friends etc you aren't going to be any good at work, which itself feeds back into your ongoing unhappiness.
if you got the same job but back near your freinds would that still be what you wanted?
if so is there any way you could achieve this? do they have a local paper? does anyone at your current workplace have any contacts that would help you get a similar job somewhere better for you? is there anyone at work who would be sympathetic if you told them how you feel?
don't necessarily write off your dream career because of a bad first experience, see if it's fixable.
if you decide it ain't fixable then i agree with the others. and you're better off outa there on less pay doing something where you're happy, and you got the support of yer loved ones and a decent home/ social life.
i gave up a civil service job that gave me a decent wage, loads of time off, flexi time, and perks but it was shit, my blood pressure was goin up, and i too dreamt every nite about the problems that would be waiting for me in the morning.
i jacked it in to do a job i had wanted to do for years, i took a £5,000 cut in pay and was working more hours and on shifts, but i was happy and i felt i was going somewhere. i survived and you will too, what ever you decide.
i don't want to sound patronising but you're still young, at an age where you have the freedom and (i'm sure) the talents to do whatever you want in life.
we're here for a good time not for a long time
hope this helps

Get another job. Definitely. You're not going to last there anyway, if things are that bad. So, you need to make a decision, don't let them make it for you. In the mean time, the library thing looks good - it'll at least give you a change and some emotional support.
Maybe it's the paper you don't like? Or maybe you should look at freelancing. I mean, somebody writes for book clubs and supermarket magazines and for club-type magazines like Candis.

careers, while they may seem like it, aren't forever....and they aren't your life....be happy! why waste your time and everyone elses being miserable? we're not here to make money, we're here to make the most out of what we get....so fuck the job...go home, recoup, and figure out what really makes you happy....and then do that!

Quit. Take the library job, maybe explore other journalism type options, and take the time to build up a freelance portfolio, writing articles for magazines - writing about stuff you love.

Good luck.

Allow me to chime in with the chorus. There is nothing worth making yourself miserable over--and certainly not a career. Keep trying until you find something you like. If that proves to be the library job, great! If not, there's something else out there you'll like. I hope everything works out for you.

Do it. I have twice and when you pull the old career aeroplane out of the nosedive towards the mountains of destitution and sail over the peak to the new horizon it's a hell of a rush

And life's for living not regretting. Get out now.

Unless you feel that the long term benefits outweight the current misery then GET OUT. save yourself the heartache. I have endured chronic stress, people yelling at me, piss poor pay and miserable hours all so I could one day have my dream job. And now that I'm almost there, I love it. But I moved 3000 miles away from my family and friends and had many lonely sobbing nights. If your heart would be happier elsewhere don't waste any time getting there now.

Argh, find something else. DOO it.
You know you want to.

And he's a real American hero!!!11


And that was also very good advice.

i agree with all of the above posts..life is too short to be miserable..besides..things happen for a reason..you should talk to Luci

I don't believe in happiness as a state to be attained, but if you feel more complete around your loved ones, then keep them in your life as long as possible.

I made the decision to leave a terrible job, and it was terrifying. It was my first job out of law school, and I hated it. I was sick all the time, mentally and physically. I thought that if I quit it meant I wasn't cut out for law and that my $70K in tuition was all wasted.

Not so.

I found a better job - great coworkers, great work, excellent pay. I haven't been sick a day in three years. It was the best choice I ever made.

Hang in there until the time is right for you to move, but always always choose happiness.

I had a job in my field that I hated. I was always angry and stressed out because of it but it was really just the place I was at and not the job. I quit that job and was happy again for the first time in months and later found my current job. I'm still designing but now I enjoy my work and I'm much happier.

You don't have to quit journalism because it sucks where you are now, but I would definately leave a situation that makes you that unhappy and look for temporary work until you decide wether you really want to be a journalist or not.

Any job can bring a good amount of stress during the transition period. Not feeling like you fit in and those early blunders that come regardless of your talent can heighten that stress. As others have said, there can be a number of reasons why this is a poor fit. Maybe journalism isn't for you. I trained to be a high school teacher and found it wasn't what I wanted. Maybe journalism is for you, but this workplace or city isn't. Look to transition back towards family and friends. This doesn't have to be an all or nothing proposition, and a temporary retreat and regrouping doesn't have to turn into an unconditional surrender.

I have a new position at work that is very demanding. After five years in my prior position, I've gone into a job where I don't know everything. I make mistakes, I feel lost and confused at times, and I know it will be this way for quite a while. For the first month or so, I felt physically ill most mornings on the way to work. These days it's better, but I'm still much more stressed than I used to be. But I want this. I think I can improve and do well. I also really like my work environment and coworkers. I'm willing to struggle for the moment and see if I can make the adjustment.

I think you've received a lot of strong feedback. It's ultimately up to you to make the decision, and I wish you the best of luck. I hope you find a satisfying career and happiness. Rumor has it they're not mutually exclusive.

I pefer to think career then happiness. Work hard now and you can work less later.

Although if you can get a job with either better stature or pay then I say jump ship.

[Edited on Nov 28, 2005 by hadees]

Is there any way you could find a similar job closer to home? If you really wanted this career, don't let one bad experience put you off...you could take the other job as a temporary fix until you can find a more suitable position (could you also freelance?)
You sound very depressed (and I really feel for you) don't make it worse by letting yourself believe that the only options are your current job and the misery it entails or sacrificing your chosen career to be close to family/friends.
You say that you are making mistakes regularly at work, but are they that bad and in any greater number than what anyone else does? Is there a way that you could get an objective assessment of your work performance? (performance appraisal, quick talk with your boss etc.) I am curious about this because I know that when I am feeling low I tend to view situations as completely hopeless with no way out etc. and also develop a tendency to self-flagellate if I so much as make a spelling mistake...take care

Be happy!

I've been doing the same thing since I was 16, and I've never had a job where I didn't love what I do. Even the one job where the boss was an asshole, I left that day and got a much much better one a few weeks later.

I would never spend half of my waking life doing something I didn't enjoy doing, and I don't see why anyone else would.