Every year, the Jones Soda company releases a limited edition "holiday" pack of abomination-flavored sodas. This year's holiday lineup consists of "Brussels Sprout with Prosciutto," "Cranberry Sauce," "Turkey & Gravy," "Wild Herb Stuffing," and "Pumpkin Pie" -- unless you're lucky enough to find a "regional" pack, in which case you get treated to "Broccoli Casserole," "Smoked Salmon Paté," "Turkey & Gravy," "Corn on the Cob," and "Pecan Pie."

Sound like enough to turn your stomach? Luckily, Suicidegirls.com member DictionaryGirl is sampling all the sodas for us, so we don't have to. Read about her adventures in crazy soda world, as she drags unsuspecting family members and coworkers along with her.

About the "Wild Herb Stuffing" flavored soda:

Taste: Now -- I'm no turkey connoisseur, but I know a thing or two about stuffing. Stove Top and I go way back, and my homemade Thanksgiving dressing is the stuff of legends. THis soda was like no stuffing I have ever tasted in my life. Carrie and I agreed taht it tasted kind of like the components of stuffing (spices, dried fruit, souls of the damned), but somehow they just weren't adding up.

Aftertaste: Well... it... it was certainly a cleaner taste than the turkey flavor. The most precise description of the taste left in our throats is that this is what gummi bears rolled and coated in cliantro might taste like, should you ever decide you want to try such a thing. Tons of people love cilantro, so what do I know anyway? Only that those kinds of people probably adore this soda. Those same kidns of peopl ehate America and all that is good and right in this world.

Photos of people sampling the sodas add to the hilarity. So far, DictionaryGirl has reviewed "Turkey & Gravy," "Wild Herb Stuffing," and "Brussels Sprout with Prosciutto." Keep checking back as she finishes her flavor odyssey!

lilyk

I'm lost

December 2004

NOV 20, 2005 04:23 PM

That thread is true greatness.

EDIT: But to be honest, the mini-Haloween can flavors made me want to rip my teeth out before they could rot on contact.

[Edited on Nov 20, 2005 by lilyk]

TheFuckOffKid

NEWSWIRE

Australia

NOV 20, 2005 04:27 PM

Asked whether he liked his new salmon soda, van Stolk said: "I cannot finish a bottle, I just can't."

misstyrios

NEWSWIRE

Allston, MA

NOV 20, 2005 04:37 PM

Oh my god, I haven't laughed this hard in a while. Thanks, DictionaryGirl!

jake_lex

Lexington, KY

February 2003

NOV 20, 2005 04:39 PM

If one of your relatives gives you a pack of that shit, feel free to hit them. Hard.

Who drinks that shit?

Bollweevil

Running Springs, CA

July 2003

NOV 20, 2005 04:42 PM

I love it.

Someguysteve

USA

September 2005

NOV 20, 2005 04:43 PM

I am so getting these when I go back to Boise.

Baise

USA

January 2005

NOV 20, 2005 04:44 PM

DG's thread got a news item?

INFINITY TIMES 50 BILLION POINTS FOR TEAM DG!!!11111oneoneone

mamet

Charleston, SC

March 2005

NOV 20, 2005 04:45 PM

It's undoubtedy the best thread I've read since I've been here.

gut666

Moreno Valley, CA

April 2005

NOV 20, 2005 04:49 PM

they forgot chicken giblets and samonella laced turkey.

Its_Matt

United Kingdom

September 2003

NOV 20, 2005 04:53 PM

HAHAHA thats brilliant. Lets hope they hit english shores, or not after reading the reviews

PseudoNiMH

Garden City, ID

August 2005

NOV 20, 2005 04:54 PM

Someguysteve said:
I am so getting these when I go back to Boise.

Ditto.

Idjit

HOPEFUL

I'm lost

NOV 20, 2005 04:56 PM

Hah! She made the news wire - awesome!

ButchDapper

Australia

September 2005

NOV 20, 2005 05:13 PM

Click here for an amusing in-depth rundown of the flavours. Dictionarygirl already has.

_biblia_

Tuvalu

March 2005

NOV 20, 2005 05:19 PM

_DictionaryGirl_ also has a thread here on SG following her taste adventure.