_DG_ DRINKS THE HOLIDAYS: an extended study

Hello, friendly internets! Follow me, Dictionary Girl, on a wild adventure through the mysterious gastronomical delights of novelty soda!

Yes, I've read the reviews. I've been forewarned. But they were calling to me, calling with their fancy packaging and their fizzy pretty colors and their proceeds going to charity. So in the interest of science and ten dollars, I had no choice but to buy my very own Limited Edition 2005 Jones Soda Holiday Pack box.



Now, once you own one of these kinds of things, there's really nothing left to do except consume it on the internet and post about it at your own expense, so today I busted out the box and my continuous-shot camera and got down to business. I thought about what the first thing I tear into is when I sit down for Thanksgiving dinner, and the obvious answer was: the turkey. Therefore, this is what I'm starting with.

STAGE ONE: TURKEY AND GRAVY SODA

The fascinating thing is that they supply you with a wine list. Jones Soda Inc. recommends a rich pinot noir to compliment the lighter meat flavor of their Turkey and Gravy soda. Who am I to argue?



That, folks, is the Dinner of Champions. I threw that sucker in the freezer for fifteen minutes, just to get it nice and properly chilled. I know that you eat regular turkey hot, but something about the thought of hot turkey soda just made my stomach churn right then and there -- I have no idea why -- so I decided to go with the more familiar frosty cold soda.



It didn't explode when I opened it, nor did my face melt off á la Raiders of the Lost Ark. So, I pressed on.



Promising! A new favorite, perhaps?



Okay, okay. But as long as you hold it in your mouth, swish it around for appreciation, and then spit it out, it's tolerable. So I did that a couple times. But to really really really get the flavor of something, you have to swallow.



Dear God, what have I done. And this is only just the beginning. I still have four more flavors to get through, and I'm going to be a good sport and do them all. Stay tuned for next time, when I go head-to-head against Wild Herb Stuffing with Prosciutto!

[Edited on Nov 16, 2005 by _DictionaryGirl_]

Awesome.

oh, man - you are awesome. i can't wait for more...

*bookmarks thread*

I have never, ever, laughed as hard as I have reading this aloud to missustoothpick.

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

I cannot wait for episode two.

Saved!

Now I don't have to buy them myself.

I'm pretty sure you'll make a far better spokesperson, anyway.

Fag.

hahahaahaha!!

pure unadulterated awesomesauce

hahahahahahahahahahah........i'm STILL laughing.......and i think i saw that at target the other day....hahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahh

You wish!

I'm quite looking forward to that one. If it's anything like cranberry juice, I'm good to go!

Drinking proscuitto fills me with dread.

I love the "Why the fuck did I just put that in my mouth?" look on your face!!! I pass that gift box at Target all the time, but never had the nerve to go for it. Thanks for taking one for the team! Eagerly awaiting further reviews....

Cranberry anything is good so it's not really that special, though. I mean, I can find cranberry soda. Turkey? More difficult.

Wonderful analysis. I await your further study on the matter.

Brillent!

I ♥ you and the fact that you posted this in Silliness out of loyalty as opposed to Lifestyle, where it actually would have been appropriate.

This makes me happy.

*Claps loudly*

You are the bravest girl ever!

Oh wow. I salute you, DictionaryGirl!

Odd....it's showing up in "lifestyle" for me.

This thread is worth about an infinty of points to Team _DG_ whose fearless leader apparently has LOTS of timeo n her hands.

It is. It must have been moved, because the initial link I have for it was in Silliness.

Well, damn.

Well done, looking forward to chapters 2-5.

And everyone knows Wild Turkey is the breakfast of champions:



[Edited on Nov 17, 2005 by Idjiit]

OK I can't find it anywhere but we have a special 5 pack at my work.
We only got one in though.
It consists of the Turkey and Gravy, Greenbean Casserole, Salmon something, Pecan Pie, and one other one I can't think of.
I will check tonight and report back.

If anyone is willing to drink the whole bottle of Salmon something.
I may just have to buy it and mail it to you. Only condition being you have to document it here. lol