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11/6/05

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ACarr

ACarr

Asheville, NC
November 2004

NOV 05, 2005 06:39 PM

My fiance didn't get me anything for our 5 year anniversery, granted I asked him not to buy me anything since we have an up and coming wedding to pay for, he could have made me a card or written me a note or something. Am I being silly for being disapointed?

camdenroad

camdenroad

I'm lost
November 2004

NOV 05, 2005 06:47 PM

yes and no

they should have got you something as it is still an anniversery. just mention it to them in an ok way

GuavaMadness

GuavaMadness

Miami, FL
October 2005

NOV 05, 2005 06:51 PM

Did you tell him it is bothering you, or did you just tell us?

Tell him nicely, in a punchy, not picking a fight way. He needs to be trained.

The least he could do is draw a card, make a bubble bath and give you a cupcake.

howdidigethere

howdidigethere

Oroville, CA
June 2004

NOV 05, 2005 06:52 PM

what he said. when you ask someone not to do soemthing they usually wont. did you get him anything?

[Edited on Nov 05, 2005 by howdidigethere]

ACarr

ACarr

Asheville, NC
November 2004

NOV 05, 2005 06:55 PM

I got him something and he did take me out to dinner, but its not like him to not at least do something. I would have loved a love note or a back rub. I did mention that I would love for him to write me a little something, and he did, but it was really short and kinda sucky, and that was after I had prompted him.

howdidigethere

howdidigethere

Oroville, CA
June 2004

NOV 05, 2005 06:59 PM

NameGoesHere said:
I got him something and he did take me out to dinner, but its not like him to not at least do something. I would have loved a love note or a back rub. I did mention that I would love for him to write me a little something, and he did, but it was really short and kinda sucky, and that was after I had prompted him.



you cant force genius. ha! idunno. now that you splained the story. i see what youre getting at.

[Edited on Nov 05, 2005 by howdidigethere]

Joual

Joual

Israel
October 2005

NOV 05, 2005 07:04 PM

Unfortunately in relationships you have to communicate clearly, since people suck at that kinda thing. It'd be wonderful if people were all psychic, but until GE agrees to mass-produce my psych-ray 4000, I'm afraid you have to say next time "I don't want you to buy me something, how about a backrub and a sweet love me note, k?" It's putting the idea in their head without being so direct.

At least you got a nice dinner, eh smile.
Now all you have to do is tell him to make the wedding extra-awesome wink

Kristie

Kristie

Chicago, IL
December 2004

NOV 05, 2005 07:10 PM

I think you just need to communicate your needs. Sometimes, a girl's just gotta spell it out.

tehpeanut

tehpeanut

Houston, TX
September 2005

NOV 05, 2005 07:14 PM

i think you are being a girl...and i totally agree with you with the note....but next time maybe drop a hint

Sophie_Sass

Sophie_Sass

Los Angeles, CA
October 2003

NOV 05, 2005 07:15 PM

So you got dinner and a little note? What's the problem?

ACarr

ACarr

Asheville, NC
November 2004

NOV 05, 2005 07:31 PM

Sophie_Sass said:
So you got dinner and a little note? What's the problem?


Well the note was only after I asked him to write one. I'm all about him taking it upon himself to do something sweett.

Anton

Anton

Australia
September 2003

NOV 05, 2005 09:25 PM

Sometimes, terribly, when you say don't buy me anything, we have to save the cash, he may actually hear don't buy me anything, we have to save the cash, instead of work out what I want and buy it for me and make it totally awesome but not too expensive because we have to save for the wedding but I still want something really nice that shows how much you love me.

[Edited on Nov 06, 2005 by Anton]

dorwayin

dorwayin

I'm lost
April 2004

NOV 05, 2005 10:48 PM

He is a slacker.

DopeSpike

dopespike

Columbus, OH
October 2003

NOV 05, 2005 11:03 PM

NameGoesHere said:

Sophie_Sass said:
So you got dinner and a little note? What's the problem?


Well the note was only after I asked him to write one. I'm all about him taking it upon himself to do something sweett.



Well, in a recent relationship. I took my time in getting something signed because I thought it would of been an awesome spur the moment gift. I had been bitched out before when my ex told me not to get her anything when I thought it would be something she likes and wanted. When she got this dvd with signatures from one of her favorite bands. She called me woke my ass up and bitched me out because she told me she didn't want anything and didn't talk to me for a month.

Now when a girl tells me she doesn't want anything from now on, I won't do shit. If you are going to tell me that then I will take it as you wanting nothing.

So the lesson, if you want something, don't say you don't want anything.

Malinko

Malinko

HOPEFUL

Montreal, QC

NOV 05, 2005 11:18 PM

if my wife or husband said to not get them anything I probably wouldn't, and wouldn't even think of just getting them a card.. although that would of been a good idea but i probably wouldn't of even thought of it myself either

Morgan

Morgan

SUICIDEGIRL

Illinois, USA

NOV 06, 2005 03:40 AM

I agree with the person above me, yes and no. I would be disappointed too, but try to remember that the actual DAY is just a date. Your financee could have easily forgotten...I mean, shit, half the time I don't even know what the date is!

jason

jason

USA
August 2002

NOV 06, 2005 03:47 AM

NameGoesHere said:

Sophie_Sass said:
So you got dinner and a little note? What's the problem?


Well the note was only after I asked him to write one. I'm all about him taking it upon himself to do something sweett.



you asked him to write you a note? did he have a deadline? what was the minimum word count? of course it sucked. maybe he is not as romantic as you would like him to be. maybe he will never be as romantic as you would like him to be.

Melika

Melika

SUICIDEGIRL

I'm lost

NOV 06, 2005 03:54 AM

we dont do that bollocks.

Elijah

Elijah

SUICIDEGIRL

New York, USA

NOV 06, 2005 05:36 AM

if i say not to buy me anything, i dont mean it. i still expect a gift. if you have to ask for it then it doesnt count, and cards are not gifts. if some guy ever tried to give me only a card for our annivarsary (whats that cost? 3 bucks?!?!?!) id laugh in his face.
now before you start with the shallow, materialistic, bitch comments- let me explain. i know what im worth, i deserve to be treated well. i dont expect expensive gifts all the time, but if he doesnt make any effort to please me then hes not worth my time.

Stellinah

Stellinah

I'm lost
November 2005

NOV 06, 2005 06:02 AM

awwwwwwww men.
well if he took you out for dinner it is a gift itself, don't get mad. if you say don't buy they won't buy, and cards and stuff maybe it's not his thing.
but hey you're getting married... you have better stuff to think about wink

malmuud

malmuud

Newark, DE
July 2003

NOV 06, 2005 06:17 AM

NameGoesHere said:
My fiance didn't get me anything for our 5 year anniversery, granted I asked him not to buy me anything since we have an up and coming wedding to pay for, he could have made me a card or written me a note or something. Am I being silly for being disapointed?



Yes, you are being silly for feeling disappointed. He only did what you asked. And as mentioned in other posts, doing what you tell him to do is usually the best strategy.

Now a better question to answer would be: why did you tell him not to buy you anything when you actually wanted something?

Elijah

Elijah

SUICIDEGIRL

New York, USA

NOV 06, 2005 06:25 AM

malmuud said:
Now a better question to answer would be: why did you tell him not to buy you anything when you actually wanted something?


thats what girls do.
why? because we like to have guys think about us, surprise us, appreciate us, do something romantic without being asked.

PerilSensitive

PerilSensitive

Houston, TX
March 2003

NOV 06, 2005 06:25 AM

Ah, the joys of trying to decipher the inscrutable minds of women. Been there, forgot the date, suffered for it.

I have learned to ignore the words, and always do something for any even barely significant date. I always have a backup plan/gift already prepared in case I forget one.

Should you be upset? Only if you tell him how you felt about it, and he does it a couple more times. If you say nothing, he learns nothing. Guys are like puppies and if you don't rub our noses in it, we are going to crap on the carpet again and again.

Blueberries

Blueberries

I'm lost
September 2005

NOV 06, 2005 06:27 AM

Elijah said:

malmuud said:
Now a better question to answer would be: why did you tell him not to buy you anything when you actually wanted something?


thats what girls do.
why? because we like to have guys think about us, surprise us, appreciate us, do something romantic without being asked.


exactly

Finch

Finch

SUICIDEGIRL

Thailand

NOV 06, 2005 06:33 AM

Elijah said:
thats what girls do.
why? because we like to have guys think about us, surprise us, appreciate us, do something romantic without being asked.



awh, the girly-sneakiness. which is totally true tongue gifts aren't really that important to me, they never have been. and if i don't get something i'll really just drop it and not really be too disappointed. but...make me something, surprise me, make an effort in some way...and you'll have me in a little puddle at your feet.

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