forgiveness

so if you've truly forgiven someone for hurting you, can you still be mad about it? can you still be hurt by the way you were treated? angry when you remember what happened? does forgiveness mean amnesia? void of feeling?

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

No.

No.

Only if you use the term "forgive and forget".
I, personally, forgive, but don't forget.

You don't have to forget it, but you have to be over it. Forgiveness means the end of bitterness and payback.

Did you truly forgive them? Are you truly still hurt? Those are the only things that matter.

i think so and yes.

I've been thinking about this as well, its trust for me, if you were burned once, does that really ever come back? I know I am still in love, but the trust takes time, lots of time. Am I still mad, sometimes yes.

if you are burtn and you are going to not let it go you can say you forgive but you don't, you will hold that over the other persons head til it directly/indirectly rips your relationship apart...

TRUST = relationship trust=RUNAWAY

Oracle said:
if you are burtn and you are going to not let it go you can say you forgive but you don't, you will hold that over the other persons head til it directly/indirectly rips your relationship apart...

i don't think this applies in my case. i don't want to be a constant reminder to him what happened. in fact, i don't want to think about it, discuss it, dwell on it anymore. but sometimes, something happens and it reminds me and i feel sad and angry and wish that it hadn't happened. but i don't wish to punish him. so that's forgivenss, right?

Forgiving and forgetting are two very different things. It's very possible to forgive but forgetting doesn't happen.

If you do "forget" you're only setting yourself up to allow the same situation to happen again.

but if you remember then every little thing that he does is going to be a reminder...it will eat at you til you start indirectly taking it out him, he has lost your trust and you will make him pay for it...weither you know it or not

If you tell someone you've forgiven them, it doesn't erase what was done. I means you've processed it enough to eventually get over it and are letting go of your right to bitch at or about the one you forgave. If you can't do that, you haven't really forgiven them. You don't have to forget it, but it's not something to dredge up to accompany every future wrong.

If you're having problems with what happened inside, perhaps you offered forgiveness too soon.

"forgive everyone for yr own sins", said kerouac...

Im a spitefull cunt so never forgive or forget. i cant I've tried

I tend to forgive fairly easily. The "forget" part I have a bit of trouble with. I always keep things in the back of my mind. Maybe that's not the best way to do it but that's how I am.

Sounds reasonable to me and a damn sight more honest than pretending to have forgotten about it and then using it against him later, like many people would do.

forgiving is something we have to do for ourselves more than for the person who has wronged us, a big part of that is letting go of the pain and anger because it will only continue to damage us and/or possibly lead to making a bad situation even worse though it's not an easy thing to do, sometimes it's next to impossible. on the other hand remembering what happened might just be the only good thing that comes out of a bad situation because it is a lesson learned.

You can forgive, but you'll never forget. Anyone who says they do- is well... Lying.

[Edited on Nov 04, 2005 by PuddinCat]

Forgive, yes. Forget, no.

If somebody mistreated me in a way that I had not thought possible before, I'll probably be able to forgive them. But the way I'm seeing this person will have changed forever, There are certain things that can't be undone, even though they can be forgiven.

I agree with this post. There's nothing worse than saying you've forgiven someone but then bringing it up in arguements. I guess it depends if the person you're forgiving is still doing the stuff that you've forgiven them for.

Damn right! Forgiveness is overrated.

yes. this is key.

There is major wisdom in this philosophy. Although you might forget about it if it is a small enough offense, like some guy cutting you off in traffic, if it is something major, you don't want to forget about something that you might want to avoid doing in the future to somone else, even if that's not the case, you still want to keep your wisdom because of specific experience, but don't hold a grudge...