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Kleio

Kleio

Winona, MN
January 2006

JUL 06, 2007 09:55 PM

Burial Ground, aka Le Notti del Terrore. I don't know why Italy had such a fucking fascination with zombie movies, or why I can't find a very good example of their attempts, but this is by far the worst. Peter Bark alone made it hard to watch.

The Covenant. I don't ask for a lot when it comes to movies. I'll see something if it seems like it might have cool-looking effects, or good cinematography, or be kind of fun, or whatever. I swear that's why I let my roommate drag me to this. I'll never forget our vow a half-hour into this flick:

"Ok, we'll give it another half-hour, and if it doesn't stop sucking, we'll leave."

:ten minutes later:

"ONLY FUCKING TEN MINUTES??? SWEET FUCKING... Let's go."

ONLY movie I've ever walked out of.

Truth or Dare: A Critical Madness Just because. It was baaaad. I hope Nick_Heretic never makes me watch this again.

spamtwo

spamtwo

United Kingdom
April 2006

JUL 07, 2007 12:06 AM

Stop or My Mom will Shoot - just awful, really, really awful

Earaserhead - hate this film almost as much as I hate the oen above

The Excorsist - Simply for the part when the mum hears a roar in the loft and decided she must have mice, since when did mice roar you stupid stupid woman? It ruined the entire film for me and made me hate it

malkav11

malkav11

Saint Paul, MN
July 2003

JUL 07, 2007 12:17 AM

Kleio said:
The Covenant. I don't ask for a lot when it comes to movies. I'll see something if it seems like it might have cool-looking effects, or good cinematography, or be kind of fun, or whatever. I swear that's why I let my roommate drag me to this. I'll never forget our vow a half-hour into this flick:

"Ok, we'll give it another half-hour, and if it doesn't stop sucking, we'll leave."

:ten minutes later:

"ONLY FUCKING TEN MINUTES??? SWEET FUCKING... Let's go."

ONLY movie I've ever walked out of.



That was one of those movies that looked kinda vaguely interesting at first glance, but as I saw more and, well, the reviews, I decided to steer way, way clear. Sounds like that was a good plan.

cuntrebecca

cuntrebecca

Sanford, FL
October 2006

JUL 07, 2007 02:33 PM

Nacho Libre
Click
Spanglish

Mainly because they were major disappointments for me.

franky77

franky77

I'm lost
July 2007

JUL 07, 2007 03:00 PM

Hmm....so many bad movies, and only 3 to choose from...

I'd say 3 that come to mind are..

1) Pearl Harbor-- instead of focusing on the event, it becomes some cheesy love story , totally inaccurate story and Hollywoodized beyond belief

2) Dumb and Dumberer -- aptly named movie

3) Epic Movie

I'll add more later, and those are only based on movies I've seen, although I heard Borat was pretty dumb. Anyone see that ?

Fanglorious

Fanglorious

Orlando, FL
January 2006

JUL 08, 2007 08:06 PM

Either my eyes are deceiving me, or I have yet to see a single mention of Master of Disguise. Seriously, Dana Carvey is funny...but why?

What I recall of Black Knight was horrid.

I'm not a Tom Hanks fan, but I'm surprised Cast Away got no mention either. Wilson should have gotten paid better than Hanks.

MessyJessy

MessyJessy

Fort Myers, FL
August 2005

JUL 08, 2007 08:12 PM

Fanglorious said:
Either my eyes are deceiving me, or I have yet to see a single mention of Master of Disguise. Seriously, Dana Carvey is funny...but why?



joker_

joker_

Minneapolis, MN
October 2005

JUL 08, 2007 10:35 PM

Clueless

I can't think of any others that were as bad as that movie. Even Doom had some minor entertainment value.

Westley

Westley

Vatican City
April 2004

JUL 08, 2007 11:10 PM

Fanglorious said:
Either my eyes are deceiving me, or I have yet to see a single mention of Master of Disguise. Seriously, Dana Carvey is funny...but why?

\

zoom image

spamtwo

spamtwo

United Kingdom
April 2006

JUL 09, 2007 01:26 AM

should also have said U571, for totalling changing the facts of who and how the Enigma Machine was captured.

TheInsomniac

TheInsomniac

Washington, DC
October 2003

JUL 09, 2007 05:10 AM

malkav11 said:
I generally avoid bad movies, so it's not very often that I add to my most horrible list. However:

1. Manos - The Hands of Fate.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck did this movie get made? Seriously? I mean, I know the business was a bit woolier back when it came out, but it is quite seriously the worst movie that I have ever, ever seen. Hands down. No question. And I mean bad as in woefully, utterly inept in every possible way. (There are certainly more disgusting or vile movies out there, and destructions of favorite franchises, and abominable book adaptations, but nothing this comprehensively, epically awful in the basic building blocks of moviedom.) The MST3Kization is the only way any sane individual should ever watch this, and even then it's a brutal experience.



To the best of my knowledge, wasn't it self-financed by a car salesman (or something like that) who simply had a dream to make a movie one day?

Cosmo

Cosmo

Lansdale, PA
November 2003

JUL 09, 2007 09:13 AM

SaintInsomniac said:

malkav11 said:
I generally avoid bad movies, so it's not very often that I add to my most horrible list. However:

1. Manos - The Hands of Fate.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck did this movie get made? Seriously? I mean, I know the business was a bit woolier back when it came out, but it is quite seriously the worst movie that I have ever, ever seen. Hands down. No question. And I mean bad as in woefully, utterly inept in every possible way. (There are certainly more disgusting or vile movies out there, and destructions of favorite franchises, and abominable book adaptations, but nothing this comprehensively, epically awful in the basic building blocks of moviedom.) The MST3Kization is the only way any sane individual should ever watch this, and even then it's a brutal experience.



To the best of my knowledge, wasn't it self-financed by a car salesman (or something like that) who simply had a dream to make a movie one day?


Yes, something along those lines.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)


If you don't have time to read the in-depth account, here's the short version: Sometime in the mid 1960's, Hal Warren met Stirling Silliphant, who was visiting El Paso to scout out film locations (Silliphant would later go on to write screenplays for real films like In the Heat of the Night and The Towering Inferno, and not-so-real films like The Swarm). After several conversations with Silliphant, Hal Warren somehow got it into his head that he could make a movie just as well as anybody in Hollywood. After pounding out a script (tentatively called The Lodge of Sins), he rounded up a few college kids to be his crew, then got some actors from the local community theater and a few models from a nearby agency to be his cast. (Say what you want about ol' Hal, but he must have been a hell of a salesman to convince so many others that he could really do this.)

Finally, he secured a camera and got down to business. The camera that Hal used, unfortunately, was a 16mm Bell & Howell model that had to be wound by hand, meaning it could only record film for roughly thirty seconds at a time. (This is the reason for most, though not all, of the choppy editing work you'll see in the film.) In addition, it couldn't record sound; Therefore, all dialogue and sound effects were dubbed in later. (It's said that nearly all of the voices you hear in this movie were provided by the same three or four people.)

In spite of all of this, Hal somehow managed to get "Manos" booked in an actual El Paso theater, and it even got a fair amount of coverage in the local press leading up to its premiere. However, at the first showing, nonstop audience laughter prompted the cast and crew to sneak out halfway through. And after an almost non-existent theatrical run, this movie was promptly consigned to the compost heap of obscurity, where it languished for decades before finally being resurrected by MST3k.



The best way to enjoy that movie, is through the review on
agonybooth.com (where I got the information in the spoiler)

Always hard to choose just 3 worst movie, I'll add to the Manos 2 of my favorite other reviews from agonybooth:
Batman & Robin.
Superman 3


Metaverse

Metaverse

USA
March 2005

JUL 09, 2007 06:21 PM

Battlefield Earth : turned what was a pretty good book into the biggest pile of shit I have ever seen..thanks Jon Travolta you fucking jackass.

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zisou: first movie I've ever walked out on. I left 40 minutes in, I couldn't take anymore. I was very disappointed. Expected more from it.

All 3 Star Wars prequels: The only saving grace in any of them was Ewan Mcgregor. Liam Neeson was good in the first one as well. But Samuel Jackson as a Jedi Master? LOL. The fight scenes weren't to bad..well put together. But Hayden Christenson is one of the worst actors I have ever seen. I suck, and I could have played Anakin better I have no doubt. The scripts were terrible. And as much as I love Natalie Portman...I will never forget the worst fucking line ever uttered in almost any movie...."Hold me like you did on Naboo". STUPID!! Need I even mention the end of Ep 3 when newly named Vader raises his arms and goes "NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

I grew up seeing the originals when they came out and loved the originals so much. Thanks Lucas for ruining what was once great you large asshole.

teddy__kgb

teddy__kgb

Albuquerque, NM
February 2007

JUL 11, 2007 02:09 PM

rabidrabbit said:
Stop or My Mom will Shoot - just awful, really, really awful

Earaserhead - hate this film almost as much as I hate the oen above

The Excorsist - Simply for the part when the mum hears a roar in the loft and decided she must have mice, since when did mice roar you stupid stupid woman? It ruined the entire film for me and made me hate it



dude, ERASERHEAD was lynch's final project to the american film institute. any success it enjoyed afterwards was a sheer testament to the subversive and often misunderstood (or should i say not understood) genius that is david lynch. he is one of the proto-typical 'alternative' directors of my generation. eraserhead is one of the most freakishly intense movies ive ever seen. i wanted to dislike it on so many levels, but it was such an incredible experience from moment one for me, that i have to put it near the top of my favorites all-time. kind of like GUMMO.

THE EXORCIST??? one of the best horror flicks ever loses its integrity with you because of some bs tangent??? does not compute.

that other piece of poop you listed belongs here, and ill agree ERASERHEAD is debatable, but i defy you to find one other person on the planet who would put THE EXORCIST here.

what are you smoking? maybe it affected your spelling, too.

ckdexterhaven

ckdexterhaven

USA
December 2005

JUL 11, 2007 03:32 PM

Actually, in my previous top 3 I screwed modern. If we're talking about the worst movie of all-time, then I can say without a shadow of a doubt that this is the worst cinema atrocity ever committed...

zoom image
That's it, that's the list!

If you haven't seen it, don't. If you have (in any form), then you can share my pain. I haven't watched it in months, and I still feel the pain.

malkav11

malkav11

Saint Paul, MN
July 2003

JUL 11, 2007 09:33 PM

Actually, I really really didn't like the Exorcist. I didn't think it was remotely scary. I thought, in fact, that it was dreadfully dull. But it probably doesn't belong on a "worst movies of all time" list.

spamtwo

spamtwo

United Kingdom
April 2006

JUL 12, 2007 12:03 AM

vegascoyote said:

rabidrabbit said:
Stop or My Mom will Shoot - just awful, really, really awful

Earaserhead - hate this film almost as much as I hate the oen above

The Excorsist - Simply for the part when the mum hears a roar in the loft and decided she must have mice, since when did mice roar you stupid stupid woman? It ruined the entire film for me and made me hate it



dude, ERASERHEAD was lynch's final project to the american film institute. any success it enjoyed afterwards was a sheer testament to the subversive and often misunderstood (or should i say not understood) genius that is david lynch. he is one of the proto-typical 'alternative' directors of my generation. eraserhead is one of the most freakishly intense movies ive ever seen. i wanted to dislike it on so many levels, but it was such an incredible experience from moment one for me, that i have to put it near the top of my favorites all-time. kind of like GUMMO.

THE EXORCIST??? one of the best horror flicks ever loses its integrity with you because of some bs tangent??? does not compute.

that other piece of poop you listed belongs here, and ill agree ERASERHEAD is debatable, but i defy you to find one other person on the planet who would put THE EXORCIST here.

what are you smoking? maybe it affected your spelling, too.



as for the list they happen to be the three films that I sat through and enjoyed the least, therefore they make up my list of Worst Three Movies of All time. It's quite simple really, the clue is in the title to the thread

as for the spelling, like I could care less

teddy__kgb

teddy__kgb

Albuquerque, NM
February 2007

JUL 12, 2007 12:25 AM

im frightened to ask, but what are some of your favorite movies?

spamtwo

spamtwo

United Kingdom
April 2006

JUL 12, 2007 01:29 AM

vegascoyote said:
im frightened to ask, but what are some of your favorite movies?



my profile you'll find them there.

no Citizen Kane I'm afraid, or other favourite film snob films. Just the ones I happend to enjoy watching the most

teddy__kgb

teddy__kgb

Albuquerque, NM
February 2007

JUL 12, 2007 01:36 AM

i like all the ones i recognize. breakfast at tiffanys is a film snob film. excellent movie, too. i end up liking most of the film snob films and a lot of others, too.

Elisabeth

Elisabeth

San Francisco, CA
December 2002

JUL 12, 2007 11:15 AM

The Crow: Wicked Prayer

Flesh Eating Mothers <--the premise is that a venereal disease turns an entire town of two-timing mothers into cannibals! Sounded promising, but alas, no.

Anything with Anne Heche, but most notably Wag the Dog and the Psycho remake. I want my life back that I spent watching those turds.

Oren

Oren

United Kingdom
January 2006

JUL 12, 2007 05:53 PM

1) Queen of the Damned.
Giant steaming heap of shit which totally bastardises the book.

2) Cradle of Fear.
Just...........................why?!

3) The Wicker Man remake with Nicolas Cage.
Don't get me started on this one.

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