Kung Fu master Xian Gao, who has trained martial arts specialists for 30 films and appeared in Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, has been arrested for allegedly running a very special kind of martial arts acadamy in Long Island.

A martial arts expert and movie start has been busted for allegedly running a brothel inside his Long Island studio. Police say the kung fu academy was really a front for prostitution.

Today, his relatives and coworkers came to support Gao, not in his martial arts studio, but in the courtroom where he was charged with promoting prostitution and criminal nuisance. Part of Gao's academy, which is located next to a child day care in a strip mall, is leased to an asian bodyworks massage parlor, which investigators claim is nothing more than a front for prostitution.

What a workout training there must have been!

Vaux

I'm lost

January 2008

SEP 16, 2005 08:32 PM

Woah. Wonder if they all knew kung-fu...

Sophie_Sass

Los Angeles, CA

October 2003

SEP 16, 2005 08:34 PM

A "happy ending" with kung fu grip!

dontpooyourself

Austin, TX

March 2005

SEP 16, 2005 08:58 PM

C'mon, show me an asian massage parlor that won't supply a happy ending or two and I'll show you an unlikely situation. At least this one contributed something else.

rockepidemic

Kansas City, MO

December 2002

SEP 16, 2005 08:59 PM

Uh oh. Sounds like they were using a little too much of the open palm to closed fist technique.

TheFuckOffKid

NEWSWIRE

Australia

SEP 16, 2005 09:05 PM

"Special one-on-one sparring sessions" available in the back room....

D0BERMANN

Quebec, QC

May 2004

SEP 16, 2005 09:11 PM

I guess they don't need a pimp.

theseeman

Asheville, NC

December 2002

SEP 16, 2005 09:15 PM

Can you defeat my Wu Tang style?

Subrosa

San Francisco, CA

July 2004

SEP 16, 2005 09:19 PM

Best. Thread title. Ever.

Sesshomaru

Keene, NH

January 2004

SEP 16, 2005 09:22 PM

They must be teaching trouser snake style kung fu

Shal

Los Angeles, CA

October 2002

SEP 16, 2005 09:29 PM

Subrosa said:
Best. Thread title. Ever.

I admit it... 90% of the reason I published this story was just to use this title. The other 10% was the inevitable puns that would follow.

thefreak

NEWSWIRE

Gardner, MA

SEP 16, 2005 10:04 PM

Sophie_Sass said:
A "happy ending" with kung fu grip!

Someone beat me to the "kung-fu grip" crack.

-TM

Gilby

Bridgeville, PA

October 2004

SEP 16, 2005 10:11 PM

This reminds me about a stand-up skit about a movie that was a cross between a Kung Fu movie and a porno flick.

TANK_Ex_Mortis

Yellow Springs, OH

January 2004

SEP 16, 2005 10:38 PM

Sounds like an award-winning documentary in the making. Someone get Stephen Chow on this!

Gumshoe

Peoria, AZ

August 2005

SEP 17, 2005 07:52 AM

Not surprising at all. Anyone that can swing a sword around their head while flipping backwards doing the spilts must be a great lay.

fpkk

United Kingdom

June 2003

SEP 17, 2005 08:03 AM

"Very good Daniel San, now... rimjobs."

big_trouble

Plymouth, MI

OLD SKOOL

SEP 17, 2005 11:38 AM

There was a movie a few years back where one of the characters was asked how his date the night before had went. I can't remember if he reacted at all before answering, "I got ninja fucked". That phrase has stuck w/ me ever since and remains a personal favourite.

I can imagine there was a lot of ninja fucking going on at this place. I'm just sorry I missed out.

Deux

Oak Grove, KY

January 2003

SEP 17, 2005 04:11 PM

fpkk said:

"Very good Daniel San, now... rimjobs."

Ha!

Deux

Oak Grove, KY

January 2003

SEP 17, 2005 04:12 PM

Kittie

Stow, OH

August 2003

SEP 17, 2005 04:12 PM

those cats were fast as lightning.

RawData

East Stroudsburg, PA

August 2005

SEP 17, 2005 04:24 PM

as once said on a recalled bloodhound gang CD. he gets a hand job that could cost him his life.

Track 4 on Fire, Water, Burn called Yellow Fever. I will admit that it is wrong but it is quite funny at times.

oddioblender

Fort Worth, TX

September 2005

SEP 17, 2005 04:25 PM

your fortune says "love will flow like water when the branch is held firm."

lastpenguin

I'm lost

June 2003

SEP 17, 2005 04:40 PM

a whorehouse full of kung fu masters... i'm sure there's the plot of a straight-to-video action movie in there somewhere

PaulNikon

Palm Bay, FL

February 2003

SEP 17, 2005 06:51 PM

ImTheSuperFreak said:

Sophie_Sass said:
A "happy ending" with kung fu grip!

Someone beat me to the "kung-fu grip" crack.

-TM

Me too.

Vaux

I'm lost

January 2008

SEP 17, 2005 09:07 PM

lastpenguin said:
a whorehouse full of kung fu masters... i'm sure there's the plot of a straight-to-video action movie in there somewhere

Probably has Cynthia Rothrock in it. Man, she stinks.

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Los Angeles, CA

October 2002

SEP 16, 2005 08:26 PM

I'm lost

January 2008

SEP 16, 2005 08:32 PM

Los Angeles, CA

October 2003

SEP 16, 2005 08:34 PM

Austin, TX

March 2005

SEP 16, 2005 08:58 PM

Kansas City, MO

December 2002

SEP 16, 2005 08:59 PM

NEWSWIRE

Australia

SEP 16, 2005 09:05 PM

Quebec, QC

May 2004

SEP 16, 2005 09:11 PM

Asheville, NC

December 2002

SEP 16, 2005 09:15 PM

San Francisco, CA

July 2004

SEP 16, 2005 09:19 PM

Keene, NH

January 2004

SEP 16, 2005 09:22 PM

Los Angeles, CA

October 2002

SEP 16, 2005 09:29 PM

NEWSWIRE

Gardner, MA

SEP 16, 2005 10:04 PM

Bridgeville, PA

October 2004

SEP 16, 2005 10:11 PM

Yellow Springs, OH

January 2004

SEP 16, 2005 10:38 PM

Peoria, AZ

August 2005

SEP 17, 2005 07:52 AM

United Kingdom

June 2003

SEP 17, 2005 08:03 AM

Plymouth, MI

OLD SKOOL

SEP 17, 2005 11:38 AM

Oak Grove, KY

January 2003

SEP 17, 2005 04:11 PM

Oak Grove, KY

January 2003

SEP 17, 2005 04:12 PM

Stow, OH

August 2003

SEP 17, 2005 04:12 PM

East Stroudsburg, PA

August 2005

SEP 17, 2005 04:24 PM

Fort Worth, TX

September 2005

SEP 17, 2005 04:25 PM

lastpenguin

I'm lost

June 2003

SEP 17, 2005 04:40 PM

Palm Bay, FL

February 2003

SEP 17, 2005 06:51 PM

I'm lost

January 2008

SEP 17, 2005 09:07 PM