NEWS: Testosterone Fuled Idiocy May Shorten Your Life; Idiots Flabberghasted

CULTURE: Testosterone-Fueled Idiocy May Shorten Your Life; Idiots Flabberghasted

Women, traditionally, live longer than men. If we are to ignore the possibility that this stems from some unlikely genetic throwback to the praying mantis – a statement that can be discounted through the simple examination of just how many of my ex-lovers are still breathing – this is something of a mystery. Though it has been posited that the loathed monthly visit and the mixed blessings it brings might have something to do with this, a new study examining the relationship between sexism present in a society and the ubiquitous age gap brings us to a startling proposition: men are haunted by the malicious ghosts of ten thousand dead feminists.

I'm a little suspicious of it, and I'd love to get my hands on the report, but it appears that the muchos evil patriarchy is screwing over boys.

Which, to be fair, should surprise exactly zero people. In any society where some idolise the likes of Johnny Knoxville, a man renowned for his consistently surprising propensity for not dying, as the epitome of manly expression there are certain to be casualties. As long as little boys grow up taught the kind of nonsense I observed in high school, women – by virtue of being taught they needn't actually take part in the testosterone-fueled foolishness – are going to be less to die jumping out of a helicopter five miles over the desert clad only in a protective covering of their own trailing faeces.

When we do the symbolic Anime depicting the struggle for gender equality there needs to be a point where the female character strikes a dramatic pose and proclaims 'The Ghosts of Ten Thousand Dead Feminists are Behind me!' Righteous battle or spirited debate should ensue.

Damn you - where's my pencil?

And they shoudl do a little naked dance to a rainbow background as they change into their dabating/battle outfits.

Hah!

Where do the ten thousand dead feminist comesin? I don't understand that bit.

You're right, girls are boring.

Sociobiologists/evolutionary psychologists theorize that the males with the best health and the highest status have always been the ones most attrative to women. Sorry to use the most cliché example, but the male peacocks with the brightest and biggest plumage are the ones most attractive to female peacocks. The bright plumage serves no other purpose than for sexual selection... obviously their plumage makes it difficult to hide from predators. (Unlike the plain-jane females.)

But not only that, males compete intra-sex as well. Have you ever seen two females pull up to a red light and then race each other?

And sorry, but I DO think Johnny Knoxville is kind of hot.

It's perfectly obvious that more men should wear makeup.

Why stop there? I'm going to clown college.

i think it just follows along with people leading stressful lives die earlier too.....hatin on the females gets you in the end, BITCHES!

I've been...trust me it ain't helping..

Would you rather die of old age... or of being shot out of a cannon into a huge pit of snakes while wearing a meat thong?

I know which one I'd pick. Go Johnny.

Yes, the death rate in men was higher, but how does it compare to the death rate in women in the same country? The overall death rate is probably higher in those countires, it's nothing to do with men.

And I could jest that if all those women are getting murdered, surely that's reducing their life expectancy more...