NEWS: Pizza Tycoon Builds Town to Keep Sinners Out

CULTURE: Pizza Tycoon Builds Town to Keep Sinners Out

Domino's Pizza founder and conservative Catholic activist Tom Monaghan has announced his plans to start construction on a Catholic-themed town in south Florida. The town will center on his Ave Maria University, which is now under construction, and will feature the largest cross in the United States and a sixty feet tall Jesus, complete with blood.

Of course, the idea of a Catholic run town creates problems. Monaghan’s associates admit that they will not be able to keep pagans from invading their Catholic wonderland. But Monaghan has made it clear that only conservative religious beliefs will be welcomed.

You know, if the guy wants to live in a Catholics only city, I here there's a really nice one in Italy... Vatican something or other....

Hoo, this is going to suck.

So he doesn't like porn hu? Okay, I'm boycotting Dominoes Pizza!

EDIT: Dominoes not Pizza Hut . . . my bad!

[Edited on Aug 31, 2005 8:28PM]

Great! Another Jesus statue to cum on!

Dominos, man. Dominos.

Better boycott Pizza Hut too just to be safe.

so when a big hurricane comes and washes it away what are they gonna do, build noah's ark?

I'm going to buy an old ice cream truck and retrofit it to sell porn, condoms, and dildos. Instead of the theme to Popeye, the speakers will play Lords of Acid's "Pussy".

No to nitpick, but this was in the news over a month ago.

Wow...gas prices and now this? I picked a damn good time to put in my resignation notice at Domino's.

Ahahahahahahaha. He wanted to build that cross on Domino's Farms (in Ann Arbor), and the City Council (or whoever) said, "Umm, no. That would look stupid."

So then he said, "FINE. Then I won't put up my awesome light display at Christmas anymore!!!"

And the City said, "Uhh... okay. Whatever. "

Then he took all his toys and ran home.

The story was in the paper, written almost exactly like that, and entertained the hell out of everyone for quite some time.

You know what? Great for them. Get as many of the people who think like that together. Gets them out of our hair.

Besides, society at large might learn something from it. Maybe it'll be peaceful and nearly crime-free, and everyone will be happy. More likely it'll take about a generation or two to dry up into undereducated, impoverished, married-in-their-teens-with-5-kids trailer parks, and everyone will have Ave Maria degrees that no one outside town will respect until the school accepts mainstream science over things like ID.

Regardless, I say do the experiment. Hopefully someone will take the initiative to set up an athiest/deist exclusive community somewhere, and we'll get to compare/contrast the results.

Remember, the people of Massachusetts started this way (i.e. religious exclusive communities). They decided there were better options on their own, over time.

/"complete with blood." That's awesome.
//I hope the porn industry releases stats on how many DVDs it mails to this town.

They want to live appart from the rest of us? I like that plan.

[Edited on Sep 01, 2005 11:42AM]

Go ahead and boycott both Domino's and Pizza Hut. Both make miserable pizza in my opinion.

Don't you remember the Rush Limbaugh Pizza Hut ads?

Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out of town, Tom!

City Council actually used the " "?

I don't listen much to Dittohead Number One, but yes, I'd only enter a Pizza Hut at gunpoint. Maybe. The last time I had their salad bar it tasted as if their refrigerators had malfunctioned. Yuck!

As for Domino's, my father's pizza beat theirs hands down! He'd get a frozen cheese pizza and then load it up with onions, peppers, sausage, 'shrroms and extra cheese. You had to eat it with a knife and fork! And this was years before the advent of the boutique pizzerias that infest college towns, which carry more flavors than Ben and Jerry's!

As for Mr. Monaghan, whatever he does, Pat Robertson and his premiere fundamentalist factory, Regent University have got him beat by a country mile!



[Edited on Sep 01, 2005 12:01AM]

Having worked at both, I'd take Domino's long before I even considered Pizza Hut. Just trust me on that. My Dominos, at the very least, is extremely clean, the Pizza Hut I worked at was absolutely disgusting.

But now I work at this fancy shmancy Zagat rated pizza place, so now I'm spoiled.

I think that cleanliness really varies from location to location and may not necessarily be indicative of a particular chain, although I'm sure there are exceptions.

The taste of the pizza sauce is really important to me. I think Domino's pizza sauce is really bland. Their whole pizza just really seems dead to me.

I don't like Pizza Hut because it is a very heavy pizza and ends up feeling like a ton of bricks in the bottom of my stomach. It tastes fine, though.

I really like Papa John's pizza, but it really is one of the more expensive pizzas as pizzas go.

*Edited for content and capitalization*

[Edited on Sep 01, 2005 by Holden_Caulfield]

I swear a few of them rolled their eyes when this was proposed.

City councils everywhere now have a full range of emoticons for their administrative use.

Most commonly used is and , followed closely by

Wowwww. Way to go, Monaghan! Because we Catholics don't have a bad enough reputation around here...

And since when does Catholicism become synonymous with conservative politics and no pornography and the banning the sales of contraceptives? Last time I checked, most of mainland Europe is some form of Catholic, and they seem to be doing all right in those departments. I think the religion he's looking for is Puritanism?

yeah that doesn't sound to bad does it. Let 'em go,
and they can take thier crappy pizza too.

where's that atheist city gonna be again?. The one with all the porn and condoms.

What about the Noid where will he live, I mean come on he's a guy in a rubber suit and steals pizza .
The Noid won't some one think of the Noid?!