URGENT HELP!!! Hair or Job...?

Okay, I only have a few days to solidify my thoughts on this, so urgent help needed...
A little over three months ago, I shaved my head, and it's taken this long for it to grow back enough for me to bleach it. About a month ago, I started a part-time job for some extra cash while I set up my graphics business. At the weekend, I bleached my hair (as I've had it for nearly 5 years) I went into work the other day and the manager (not the overall boss though) said that I'd have to dye it back to the natural color. I pointed out to him that as there are some women at work that dye their hair, that was sexual discrimination. I can't stress enough just how much I hate having my hair it's natural color. I don't feel I look 'like myself' unless it's bleached, and that's how my friends and family are used to seeing me. I called the overall boss to disscuss it with him, and he said that he couldn't see it being a problem, but he'd be in friday for me to discuss it with him. Now, this is only a part0time job, but it is interesting work, pays well, and has the potential to become full time employment... If it comes down to me having to dye my hair back, should I walk out, effectively cutting off my nose to spite my face, or should I agree? If it wasn't a case of money, I'd say fuck it and walk out, why should I let a part time job dictate how I look outside of work in my personal life? But, on the other hand, is it really worth throwing away a potentially good career simply to have my hair the color I like?
Thanks in advance

self integrity or money and advancement? tough call.
i say quit and find a more inviting and lenient work enviroment.

I ran into the same situation when I was in the Marine Corps. I bleached my hair and they gave me the option to dye it back to my original color or shave it. So I when natural but added some highlights. Then I went and purchased some highlighting mousse. I used it every other day and it gently started lightening my hair back to my desired color. It took a few months but I was back to platinum blond and no one seemed to mind. If anyone did ask I just said that the sun lightens my hair during summer. (they looked at me crazy when I said that in the Winter)

i can't have my mohawk in my new job, i currently have a shaved head just because i wanted a break from having to pay attention to my hair in the morning but when it grows back it'll probably just be a faux hawk. i can live with that because my new job pays 4 times my old job. one day i'll work somewhere else and i'll be able to do different things with my hair, but i decided it really wasn't as important to me as being debt free and being able to travel.
your situation is entirely different, and you're completely right, if it's ok for women to do it and not men that's sexual discrimination. and if you don't feel like you with you hair it's natural colour then i see no reason not to fight the bastards on this. looking in the mirror and not looking at yourself is a weird feeling, i wouldn't want to do that every day, so if it's hair or job - if it really is that important to you - then i say hair. but it isn't a choice you should have to make. fight them, you should win - but that might require legal assistance. if you lose, oh well, you'll get another job, right? and if you win, then you've stuck it to the man, well done

It's not like your hair is blue or bright pink. Plus, like you said, women dye their hair.

Have you talked to the overall manager, or the boss's boss? Maybe they ought to know what a little shit this manager is being. Get a copy of the dress code and see what is says about hair color.

And no, you shouldn't throw a good job away in favor of your hair color. But you really shouldn't have to choose between the two.

As far as I know, if you want to split hairs (pardon the pun), really really blonde is a "natural" hair color.

I'd go with the hair.

Well, I've checked the dress code, and there is no mention about hair color at all (I specifically checked before doing it because I suspected there might be a reaction like this)
I spoke to the Senior Partner on the phone, and he said he couldn't see it being a problem, but to wait till I could see him friday just to be sure. I think he'll probably be okay about it. I think the thing that's pissing me off the most is that I don't particularly want to quit as I do enjoy the work and it's very interesting (and very good pay for part-time) but, I spend more time out of work with friends and family. Having my hair bleached is as much a part of my self image as my tattoos or my engagement ring, and I don't see why I should have to permantatly compromize that image for a part-time job. Keep the advice coming folks, I want as many opinions as possible as this is something I'm really struggling over...

Why does your hair mean so much?
Would you be less of a person with your hair non-bleached? Would you be someone else? No. So fuck it, if you want to keep the job, just fuckin' man up, be an adult and do it.

As I said above, it means so much because it's as much a part of my self image as my tattoos or engagement ring. I don't feel that I look 'like myself' if my hair isn't bleached, and I don't see why I should dislike what I see in the mirror just because of a job, or why I should present a different image to my family and friends, especially not when yesterday, my mother in law said that having my hair bleached suited me better than my natural color. I shouldn't have to compromise that for a part time job.
Then there's the issue of sexual discrimination. Women at work have their hair dyed and it's not an issue, so if they can do it, so can I.
Having spoken to the Senior Partner, I think it will be okay. I hope it will be okay as I don't want to quit, but likewise, I'm quite prepared to quit rather than changing how I look, because having spent three months regrowing my hair and hating every second of it, I know I would be seriously unhappy if I couldn't have my hair bleached.

i recently interviewed for a position as a judicial marshall and i took out my 1 inch plugs and let them close as much as they could. sometimes you have to make sacrifices to get the cash.

I HATE that type of discrimination.
If the women have it, why can't you?
I had the same problem with my earrings- 1 10g hoop in each ear.

Talk to your boss on friday, maybe this will be a non-issue.
in the end, if the big boss says you can't have it, (after you have pointed out the womens hair and the dress code policies) shave your head again, its summer, no natural color....if you REALLY like the job.
I say this with bile in my mouth b/c the hypocrasy fuckin sucks.

Why would you want to work for an asshole like that? If he has a problem with hair, he has an assload of other problems too.

If you're not breaking an established rule, ask the senior partner if these decisions are left up to mgr descretion. even if I'm in a good job I continue to look-- walk before they make me run, as it were.

Sell out, dude. If I had to, I want you to. One of us, one of us!!!!

Loosing the job has obvious problems, but what about your job reference if you leave? Would they give you a decent reference and is that an issue in your circumstances?

From the quote above, you do not appear to have a case for sexual discrimination. Your employer is allowed to require you to conform to social norms of dress.

The same applies in the USA

[Edited on Aug 10, 2005 by MetaTag]

I believe he would still have a case. *Not that I'm pushing for you to turn your life into a legal battle dude* The length of hair is a comletely different topic, in my own opinion. Most businesses see long hair on males as unprofessional, so I could see how the mentioned fellow above lost his case. In this circumstance it's about hair color. It could be accepted on both male or females or out of dress code all together. This isn't a situation where you could allow one sex to continue to bleach their hair and not the other.

Sucks to be you.

Having spoken to my mother in law, I've decided what I'm going to do.
Nothing.
I'm not going to dye my hair back to it's natural color, because I would hate the sight of myself everytime I looked in a mirror.
I'm not going to quit my job either.
I'm going to see what the Senior Partner says, and if he has a problem with it, I'm going to let them fire me for it.
And then I'll take them to court for sexual discrimination.
The reference is an issue I'd considered, but as I'm in the process of setting up my own company anyway, it wouldn't be anything but a temporary blip inconvenience, and as there's nothing in the employee handbook about hair color (or dying) I can safely say that I haven't broken any employee guidelines, so the sacking would be unreasonable, and definitely actionable
Thanks for all the advice

I am not a legal expert proper legal advice is required, but the logic of the case is that the employer is allowed to require employees to observe social norms, providing that the rule is applied evenly to both genders.

If the Courts hold that it is normal for women to dye their hair, but not for men to do so, then the employer can dismiss the employee.





[Edited on Aug 10, 2005 by MetaTag]

Exactly. Employers could enforce their policies, as long as it is applied equally to both genders. I'm doubting that there is a single court in the US that would state "It's ok for a woman to bleach her hair, but not a man." Again this is just my assumption.