10 things every single girl must own

http://msn.match.com/msn/article.aspx?articleid=4320&TrackingID=516311&BannerID=544657

Is this as stupid as I think it is?

"Balance out your collection with one CD, any CD, by Eminem and you have no idea how relieved he'll be. It shows you have an open mind and aren't easily offended—and that's music to any man's ears."

Yeah, cause all men like Eminem.

Stupid, generalized bullshit.

hey girls, Admit it. You feel like Maria from West Side Story (You feel pretty, oh so pretty…) when you slip on a pair of nice heels.

*grabs and shakes you* ADMIT IT!

What?! You don't want to adopt "If you don't want it to break, you buy it" as your new mantra?

Doesn't a business card kinda say, "professional"?

seriously...if I see Eminem and the indigo girls I'll know how naive she is...thanks to MSN I now know what women NOT to date.

I don't know, this is the only actual good piece of advice I saw on there.

Everytime I see an article like this, I envision the writer's pride evaporating with every word, until they're shriveled up like Woody Allen under a heat lamp.

And then I smile.

God, how much helium do you have to huff to get yourself feeling giddily vapid enough to write shit like that?

No way I'm buying a fucking Eminem CD.

But if you don't, then boys won't like you.

That is horrid. I want to spit on the person who wrote that.

Ummmm, no.

1. If we've met you, we're not going to think you're more or less attractive in 2D. If we haven't, we know its the most flattering photo you think has ever been taken of you.
2. Your call. Note though that most men are intimidated by women taller than they are.
3. No one is going to be impressed or fooled by Eminem in the year 2005, and the first think I look at when I go to someone's house is their books.
4. The best pick up line is "Hello" and there is no good blow off line. I've had guys try to pick up my wife while she was sitting in my lap. Just smile and be highly disinterested if that doesn't work tell the bartender that he's bothering you.
5. Beer is good, if you drink it. Buying anything to impress someone completely hypothetical smacks of desperation. If you worry about this shit, just go to his place until you don't count as "single" anymore.
6. If I'm taking a dump at your house, especially if i don't know you real well, I'm not going to hang around for the reading. Leave a matchbook on the tank lid instead.
7. Guy lose everything. Call his cell from your cell. Plus, telling guys you don't know real well where you work is pretty stupid.
8. Tickle his face, he'll roll over and stop snoring. Brightly colored wads of goo in your ears is off-putting.
9. Hopefully you already have one straight, male friend whose phone number you know just from being a well adjusted social being.
10. Hey, number 10, something useful. How 'bout that.

Man, if I see a girl with the Slim Shady LP, I'm going to be a little disturbed. "'97 Bonnie and Clyde" is not the kind I want a girlfriend of mine to be listening to.

Eminem? Couldn't they have picked something a little bit classier than that?

I don't know, I keep beer and liquor that I'm not that hot on for friends and visitors. I try to keep a bottle each of cab and zin, even though I prefer riesling, as well as a six of decent beer, even though I rarely drink the stuff.

Ah, fags. The latht group we can thafely thtereotype.

The real way to impress a guy is with a Tom Waits album or two. He's tough, masculine, and a genius.

ok, no way in hell am i handing out business cards

and also, why do i need "fancy" beer... does anyone even like the way that shit tastes?

wow, so many things i could say negatively about this article...

Listen to this man, he knows what he's talking about.

i have 8 out of those 10 things. what does that say about me?

oh that was just fucking aweful !
Thats more like "how to be so desperate to please a man that you are willing to clutter your space with FHM related items"
But, i suppose it works if you just dragged a guy home from a bar and wanted to keep him drunk and give him reading material for his morning beer shits.

Buggar that!

Haha, well said.

Sometimes I wonder how people really do get by in life with contrived and ridiculous drivel such as this.

I'm sure it can be printed out and filed next to The Rules' books.