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7/3/05

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commonman

commonman

USA
August 2003
Cherie

Cherie

Providence, RI
October 2002

JUL 01, 2005 02:45 PM

"Balance out your collection with one CD, any CD, by Eminem and you have no idea how relieved he'll be. It shows you have an open mind and aren't easily offended—and that's music to any man's ears."

Yeah, cause all men like Eminem. whatever

Liante

Liante

SUICIDEGIRL

Kiribati

JUL 01, 2005 02:47 PM

No. It's stupider.

Before I clicked on the link I was expecting to see things like "1. A cell phone. 2. Mace," and so forth. Granted, I'm paranoid, but at least that version would have been true.

This one... damn. My brain cells just committed mass suicide to escape the pain.

mamet

mamet

Charleston, SC
March 2005

JUL 01, 2005 02:53 PM

Stupid, generalized bullshit.

Koenigsegg

Koenigsegg

I'm lost
July 2004

JUL 01, 2005 02:54 PM

hey girls, Admit it. You feel like Maria from West Side Story (You feel pretty, oh so pretty…) when you slip on a pair of nice heels.

*grabs and shakes you* ADMIT IT!

Olivia

Olivia

STAFF

Oakland, CA

JUL 01, 2005 02:59 PM

Oh my god. I feel like someone dragged my eyes across a cheese grater.

Cherie

Cherie

Providence, RI
October 2002

JUL 01, 2005 03:02 PM

Olivia said:
Oh my god. I feel like someone dragged my eyes across a cheese grater.



What?! You don't want to adopt "If you don't want it to break, you buy it" as your new mantra? puke

Lumenagerie

Lumenagerie

Seattle, WA
May 2005

JUL 01, 2005 03:02 PM

Doesn't a business card kinda say, "professional"?

Tekky

Tekky

SUICIDEGIRL

Ontario, Canada

JUL 01, 2005 03:05 PM

oh god. puke

alpha_hazard

alpha_hazard

Fort Collins, CO
April 2004

JUL 01, 2005 03:07 PM

Cherie said:
"Balance out your collection with one CD, any CD, by Eminem and you have no idea how relieved he'll be. It shows you have an open mind and aren't easily offended—and that's music to any man's ears."

Yeah, cause all men like Eminem. whatever



seriously...if I see Eminem and the indigo girls I'll know how naive she is...thanks to MSN I now know what women NOT to date.

MrMuller

MrMuller

Detroit, MI
March 2004

JUL 01, 2005 03:07 PM

Cherie said:

Olivia said:
Oh my god. I feel like someone dragged my eyes across a cheese grater.



What?! You don't want to adopt "If you don't want it to break, you buy it" as your new mantra? puke



I don't know, this is the only actual good piece of advice I saw on there.

PatrickY

PatrickY

Vancouver, WA
December 2003

JUL 01, 2005 03:08 PM

Everytime I see an article like this, I envision the writer's pride evaporating with every word, until they're shriveled up like Woody Allen under a heat lamp.

And then I smile.

God, how much helium do you have to huff to get yourself feeling giddily vapid enough to write shit like that?

Argene

Argene

Pittsburgh, PA
June 2004

JUL 01, 2005 03:09 PM

No way I'm buying a fucking Eminem CD.

mamet

mamet

Charleston, SC
March 2005

JUL 01, 2005 03:16 PM

L_aerophile said:
No way I'm buying a fucking Eminem CD.



But if you don't, then boys won't like you. whatever

BlackHive

BlackHive

Philadelphia, PA
January 2004

JUL 01, 2005 03:19 PM

That is horrid. I want to spit on the person who wrote that.

reprobate

reprobate

New Orleans, LA
December 2002

JUL 01, 2005 03:19 PM

Ummmm, no.

1. If we've met you, we're not going to think you're more or less attractive in 2D. If we haven't, we know its the most flattering photo you think has ever been taken of you.
2. Your call. Note though that most men are intimidated by women taller than they are.
3. No one is going to be impressed or fooled by Eminem in the year 2005, and the first think I look at when I go to someone's house is their books.
4. The best pick up line is "Hello" and there is no good blow off line. I've had guys try to pick up my wife while she was sitting in my lap. Just smile and be highly disinterested if that doesn't work tell the bartender that he's bothering you.
5. Beer is good, if you drink it. Buying anything to impress someone completely hypothetical smacks of desperation. If you worry about this shit, just go to his place until you don't count as "single" anymore.
6. If I'm taking a dump at your house, especially if i don't know you real well, I'm not going to hang around for the reading. Leave a matchbook on the tank lid instead.
7. Guy lose everything. Call his cell from your cell. Plus, telling guys you don't know real well where you work is pretty stupid.
8. Tickle his face, he'll roll over and stop snoring. Brightly colored wads of goo in your ears is off-putting.
9. Hopefully you already have one straight, male friend whose phone number you know just from being a well adjusted social being.
10. Hey, number 10, something useful. How 'bout that.

Cigarette

Cigarette

Cleveland, OH
April 2004

JUL 01, 2005 03:22 PM

Man, if I see a girl with the Slim Shady LP, I'm going to be a little disturbed. "'97 Bonnie and Clyde" is not the kind I want a girlfriend of mine to be listening to.

Trevallion

Trevallion

Murfreesboro, TN
February 2004

JUL 01, 2005 03:24 PM

Eminem? Couldn't they have picked something a little bit classier than that?

Cigarette

Cigarette

Cleveland, OH
April 2004

JUL 01, 2005 03:28 PM

reprobate said:
5. Beer is good, if you drink it. Buying anything to impress someone completely hypothetical smacks of desperation. If you worry about this shit, just go to his place until you don't count as "single" anymore.



I don't know, I keep beer and liquor that I'm not that hot on for friends and visitors. I try to keep a bottle each of cab and zin, even though I prefer riesling, as well as a six of decent beer, even though I rarely drink the stuff.

Every girl knows she needs a gay male friend she can go to for fashion advice (a personal Queer Eye for Your Closet).


Ah, fags. The latht group we can thafely thtereotype.

Cigarette

Cigarette

Cleveland, OH
April 2004

JUL 01, 2005 03:29 PM

The real way to impress a guy is with a Tom Waits album or two. He's tough, masculine, and a genius.

TheDishwasher

TheDishwasher

Frederick, MD
July 2004

JUL 01, 2005 03:33 PM

ok, no way in hell am i handing out business cards

and also, why do i need "fancy" beer... does anyone even like the way that shit tastes?

wow, so many things i could say negatively about this article...

puke

The_Happy_Pig

The_Happy_Pig

United Kingdom
December 2004

JUL 01, 2005 03:33 PM

Cigarette said:
The real way to impress a guy is with a Tom Waits album or two. He's tough, masculine, and a genius.



Listen to this man, he knows what he's talking about.

sixsixty

sixsixty

Oakland, CA
OLD SKOOL

JUL 01, 2005 03:37 PM

i have 8 out of those 10 things. what does that say about me?

Mineux

Mineux

HOPEFUL

Torrance, CA

JUL 01, 2005 03:37 PM

oh that was just fucking aweful !
Thats more like "how to be so desperate to please a man that you are willing to clutter your space with FHM related items"
But, i suppose it works if you just dragged a guy home from a bar and wanted to keep him drunk and give him reading material for his morning beer shits.

Buggar that! puke

Elisabeth

Elisabeth

San Francisco, CA
December 2002

JUL 01, 2005 03:57 PM

Liante said:
No. It's stupider.

Before I clicked on the link I was expecting to see things like "1. A cell phone. 2. Mace," and so forth. Granted, I'm paranoid, but at least that version would have been true.

This one... damn. My brain cells just committed mass suicide to escape the pain.



Haha, well said.

Sometimes I wonder how people really do get by in life with contrived and ridiculous drivel such as this.

I'm sure it can be printed out and filed next to The Rules' books. whatever

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