What Makes a Good Father?

What makes a good father?

I ask because I was reading an article that says Aka Pygmies are the best dads in the world, and I wondered what SG thought.

I'd say that you pretty much can't have that standard of fathering unless you're in a pre/non-agricultural society or a post-industrial society. Everything in the middle pretty much means that at least one of the parents is going to be a breadwinner, and that means breaking up the family unit for part of every day.

This annoys the hell out of me. I always have, and always will, make a point of telling my son that I love him every day. And I always make a point to spend quality time with him.
Being a "man" or a "breadwinner" doesn't mean you can't have a close relationship with your child.

And yes, a real man does change diapers

That's the kind of dad I want to be.

I've always concidered the fathers relationship just important as the mothers. Each parent has something different to offer their child. Hell, what kid is going to argue with getting two times the love, anyway.

I've noticed that- in the US at least- The fathers role is becoming more and more important, and we're finally moving away from the whole "stoic dad" persona. Stoic dad, that man who can't feel a thing because he has bills to pay. Screw that.

Mothers are the main person when the child is a baby. The connection and nourishment.
But when the child is getting older they need that father around.
Be there for your child, make sure the child knows your there and that you care for him/her.

I strongly disagree. The child ALWAYS needs the father around... not just when he or she is older.
That connection that's made early on is important to both parents. The more love the child can get the better. (at any age)

while i think a father being around and active is a plus (assuming he's not a wackaloon of some unhealthy-to-child type), i don't think that proximity is necessarily a good measure of quality parenting... especially if we use that without weeding out the wackaloon factor.

I suppose the most crucial aspect would be to take an interest in their child and make time for them.

Both my sons were in daycare from quiet early on in their lives (can't remember exactly but before their first birthday) because both of us had to work/ study. And though I missed them like hell in the beginning it was very obvious that they really enjoyed the comany of other children and that it helped their social development. Both of them turned out to be very confident and open kids.

What's important is that the time you get to spent with them really belongs to them as much as that is possible. Make them feel loved, let them know that you're proud of them, and that no matter how much trouble they get themselves into you'll always be there for them. If you do that then it's also no problem to show them where the lines are that they should not cross.

not leaving your kids and buying them pizza at least once a week

Don't be a Beer Dad. Be the dad that goes to games, attends art shows, and learns the names of friends. Moving out of state is also unwise.

Don't be an alcoholic, do drugs, or abuse your woman while she's 8 months pregnant.

Oh wait... that's MY dad.

one that comes once a year ad brings presents

my father taught me pride, honor, and responisiblty. both for myself and for family.

i love him for that.

he was also one of the most humble men in the world...

Integrity, nobility, and I think it's a father's job to teach a son at least, how to treat women with respect.

I'm not sure if it's a good or a bad thing, but my fiance's step-dad has been more of a father to me in the 11 months we've been together, than my own dad has been in the 26.5 years I lived under his roof

(all of the above)...

be prepared that, at times, that you are going to have to be the evil, bad guy, kill-joy, troll that is not their 'friend' and has the job of saying "No".

be prepared that, at times, that you are going to have to sit idley by and not try and stop your kids as they strike out on a venture you know is doomed to fail.

be prepared that, at times, you are not going to be sure of which of the above actions is correct and you are going to have to wing it.

June, where's my pipe?