problems with friends

I'm all for teasing good naturedly, but if you don't wanna be touched, your friends should respect that. The next time they do it, punch 'em in the balls and say, "There, did you like it when I touched YOU?"

No one has the right to just start touching another person and invade their personal space. Personally, I'm a very affectionate person, and find hugging and touching very soothing, but I'd never touch someone that didn't want me to, or if they said they didn't like it, I'd certainly stop, not keep doing it. Sounds to me like your 'friend' needs to be a bit more respectful of your feelings and keep his hands to himself.
Spike

Some people are touchy-feely and some are not.
If your friend is really a friend, he should respect your feelings on the subject.

I used to be pretty stiff (runs in the family), now my friends get a hug. I like it better that way, but to each their own.

*poke*

I love my guy friends, but I hate when things start to cross the line. I totally feel you. Sometimes the touching can be icky, but other times it's nice. I guess it really depends on the context. But if you asked him not to and he did it anyway, not cool.

yeah im not into being touched, unless its a gf and i like them just having their foot on mine or any tiny little touchings liek that. (and ofc al other close touching, but i especially love the tiny touches)

Of course if the touching is obviously sexual in nature, there is a rational explanation for your disliking it.

But otherwise, these things are almost always caused by either a traumatic event or something in your childhood. The cause can be innocent enough, but what matters is how you percieved it at the time. Say an uncle is overly fond of hugging and he smells bad. That could easily create a dislike for hugs in general on a subconscious level. Even though you are able, with your adult perspective, to isolate his hugs and not have it affect your hugability in general, if you don't become aware of his impact on you, it might cause stuff like what you mention. Become aware, sit down and figure out what might be causing your feelings toward physical contact with people you haven't OK'd to touch you.

i am in a very very similar situation at the moment actually. there is this girl i know, who is sort of a friend, more of an aquantance, and evertime i see her she is super-grabby.

i am a very private person with my personal space in general, it creeps me out when people accidentally brush by me and stuff and if i don't know you well and/or are dating you i prob don't want to touch you casually and you can totally tell by the expression on my face and the fact that i recoil. but she keeps doing it anyway.

it has mostly made me not want to be around her at all. so i totally know what you are going through.

i do love hugs from good friends though :-)

maybe you should tell him how you feel about it.. like flat out truth.. no sugar coating or anything (not saying yur doing that). Some people are just touchy feely. Take me for example.. i give hugs to all my friends.. to me friends are like family.. gotta share the love. Maybe perhaps he has feelings for you? Just some stuff to think about.

ezekiel also makes a very good point

[Edited on Dec 09, 2002 by KhronoX]

is that why it makes you uncomfortable? you feel like people are just trying to cop a feel?

It's comforting to know that apparently I'm not the only one with severe personal space issues.

I constantly catch shit for it, and my friends fuck with me all the time - sometimes to the point where I freak. I don't lose my temper often, but when I do I go off ... and that's the one button to push and they know that all too well.

My one friend's mother actually refers to me as "the guy that doesn't like to be touched" ... but never to my face.

[Edited on Dec 09, 2002 by crispy]

i have had to institute a no touching rule at work. god damn!

its about signals and respect, i suppose.

i have three or four old guy friends who i cant help but to hug and hang off of when we see each other.

and there are a few other frustrated friends who wont keep their hands off of me. AND when i try to kiss them on the cheek, they turn their head really quick and steal one on the lips. fucking drives me nuts.

then again most girls just kick me in the shins and run away.